Rapture Index Hits 158!! Give Your Money Away, It Will Do You No Good!

Published on August 4th, 2006

I’ll bet you can find a lot of Cadillacs left behind too. Grab ‘em!

I heard about this ridiculous Rapture Index while watching the Daily Show. I had to make sure this thing wasn’t fake news. It’s not. What a great crackpot website. Huzzah. Dig around to find some rapturists and their lectures. What a way to spend time!

A taste:

I have been an avid student of Bible prophecy since 1989. And if my brand of prophetic interpretation must be categorized, then categorize me as a dispensational, premillennial, pretribulational literalist. I’ll wear that that title proudly. I believe it, research it, write about it, teach it, and preach it. However, despite spending hundreds of hours poring over ancient historical texts and the ancient Biblical prophecies themselves, you can be sure that I will not, nor do I ever intend to, force my opinions and conclusions upon anyone. Share yes, force no.

Gee, how nice. The guys seems like a dream date for you women out there.

And, or course for all you who see the ends time ahead, there is now a video game coming out this year called Left Behind: Eternal Forces based on the Left Behind novels. You can read about it here. Maybe you can order a copy. Makes a great gift for those upbeat rapturists cheering for the end of times! What fin, er fun.

23 users responded in " Rapture Index Hits 158!! Give Your Money Away, It Will Do You No Good! "

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# 1 Higghawker said, on August 4th, 2006 at 12:44 am

John, You are correct!

The word rapture isn’t even in the Bible.

This is a total mis-understanding of the Scriptures. Jesus has fullfiled all prophecy. It ended when he died on the cross. Mt:5:17: Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil.

What is really sad is many many people would rather beleive the “Left Behind” fiction, than study the Bible.

Most rapture believers confuse the destruction of Jerusalem, with the end of the world: Matt. 24 Just as the Jews of that time mis-understood, many people today make the same mistake!

# 2 John Paradox said, on August 4th, 2006 at 1:10 am

Everybody wants to go to heaven
but nobody wants to die.

Old song lyrics.. so appropriate

J/P=?

# 3 John Schumann said, on August 4th, 2006 at 2:05 am

Pretty strange stuff; there’s a killer app. here somewhere.

# 4 Smartalix said, on August 4th, 2006 at 3:17 am

I believe it was Barnum who once said something along the lines of that it was a sin to allow a fool to keep their money.

Anybody want to buy a screensaver that blinks the rapture index, updated in real-time? Only $19.99 per month!

# 5 Esteban said, on August 4th, 2006 at 4:10 am

I like how the website has highs and lows like a weather forecast. Maybe they should make a metric undex for non-US readers., like 158 rapture index = 1469 kiloraptures (kR).

# 6 RTaylor said, on August 4th, 2006 at 4:16 am

The Apostle Paul was convinced the world would end in his lifetime. This resulted in his frenzied travels and ministry. His timing was wrong also. There is a morbid fascination for an apocalypse that has always appealed to those with a certain personality. They seemed to be more inthralled with the damnation of others than their personal salvation. The older I get the more appeal Buddhism has.

# 7 Esteban said, on August 4th, 2006 at 4:21 am

One more thing, did you guys read the FAQ? These guys have every single question about faith mapped out with simple one paragraph answers. Like “Is Christianity better than other religions? The guys says yes, Or, “Is it okay to say ‘gosh’ or darn’? To which the website replies that it’s not a hell-worthy sin, but it should be avoided nonetheless. Curiously enough, the FAQ on masturbation is surprisingly progressive, giving a “nobody’s perfect” answer. Weird.

# 8 Tim Champ said, on August 4th, 2006 at 4:42 am

Hey John – you should be right in with these guys – they oppose the Patriot Act too! They consider it movement towards the mark of the beast.

I’m a rapture believing Christian, but one thing I know for sure – the Bible says we cannot know when it will happen, but instead should always be prepared to meet our maker. Not by killing the infidels (ala Muslims), but instead by sharing our faith.

These guys seem mostly harmless to me though, and not worthy of the ridicule leveled at them. They even say that they don’t want to force you to believe what they say. (Which is good, cause it is a central precept of Jesus’ teaching – it has to be a free will choice of the heart, not the choice at the end of a sword)

Anyway, there are much better people to ridicule – or did we forget about Mel Gibson and the Iranian President calling for a new holocaust to eradicate Isreal?

# 9 Sagrilarus said, on August 4th, 2006 at 5:09 am

I was on the beta test for the Left Behind video game and let me tell you IT ROCKS! Go for the plasma rifle in the trunk of the police car in front of the Mormon Temple.

