Should Mom Take Responsibility For Not Monitoring Her Child Rather Than Suing MySpace When Daughter Is Raped?

This is why american news are at the same time hillarious and infuriating when read..

Another example of the American need to deny personal responcibility.

I cant even reply to this without fear that I will explode….all I can say is that I hope she never sees a penny of it and that maybe the mother will resume her parental responsibilities since apparently shes been on a 14 yr vacation…..

Agreed with all. Much like parents who say that “videogames made my child violent” but use those same videogames to practically raise their children in their absense – this girl and her mother should be ashamed of themselves.

I feel badly for them, sure – but to then suggest it’s MySpace’s fault because this girl was too naive and her deadbeat mother was absentee – just disgusting.

I hope they lose, MySpace countersues for defamation (if it’s even possible) and this family is bankrupted. Perhaps that will teach them a quick and dirty lesson in personal responsibility.

For the record, I think MySpace is retarded – so I’m hardly an apologist here.

Buda is the town in Texas the guy is from.

The article doesn’t say the girl was raped, just sexually assaulted, which can mean a lot of things and usually doesn’t mean rape.

It’s a money grab and the Mom is probably happy for the opportunity.

I absolutely agree that the mother is partly at fault. I just posted the exact same argument in my blog. techieramblings.blogspot.com

What about the friggen Buda man? Why not sue him for $30 mil?

In Canada you have to show and prove damages. I’d like to see the justification list for $30 million. The biggest problem in the US is your legal system which encourages such behavior.

I have two preteens who are just now getting on the web in a serious way. My wife and I tell them these things all the time:
1. Never, never, never give out your real personal info on the web.
2. Stay out of chat rooms. If you must use one, realize there are sickos out there who want to kidnap, abuse and kill you. They will lie. What appears to be a sweet 12 year old girl may really be a fat, sweaty, balding, old man in his underwear.
3. Never, never, never agree to meet anyone you talk to online. Remember the fat, sweaty, balding guy? He wants to take off his underwear.
4. If anyone threatens you if you tell your parents what’s going on, it’s because they know we can protect you, and we will have him arrested (or worse) if we find out. He doesn’t say not to tell us because we should be afraid of him, but rather because he is afraid of us. You can tell us anything, and if you are in trouble, the sooner you tell us, the better we will be able to fix it.

If the mother in the story had done this, she probably would not have had this problem. Of course, if she really just used her daughter for lawsuit-bait, she should have all her parental rights stripped away. In any case, it’s not MySpace’s fault. What if the kid went to the park in the middle of the night and got mugged? Would it be the city’s/state’s/fed’s fault? Of course not. You should not be able to sue someone else for your own stupidity.

The sole blame in this is the mother. Apparently her outlet for being at fault for not having decent parenting skills is to blame Myspace and having it as her scapegoat for not being responsible. Too many parents out there think that it’s the job of corporations, government, school, church, etc. to raise their children to have some common sense and a good sense of morality.

NEWS FLASH:

It is NOT everyone else’s job to tell your children what they should or should not be doing. It is the damn job of the parent, if the parent messes it up, then it’s they’re own stupid lazy ass fault. Unfortunately, the society we live in has to pick up the slack and deal with it.

What’s wrong with this country is that too many parents are looking for the easiest possible way to raise their children (not taking any responsiblity).

Who provided this girl with a computer with internet connection without first talking to her about the dangers that may be out there? Is it any different then sending her out of the house without warning her of the dangers that may be lurking on the street?

This is so stupid…the mother is so stupid…

19,
AS SOON as you give your TRUE name to another person, THEN its YOUR responsibility…
NAME,
Picture,
ADDRESS,
CITY that you live in, as some places ARNT that big.
ZIP CODE
PHONE number
SCHOOL, School name, Address, and so forth.
Bank account #
SS#,
TIME of day..NO mention of when you get out of school or work.
YOUR parents names, and Any of the above for your parents, ALSO.
YOUR FRIENDS info, from the SAME list above.

IF they are not a friend that LIVES near you, you DONT give them ANYTHING. YOU DONT even mention anything in a MUTI-chat. Just cause you know 1 person, dont mean you WANT to meet the others.

AND if you do meet someone…Bring them to your parents, FIRST…They know what to ask, and how to look the person up, and IF not, they can contact to police to check(or scare him off).

How about useing the STANARD rules for talking/meeting ANY stranger, or talking in public.

