DU’s 2007 Predictions For The Coming Year

Published on January 1st, 2007

What, you thought WE were going to do the work for you? HA! Think again, DUers. We’re too hung over this New Years morn to do that. We want to hear from you what you think will happen this year. Let your minds range over all subjects from technology to science to politics to TV show season finales to anything else that you think will be different a year from now. We’ll award a prize at the end of the year for the prognosticator who scores a bullseye with the most unlikely item to come true: our undying thanks! Now get to it!

35 users responded in " DU’s 2007 Predictions For The Coming Year "

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# 1 James said, on January 1st, 2007 at 6:28 am

Dvorak.org will continue to blatantly display it’s disdain for Christianity.

# 2 RTaylor said, on January 1st, 2007 at 6:33 am

Dvorak.org will continue to blatantly display it’s disdain for just about everything.

# 3 Lindsay said, on January 1st, 2007 at 6:40 am

James will continue to whine and feel put upon

# 4 HMeyers said, on January 1st, 2007 at 6:53 am

I predict that a year from now, everyone forgets about this contest and no prize is ever awarded.

# 5 NSILMike said, on January 1st, 2007 at 6:54 am

In 12 months, Uncle Dave will forget to “award a prize at the end of the year for the prognosticator who scores a bullseye with the most unlikely item to come true”

# 6 WestervilleSlim said, on January 1st, 2007 at 8:03 am

The Sony Reader will be the Christmas gift of the year for adults in 2007.
Unfortunately, Sony will “accidentally” put onerous and buggy DRM into it that will allow spammers to insert porn snippets onto every page of every book on the device.

# 7 Jägermeister said, on January 1st, 2007 at 8:29 am

1. DU will be banned in at least 75% of all Arabic countries.
2. Japan and China will be intimate.
3. Bush becomes Time magazine’s man of the year.
4. Britney Spears will have married and divorced two more times, getting a new kid with each hubby.
5. To Bush’s and Pat Robertson’s horror, the second coming turns out to be Hugo Chávez. Both resign their Christian belief and Bush decides to invade Venezuela, just to nail Chávez to a cross and watch him slowly die in the sun.
6. Sylvester Stallone will sign up for Rambo V.
7. Bruce Willis will sign up for Die Even Harder.
8. NASA will crash something expensive.
9. China will not threaten Taiwan this year, but just like Nazi Germany, they wait until after the Olympics to settle the score.
10. John C. Dvorak will become an evangelist for Linux.

There you go…

# 8 Walley said, on January 1st, 2007 at 8:48 am

Nobody takes this site seriously anymore. More Dvorak and less of the flunkies would help. It just seems like John doesn’t post here as much as he once did.

# 9 Mr. Fusion said, on January 1st, 2007 at 9:20 am

I predict Uncle Dave will remain the handsome, devilish, rogue he is known to be.

His already impressive wit and bag of tricks will continue to grow and amaze us mere mortals with originality and ingenuity.

His benevolence and charity will continue to be the envy of self anointed and appointed “Gods”.

His knowledge of computers and digital tech crap will leave all of his regular readers wishing they the intelligence Uncle Dave has in his left pinkie.

I’m not sure but, … Uncle Dave gets Osama bin Laden’s 72 virgins. My tea leaves could be a little messy on this one, I could be reading them wrong.

His boss will no longer look at him disapprovingly when Dave calls him an a**hole to his face.

The blond “look, dolphins” chick from the Vonnage commercial will want to have his child.

All snowstorms will miss his driveway.

Mr. Fusion will forgive Uncle Dave the $5 he owes him.

He will award a 42” flat screen TV to whomever can debase them self the most in this contest.

# 10 pedro said, on January 1st, 2007 at 9:30 am

#7 About your fifth prediction: it’s more like wishful thinking, but sadly unlikely to happen.

Now, to my own:

The current trend of limiting individual rights worldwide will get stronger.

Socialist will keep supporting this new trend of socialist dictators (with various degrees from real socialist wanna be’s to the obvious banana republic communist dictator) that were once not allow to raise in south america with various reasons being waived. Among those reasons: getting back at the US (still thankful for being saved at WW II?)

Nuclear weapons on rogue countries will keep on developing.

Dem’s wil greenlight more troops for Iraq.

My country is going to keep devolving into the 18 century. The easy one’s on this department are the disappearance of private education & private healthcare & the slow destruction of all political parties in favor of the great new “socialist” party. BTW, nice touch by CNN or Foxnews that in an interview to a venezuelan congressman, he specified it was a pro government congressman he was interviewing, as if there are any opposition congressmen right now.

Extremist Islamism on Britain will keep getting stronger (I know, easy one)

Vista will be slowly & sheepishly adopted by common users and MS will keep their morphing goal of changing computers from being a tool for running programs that the user decides it can help him/her to being a mere “appliance” (like Bill Gates always preached) were the only things able to run are those approved by MS and their partners. Expect more of this trend of the OS serving big company interest rather than computer user’s interest to rise since the user’s themselves don’t give a rats ass.