# 10 Dennis said, on August 4th, 2006 at 5:39 am

For those that feel they will be raptured: Where in any bible does it state this? Plainly, without some sort of interpretive index of what “is truly being said”? It doesn’t. This RAPTURE belief was propagated in the late fifties to increase revival sales. No other form of religion believes in this, to include the people supposedly chosen (the persons of Jewish faith, being the only “true children of GOD:”). ASK a Rabbi, Priest or even a mullah. They will tell you plainly that GOD has already made himself known.
I find this whole concept of wanting more from an “after-Life” pathetic and sad. Why not make the MSOT of the one you are in? Rather than “preparing for the life to come”.

Of course, these are also the people that feel the earth is only 6k yrs old, and that man walked with Dinosaurs…. And the earth revolves around the sun…. and is flat….and that there is an invisible friend that actually cares about such nothings…..

# 11 asperante said, on August 4th, 2006 at 6:26 am

If the end of times is here… why pre-order??? you will be dead before you get it

# 12 James Hill said, on August 4th, 2006 at 6:31 am

So you’re saying I should put more faith in the Vista release schedule than the Rapture index? They both have about the same rate of change.

# 13 Noam Sane said, on August 4th, 2006 at 10:09 am

All I know is, the ‘upskirt’ crowd is gonna love the Rapture.

# 14 John said, on August 4th, 2006 at 3:59 pm

Let these crazy people think what they will. Rapture theology that they embrace is not founded upon scriptue that they embrace as scripture, and is a very very reacent theology from the early 1830s. Thus the majority of Christians have not embraced nor do embrace this theology, yet the most vocal Christians like to shout it out and make everyone think it is a normall Christian theology… I have no problem with them believing it, but when they try (on purpose or not) to make it l;ook like a standared Christian theology I do mind. GERR

# 15 Mike Voice said, on August 4th, 2006 at 4:24 pm

5 Maybe they should make a metric undex for non-US readers., like 158 rapture index = 1469 kiloraptures (kR).

11 If the end of times is here… why pre-order??? you will be dead before you get it

12 So you’re saying I should put more faith in the Vista release schedule than the Rapture index? They both have about the same rate of change.

Thank You, for the laughs.

Kiloraptures (kR) = LOL

# 16 ChrisMac said, on August 4th, 2006 at 8:15 pm

how many kiloraptures (kR) does it take to keep this zepplin afloat?

# 17 JimS said, on August 5th, 2006 at 3:31 am

Rapture Index Hits 158!! Give Your Money Away, It Will Do You No Good!

Bingo! John, I believe that you have hit on a wonderful way to screw with those rapture folks, for fun and money.

All we have to do is set up our own pro-rapture website. A website for the ‘true’ believers. People who understand that God knows not only what they say, God knows that which is in their minds and hearts.

When Jesus returns, he isn’t going to waste his time rapturing the non-believers, or those that can’t make up their own mind. Jesus is coming to save the ‘True Believers’ the ones that know deep down in their hearts what the bible promises us. The signs are set, the day of judgment is upon us, the rapture is emanate. In fact, many people believe that the rapture has already started. Haven’t you noticed the recent increase in missing people in the news?

[Edited -- pls read comment guidelines]

# 18 OhForTheLoveOf said, on August 5th, 2006 at 9:20 am

Has anyone read the rest of the rapture site?

I am told again and again to be respectful of the differences between all of us and bla bla bla…

But these people are loons. Crazy. Cuckoo for CocoPuffs. Nutbags. Insane in the membrane. Looped. Damaged. Whacked out on Jesus juice. Freaks. Several sandwiches short of a picnic. Fred Rogers and Charlie Manson all rolled into one. Drunk on the Kool-Aid. Not all there. Struck by the glaze. Queer as three dollar bills. Should I go on?

This world is full of political ideologies, religions, dogmas, etc… But if you want to be taken seriously, you gotta be serious. Reading these articles are like reading the prose of little children with unusually good grammar.

I’m sorry… But I have to reserve the limited amount of respect I have to share for people who at least have semi-valid worldviews. I mean, I’d rather spend a week in a cabin with James Hill than to take an hour over lunch to hang with these Bible buddies.

# 19 William K. Wolfrum said, on August 5th, 2006 at 10:37 am

Has anyone read the rest of the [rapture, scientology, catholic, baptist, hindu, druid, judaism, sikh, buddhism, tao, shinto, mormon, pagan, rastafari, jehovah witness, jainism, zoroastrian, etc.] site?