#12, Ascii King, The Headline used the word “Rape”. Sexual Assault is commonly used instead of the word rape though it may include a lessor offense. Most jurisdictions consider sex between an adult and a minor rape, even when it is consensual. You are correct and make a good point about the date. The law suit though is against BOTH myspace.com and the accused assailant. The base of the suit against myspace.com is because they failed to monitor sexual predators.

I agree that the mother should have taken more responsibility. Chasity belts and restraints are often looked upon as too restrictive though. My point though, is that these sites DO NOT really care if the person is actually who and what they say they are. When you read the news article, it says there are five state Attorneys General pushing myspace.com to validate customer information.

It is quite common that if a social club invites the public in, they may share some of the responsibility if the patron is later injured. If myspace.com is at fault in any of this, they will bear some responsibility too.

At 14, she is still a child. If she was mature enough then we would allow her the right to vote and join the military. She isn’t mature enough and so society (and the law) gives her more protection then an adult receives. If the members of Dvorak Uncensored remember when they were 14, they will also remember how naive and invincible they were.

I am so glad that so many of you assholes still want to blame the victim for what happened, not one of you have put any of the blame upon the man who attacked her. Right, she must have asked for it.

24,
I lay judgement on the mother.

see my rants on 17 and 22(a reply).
I consider that IF the parents didnt School/teach her about the basics of STRANGERS… It must be lay’d at the parents feet.
I do, understand that the 18,19 year old is ALSO responsible.
But, in life, it takes 2…as with a Gun in the home, you NEEd the bullets.

and IF the parents were NOT knowledgable enough to KNOW about computers and the INTERNET, ASK. Dont THINK your kid knows it ALL. The STRANGER rule APPLIES… YOU DONT get in his car, and you DONT meet him, private or SEMI private or EVEN publicly. So, it comes down to the parents TAKING the time to monitor instead of LETTING the computer BABYSIT.

#26, Mr. H. Fusion — I understand your outrage, but I think you have to realize that the commenters were not saying that the RAPIST did not commit a crime, and shouldn’t pay the penalty (death if appropriate to the crime, IMHO).

OK Lou, lets add this up. All those blaming the mother or daughter for being raped raise your hand.

Post #2, This is why american news are at the same time hillarious and infuriating when read..

Post #3, Parents dropped the ball on that one;
Post #4, Another example of the American need to deny personal responcibility.
Post #5, Wow is this a ludicrous lawsuit.
Post #6, …and that maybe the mother will resume her parental responsibilities …
Post #7, Should mother take responsibility for not monitoring her child…. (snip) ? YES.
Post #8, …this girl and her mother should be ashamed of themselves.
Post #9, #7 Couldn’t have said it better.
Post #12The article doesn’t say the girl was raped, just sexually assaulted, which can mean a lot of things and usually doesn’t mean rape.
It’s a money grab and the Mom is probably happy for the opportunity.
Post #13, …the girl went on a date with this guy. She spent the entire evening with him so she should have been able to see who he was.
Post #14, I absolutely agree that the mother is partly at fault.
Post #15, Bad parenting plain and simple.
Post #17, Lets just say…LESSON LEARNED.
Post #18, …If the mother in the story had done this, she probably would not have had this problem.
Post #19, at what point does personal responsibility come into play?

Post #20, The sole blame in this is the mother.
Post #21, I just love how people feel the need to place the blame on others for their own, or their children’s stupidity.
Post #22, AS SOON as you give your TRUE name to another person, THEN its YOUR responsibility…
Post #23, “MySpace is more concerned about making money than protecting children online,” said Adam Loewy, who is representing the girl and her mother in the lawsuit against MySpace
Sounds like Adam is talking about the Mother there, not MySpace
Post #26, I lay judgement on the mother.

Lets add up those who did not blame the mother or daughter.

Post #1, inquiring about the man from Buda.
Post #10, replying to #1
Post #11, hey, that’s me raising the point about legality.
Post #16, asking why the rapist isn’t being sued. He is. But then he turns around and suggests the blame lies with the mother and daughter.
Post #24, Me again, raising the issue of blaming the victim
Post #25, Lou defending the other posts. And well too.
Post #27, Me again.

So that is 20 posts that blamed the mother and or daughter. And just me that had anything defending them. So who was blaming the rapist? In all of the above posts, who raised the issue that rape is rape. Hey, several suggested she asked for it. But only one of them directed the blame towards the responsibility of others, and then half heartedly. Of 24 posts, other then mine, only one

So Lou, what message were the other posters saying if it wasn’t the mother and daughter’s fault?