No big news (the one’s that change trends) on solar energy nor hydrogen cars (which is close to death, unless a miracle happens)

A dual format BR/HDDVD will come this year. Most likely from China.

The part of the Dem’s that keeps believing in befriending latin american goons will keep doing so without open their eyes as to how harmful this is for the US. Expect illegal aliens number to keep rising and when this start getting higher level jobs, thing will begin to deteriorate like quality of public service, private companies caring even less for customer support (those that still give inland customer support) which will be awful by itself. Remember, those illegal aliens, in a big percentage, are our equivalent of your white trash, that’s why illegal aliens see the legal immigrants as enemies.

Think that’s it for now

# 11 Haywood Jablome said, on January 1st, 2007 at 10:12 am

#1 – Now why do you think there is disdain? Just because you think your imaginary friend is more worthy of worship than someone elses imaginary friend doesn’t necessarily mean that anyone would show disdain for your imaginary friend. I have no disdain for your superstitions. I am offended by the hypocrits, the televangelists, Father Child Molester and such.

I’d like to invite you to worship my imaginary friend at The Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster – http://www.venganza.org/

# 12 Higghawker said, on January 1st, 2007 at 10:16 am

Higghawkers predictions:
1. Om edges out Sebastian as crankiest geek.
2. The Apple phone outsells Nokia/Motorola
3. All congressmen in good faith decide to send their kids to Iraq.
4. The peso overtakes the dollar causing all illegals to stay home.
5. Vista to vulnerable, Gates uses Mac OS.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhh, I feel better!!! Enjoy 2007

# 13 Chaplain Meat Ball said, on January 1st, 2007 at 10:25 am

#1 – why do you think everyone has disdain for your imaginary friend? Do you think your imaginary friend is more worthy of worship than my imaginary friend? I invite you to join the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster at http://www.venganza.org/.

There are no hypocrits, no money grubbing televangelists and best of all, no Father Child Molester.

# 14 Uncle Dave said, on January 1st, 2007 at 10:26 am

#2: We don’t have disdain everything. Only the stupid, petty and Bush-esque.

#4, 5: You’re right, I do have a bad memory.

#7: Your #10 could happen. It’s if he were to evangelize for the Mac that would be miraculous.

Fusion: You sure know how to sweet talk a guy. Now just keep it up for another 364 days and I just might have that 42″ TV for you. It may need a little repair like a new, well, everything except the power cord, but right now, it’s all yours. And as for that $5, that’s mighty sporting of you old chap since I don’t off hand remember loaning it to you. Just send me a check for $995. Forgiving that will go a long way towards your TV!

# 15 OmarThe Alien said, on January 1st, 2007 at 11:21 am

Global marketers and global consumers will continue to feed each other’s widening disconnect from global resouces. We will eventually reach a point where global infrastructure and redistribution systems will collapse, triggering worldwide anarchy and fuedalism. There will be food riots in the cities, and the smart ones will head for the countryside, and carve out their own little fiefdoms.
All this will happen, but should I predict it for this year? Hell, why not? It’s gonna happen, we just don’t know when.
To be clear: World-wide anarchy and/or fuedalism would not by themselves be a bad thing. I would strive to run my little fiefdom in as fair and just manner as possible, as long as I had the best tent and a few young and pretty ladies to maintain it for me.

# 16 Jägermeister said, on January 1st, 2007 at 11:23 am

#14 #7: Your #10 could happen.

John would receive the halo from Linus Torvalds himself if that happens… Imagine JCD with a halo on Cranky Geeks…

As for It’s if he were to evangelize for the Mac that would be miraculous.… that would be pushing the predictions.

# 17 tallwookie said, on January 1st, 2007 at 11:43 am

I predict that the world will change, that the greens will bitch about “global warming”, the industrialists will ignore them, the news media will try to spin it, and most people will ignore them.

Halo 3 will come out and i’ll pwn u all.

# 18 James Hill said, on January 1st, 2007 at 11:48 am

Technology

- Apple’s next generation iPod products (phone, widescreen) will dominate the handheld device market.

- Apple’s iTV will have moderate success, mainly due to trickle down from the iPod market. Apple’s online video distribution business will make money, however.

- Core 2 Quadro (or whatever the hell they’re called) processors from Intel will not be a major factor in the market, slowing down the market’s rush on multicore-everything.

- Series 3 Tivos and HTPCs with CableCards will fail due to poor marketing and product knowledge.

- DirecTV will have 50+ national HDTV channels on MPEG4 by the end of the year, surpassing Dish Network… and making Cable look like a joke (again).

- The Wii will reach 7 million units sold in the United States, 30 million globally. The PS3 will do a third of that business, and still be (slightly) behind the 360 by year’s end.

Politics

- Iraqi’s won’t believe Saddam is dead.

- Democrats won’t believe the American people actually expect them to fix the War in Iraq, considering that’s what won them the election.

- No one will care about any of the Presidental candidates by the end of the year, leading to a number of “Can a Mormon really win the Presidency?” stories about Romney.

- Republican insiders will laugh their asses off over the above three, and not bother to do anything else.

