Your Honour, I would like to remind the court that my client is wealthy and well connected.

Seems that Scooter Libby has become the folk hero for millions of illegal immigrants in the United States.

According to reports, immigration officials across the country have been deluged in recent days by illegal aliens willing to plead guilty to perjury in exchange for a deal similar to Mr. Libby’s.

Tony Snow has decided that it’s important to note the difference between Scooter and the rest of the unwashed masses.

But “not so fast,” says White House spokesman Tony Snow, who today tried to pour cold water on the plans of illegal immigrants hoping to follow in Mr. Libby’s footsteps: “Before these folks expect to get Scooter’s deal, they should ask themselves, ‘Can I cut a check for $250,000?’”

There you have it folks. $250,000 is the price of freedom in the US.



  1. Arrius says:

    Is Libby an illegal alien? Did I miss something here? This story reeks of flith and nonsense. Million of illegals have contacted lawyers days after Libby’s incident? Bullshit. Have any of these supposed illegals even testified in a court so that the could have commited perdury? Have any of these supposed illegals served this nation 1/10th as much as Libby has? This looks like a manufactored story to me, the authors begining statement says it all. Its an attempt to jab at Bush.

  2. rev says:

    #1 rtfa. “satire / the borowitz report”

  3. Mister Justin says:

    1,

    Web exclusive satire. It’s RIGHT IN THE FIRST LINE OF THE ARTICLE!

    geez.

  4. Mike Voice says:

    #1 Its an attempt to jab at Bush.

    Ya think?

    #1 Have any of these supposed illegals served this nation 1/10th as much as Libby has?

    Feels like you’re pulling my leg – but I’ll bite: Since there are supposedly millions of them here, I’m sure there are at least a few who have.

  5. Arrius says:

    Yea my mistake on that point Justin, this guy tries to be funny I have since learned.

  6. OhForTheLoveOf says:

    #1 – Have any of these supposed illegals served this nation 1/10th as much as Libby has?

    Unless Libby worked a few seasons as a migrant farm worker, then I say yes. In fact, most illegal aliens have served this nation far far more than a 1/10th as much as Libby.

  7. natefrog says:

    #6,

    On the flip side of the coin, few of the illegal aliens have hurt America even 1/10th as badly as ol’ Scooter…

  8. MikeR says:

    Not a bad idea – sell 36 million citizenship papers at $250,000 a pop and the US national debt would be retired.

  9. hhopper says:

    I think we’d have to take IOUs.

  10. Mr. Fusion says:

    Have any of these supposed illegals served this nation 1/10th as much as Libby has?

    True, how many supposed illegals have connived with President Cheney, plotted with Prince Karl Rove, schemed with Madam Harriet Meirs, conspired with El Al Gonzolas, or got Mark Rich a Pardon. Now that is service worthy of paying much more then $250,000 !!!


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