I am told again and again to be respectful of the differences between all of us and bla bla bla…

# 20 Louise Norman said, on August 5th, 2006 at 11:14 am

The now-famous “Rapture Index” is helping to fulfill the most important and most focused on “sign” in Matthew 24: DECEPTION. If the RI would add up the total numerical value of its own deception, it would self-destruct! Actually it should be called the “Second Advent Index” since its “precursors” are fulfilled during the tribulation and point to only the final down-to-earth advent and not to a supposed “pretrib” rapture that no pre-1830 church ever taught. At the same time, RI inventor Todd Strandberg declares that the “pretrib” rapture is “signless” – which is believable if “precursors” can’t be signs! (Reading “Pretrib Rapture Diehards,” “Thomas Ice (Bloopers),” “Open Letter to Todd Strandberg,” “Pretrib Hypocrisy,” and “Appendix F: Thou Shalt Not Steal” on Google or Yahoo engines can be mighty stimulating and illuminating! ) Louise

# 21 OhForTheLoveOf said, on August 5th, 2006 at 1:20 pm

#19 – #Has anyone read the rest of the [rapture, scientology, catholic, baptist, hindu, druid, judaism, sikh, buddhism, tao, shinto, mormon, pagan, rastafari, jehovah witness, jainism, zoroastrian, etc.] site?

Comment by William K. Wolfrum — 8/5/2006 @ 10:37 am

I hear you and yes. No. It’s true. It’s not true… Sometimes. maybe.

Every relative I have on my mother’s side is a Jehova’s Witness. So I’ll make no apology when I say that is a religion of idiots. Scientologists are likely to be about as dumb. I thought Zoroastrians died off over 2000 years ago, but maybe I’m wrong. But anyone looking objectively cannot make a blanket statement about every belief system. Most Catholics, Protastants, Islamists, Hindus, etc., are actually pretty reasonable people. They are much like most atheists in that regard.

Yes. The guy with a bent against Jews can say what i said about rapture fetishists about Jews, but he’s wrong. Opinions and views are not equal. We are not all equal. Quite frankly, some of us just aren’t smart enough to sit at the big table, and that is just the way it is, and if people are sad at the small table, I’m sorry, but you’ll sit there until you are smart enough to move up here with us, which you’ll probably never be, but that’s just too damn bad.

I have no more time for sparing feelings. Some belief systems are stupid beyond imagining and need to be shut out because all of our futures depend on it. It isn’t just evolution vs. creationism or stem cell research, which are pretty important. It’s life and death. As I type, missiles are being exchanged between Hezbola and Isreal, gunfire between the United States and extremists Muslims in Iraq. Fred White is marching around the funerals of American servicemen with gay bashing signs. And if I am to believe certain sources, there are God Squad believers in our own government who seem to want to hasten armegeddon to fulfil rapture fantasies. The imaginary gods of the world are making innocent people die.

These nuts need to be marginalized and through discourse, not violence, erradicated. They are threatening my children’s very future. I won’t say we need to discard the idea of being politically correct because I believe the terminology “politically correct” is just a BS term that the right uses against the left like a Klansmen uses a racial slur against blacks. But I do not want a big tent. We don’t need everyone to come together. We need serious minds to come together and if you aren’t in the tent, well, too bad. Pray on your own time, there are real issues that need addressed and these kooks have proven that they just don’t have the cranial muscle to help get the job done.

And by the way… If anyone out there who fits the rapture nut mold doesn’t like being called stupid, then I suggest they stop being stupid.

# 22 William K. Wolfrum said, on August 5th, 2006 at 5:09 pm

21. There’s the story, which may be true, may be urban legend of the atheist saying to the believer “You know how there are so many different beliefs and gods out there, but you just believe in the one? Well, I only believe in one less than you do.”

“I have no more time for sparing feelings. Some belief systems are stupid beyond imagining and need to be shut out because all of our futures depend on it.”

We only disagree on one word – where you say some, I say all. I would say the vast majority of all faithful are good people, and I wish them nothing but happiness. But I no longer really feel the need to respect any type of invented belief system, nor feel the need to apologize if that hurts the feelings of a “believer.”

–WKW

# 23 Gene said, on August 29th, 2006 at 3:42 am

First of all, you must understand that in the last days scoffers will come, scoffing and following their own evil desires. They will say, “Where is this ‘coming’ he promised? Ever since our fathers died, everything goes on as it has since the beginning of creation.”

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