What scum. Blame the victim.

Mr. H. Fusion

I stand corrected. The blame is solely on both the mother and the rapist.

I thought it was pretty clear that blaming the rapist was just beating a dead horse, as it’s obvious that the rapist was wrong and should be punished for committing the act. So the intention of my statement was really to state that the mother had a responsiblity to protect her daughter from the evils of the world (on the internet or wherever else).

It’s like giving someone a power saw and not explaining to them how to use it. It is a very useful tool, but at the same time, it can be very dangerous too. Proper instruction as to how to use a tool or medium is necessary by a parent to their children as they grow up, including how to make decisions in life and critical thinking.

Public responsibility??

If I see someone dragging your daughter Threw a MALL, screaming her head off. If would behove me to STOP them/you and ask whats going on, and ask for ID from both persons. OR at the least, grab a cop or security officeor to help me.

Is it MY responsibility to MONITOR your child? To see if she gets in a stamgers car? WILLINGLY?
analogy: Is it MY responsibility to Watch over someone ELSE’s sheep when the wolf come around, or is it the herders job to keep an eye open and KEEP the sheep away from the Wolf.
Its MY job to WATCH my sheep, and teach them, IF I can, NOT to jump off the cliff and to AVOID the wolf.

I DO, know its hard these days for a parent.
There is ALOT of tech out there, that we dont take/have the time to investigate. And the NEt has made this world ALOT smaller, when a Pedifile can locate your kid from 12,000 miles away.
I do have to make a declaration, as I was REQUIRE to grow up VERY fast and VERY young. And i DO think children should be taught EARLY, and by age 13-14 SHOULD have enough knowledge to KNOW the world ISNT a fantasy world, and that there ARE alot of bad people out there, INCLUDING lawyers and politicians.
DONT wait for your kid to Leave HOME to discover that the WORLD isnt fair or even NICE. At this time, I cant see MOST of the kids out of school, worldly understanding, until they get to 25+ IF AT ALL.

letting your kid wonder the city/town/state/country THINKING that someone ELSE will protect them FROM THEMSELVES, When you havent INSTILLED the basic knowledge of How to protect THEMSLEVES, is foolish and stupid.
At the MOST, someone in the school yard, COULD have asked her WHO that was, Does whe know Him very well, and if its a family member. But, it seems she had few friends, OR she told her friends she had a date with an OLDER man, and they all applauded.

If grown adults can be bilked out of their entire savings by con men, children can be coerced into anything given the skill of a bad guy; the pressures of peers or the irresistable lure of things capable of hurting them – regardless of the quality of home instruction. You should understand this, ECA. (It’s kind of like teaching a sheep to avoid a wolf – it doesn’t always work.)

Think of a nasty web site as the mall. And now you have your chance to ask for ID and find a security officer as the child is being dragged away.

Because sheep, er, kids are going to be useful to all of us.

If you further understand that children can’t be supervised 100% of the time, you will then begin to understand why parents feel they have the right and the responsibility to force a certain amount of controls onto others who may pose a danger. That’s actually the “burden onto society” that I am referring to. That we all need to accept certain contraints in our lives and hits to our freedoms (ie: regulations, restrictions or responsibilities imposed upon dangerous activities or web sites) if it means keeping kids safe.

As you illustrate, the other kind: where one adult might feel some responsiblity for another stranger’s child is just a laughable pipe dream.

RBG

PS.
when my children grow up, and OUT…
I want a NEW friend, or aqaintance, NOT another PET, or a EXTRA large child, that I STILL need to care for.
I want them to MAKE there own decisions, and not LOOK to me, to pay there bills.
I can be there as a friend, NOT a parent.