Question: Who wants to start a “Dvorak Uncensored Dead Pool”? That would be a game this community could really rally behind.

# 19 James Hill said, on January 1st, 2007 at 11:50 am

Oh, I forgot one.

- Mr. Fusion and Haywood Jablome will still be my bitches.

# 20 Haywood Jablome said, on January 1st, 2007 at 12:32 pm

I was just in the bathroom and gave birth to another James Hill. Unfortunately it drowned so I guess he wins the dead pool.

# 21 James Hill said, on January 1st, 2007 at 12:35 pm

#20 – Another poor attempt at a comeback by an inferior mind. Keep trying, bitch. I enjoy the worship.

# 22 Jägermeister said, on January 1st, 2007 at 12:52 pm

#20 LOL!

# 23 Haywood Jablome said, on January 1st, 2007 at 12:56 pm

[edited: violation of blog guidelines -- enough with the personal attacks]

# 24 James said, on January 1st, 2007 at 2:09 pm

Japan will become a nuclear power and, with a few new hawks in power, will make a push for more territory. Which will garner them praise for removing North Korea from the map. The US will feel threatened that it took Japan less than a year to replace the NK government with a more stable one while we are still working on Iraq.

# 25 TJGeezer said, on January 1st, 2007 at 2:37 pm

I hate to break it to you all but this is a waste of time. Back in, I forget, ‘92 or some year like that I voted for John’s chili at the Comdex chili cook-off because he promised pocket protectors to all who did. He never sent it, he just kept telling me it was in the mail. Heed my warning, #9 – you will debase yourself all year and get “it’s in the mail” for your trouble. You just can’t depend on nothin’. It’s tragic, really.

Does that count as a prediction?

# 26 Mark said, on January 1st, 2007 at 4:00 pm

Hillary will announce her candidacy, and then in a surprise move, will name her husband “Wild Bill Clinton” as her running mate.

# 27 pedro said, on January 1st, 2007 at 4:07 pm

I’m not doing it for a supposed prize anyway

# 28 tallwookie said, on January 1st, 2007 at 4:35 pm

lol snap
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User_talk:82.148.97.69

# 29 Mr. Fusion said, on January 1st, 2007 at 4:44 pm

#14, I gave that $995 to the Vonnage girl to have your child. Apparently she still owed on the implants.

In another prediction, … a lot of prognosticators will suggest the sky is falling. The same sky that fell in 2006, 2005, 2004, 2003, 2002, 2001, 2000, 1999, …

# 30 joshua said, on January 1st, 2007 at 10:17 pm

#28….Tallwookie….what the hell was that link all about?

# 31 Roc Rizzo said, on January 2nd, 2007 at 7:55 am

My main prediction is that after considerable escalation in Iraq,
1) the US will go to war with Iran
and
2) the Republicans, so fed up with Bush’s bad attitude, and ill conceived war, will help impeach him.

# 32 Globalista said, on January 2nd, 2007 at 8:54 am

1) Microsoft will ship VISTA Service Pack 1 before the end of 2007.
2) Linux will splinter and die when Linus decides to retire and start a charitable foundation.
3) There will be research showing that the old 6 shours of TV viewing a day per person has been replaced by 1 hour of e-mailing. 1 hour of chatting , 1 hour of game playing, 1 hour of you tubing, 1 hour of blogging and 1 hour of my spacing. Of course most of this activity will be done at work on your employers time.
4) Sony will be split into a seperate entertainment company and a seperate consumer electronics company. The current holders of Sony stock will get shares in each company. The hardware company will bring out a device that infringes on the copyrights held by the entertainment company and the two companies will sue each other.
5.) Blue Ray and HD DVD will be rendered by irrelevant by1080P downloads.
6.) 1080P will be superceded by the 2160P displays.
7) Wimax will start a pilot deployment but no one will care.
Jeb Bush will announce his candidancy for the Republican nomination.
9) Arnold Swarzenager (sp?) will lobby to amend the U.S. constitution so that foreign born citizens can be elected President. If he does not succeed look for one of his children to be groomed to enter politics.
10) Iran will join the nuclear family with technology bought from Pakistan and North Korea.

# 33 pedro said, on January 2nd, 2007 at 10:24 am

#31 said: “2) the Republicans, so fed up with Bush’s bad attitude, and ill conceived war, will help impeach him”

So that was what the guy holding the impeach banner on the rose parade meant.

#32 your 10th item is not a prediction, it’s been happening for at least a year and a half already

# 34 Lee said, on January 2nd, 2007 at 5:38 pm

In a surprise announcement or test, Singapore becomes part of the nuclear club with a rapidly constructed, but mature, nuclear arsenal. Regional instability will be the reason given for their change in policy.

I’m no prognosticator, but this is fun. I’ll stick with one prediction (to minimize the embarrassment).

# 35 Joe said, on January 6th, 2007 at 9:40 am

I CANT BELIVE YOU ALL MISSED THE MOST IMPORTANT PREDICTION!
MJ, The King of POP, Michael Jackson will release a new album that will revolutionize the goverment.

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