Ummm, OK,
Buy I SHOULD do that to protect my OWN children.
Show me 1 LAW, that is spacific to protecting YOUR/someone ELSE’s children.
That LAW isnt in this state, as the STATE would have to Fence about 100,000 miles of canals.
And your shild would go into my yard, WITHOUT my consent, and wonder around my pool, and you DIDNt give them swimming lessons?? I wouldnt have a POOL, If my kids couldnt swim. I wouldnt have a pool If I DIDNT have a fenced yard, with a warning SIGN on it. “Stay out, or I will drown you myself”…Sorry about that last part, but this is VERY rural area. And we have some GREAT swimming holes.
AND yes, If I had a swimming pool I would ALSO place ALOT of flotation devices in it(rubber ducky’s).
Your child coming to my home(if I had a pool) would have to be supervised, PERIOD. As I supervise ANY person that enters my yard/home. And if they took it upon themselves to Visit my yard/home/pool other wise, isnt that taking there OWN life in hand, and venturing where they NEEd not go could lead to a VERY abrupt lesson…GOOD or BAD. But, arnt YOU suppose to teach this to your child.
Go to a friends home, and knock, and visit.
Go into their backyard, WITHOUT telling someone or ANNOUNCING your self, could lead a DOG to bite you, or EVEN, if I just sprayed Pesticides, for something BAD to happen.
Im sorry about this, BUT, If my child ventured into someones backyard, UNannounced, and Perchance someone caught them. Im sorry, but that would be abit of a PAIN for someone(not me). Im supposed to keep the nails out of the street, NOT for your childs sake, but If I am doing abit of carpentry, and nails are in the yard…
YOU and I, are supposed to teach basic manners, and HOW to NOT get into an accident. YEs, My teaching habits are abit MEAN…I WILL take my kid out to see the road kill(Lots in this small comunity), and SHOw them, and explain, EXPLAIN “THIS is why I told you NOT to go into the street, or to cross it”,”I DONT want to find you this way, and worry, that you will not live”. I dont candy coat things. I try to explain in the HARD reality, and hope understand. BECAUSE I dont want to repeat myself OVEr there Hospital bed(thank you lord) or their grave.
when they are old enough(I belive in being young) that you give the lessons of life EARLY, as you may not be there when it ‘hits the fan’ Be straight with kids, and they expect, and respect you. You have little control later in there lives, AS you may know. THEY HAVE TO do it THEIR way. THEY have to find their OWN course, and push ALL the boundries. I would rather my thoughts and lessons Stand OUT, and they REMEMBER them, FIRST and FORMOST.
I will find the Cracked out, Bastard in town, or SOMEPLACE, and show them what happens to THEM and their bodies. BEFORE they try drugs.
I WILL show them the Scalding pot, and say..HOT… and LEt them examine it and FIND out WHY you DONT TOUCH it…Before they reach for it, OFF the stove.
I will TEAch them to dog paddle, for THEIR life.
I WILL teach them to THINK and SEE around a corner, before they DRIVe threw and intersection. HOw to pause for about 2-5 seconds AFTEr the light turns green and MAKE sure those other cars ARE STOPPED, ANd the Blind guy ISNt infront of you.
RESPECt others property, as IF it was yours, and treat it as IF it was full of traps and landmines(dog do-do).
ANd IF the school kicks them out for giving Caffinated GUM, I will be BEHIND my kid, and Cussing the whole school out, but IF he gets caught with a MJ on his person and ends up in jail…THEY WILL sit it out…They can expct my visits, but CHOICE and freedom, come with a price. Its called, DO GET CAUGHT, and DONT think they DONt know who DID it.

age of consent laws
pollution laws
pesticide laws
germicide laws
toy safety laws
alcohol advertising
video game restrictions
foster care laws
physical violence against kids
airbag laws
child porn laws
alcohol purchase laws
child booster seat laws
curfew laws
anti-commercialism in school laws
child labor laws
anti-drug laws
second-hand smoke laws
cigarette sales laws
child care laws
molestation laws

AND all of these are Common laws that SHOULD be used, NO MATTER WHAT. they do NOT pertain to SOMEONE ELSES child, and NOT mine.
ALL the Child porna nd molestation laws, ARE NOT for your child, but AGAINST those that abuse them, and ALSO yourself.
I dont sell, Alcohol or CIgs, those are BUSINESS laws, they STILL have nothing to do with ME, helping your child.
AND IF, you come into my home, AND you know I smoke…THATS YOUR ERROR to bring a child into.
CURFEW??? During the SUMMER…THATS parents LAW. YOU ARe still responsible for YOUR CHILD, not others.
AGE of consent?? Thats Against the child, and NOt any adult. Still falls onto the parent.

Get off the horse. If your child jumps over a hedge/fence and fals into a 6 foot hole and breaks a leg, WHOSE fault is it?? YOURs or THEIRS?? WHEn are you going to know WHEN your child WANTS to be ADULT, and WHEN are you going to LET them BE ADULT.
This is NOT like a puppy, that GROWS UP, and becomes DOG.
LEt the strings go, THEY GROW UP, and your REQUIREMENT is to prepare them. NOt to coddle them until they are 40…TEACH and make them understand… IF they mess up, either YOU OR THEY made the mess and MUST learn from it.

OH, please comment, I LOVe a good debate…\