Sweden seems to have been gripped in a furious spurt of public masturbation recently. They had the serial masturbator, then there was the ‘bus incident’, and now this in which it was earlier reported that the man explained “that he felt an overwhelming calm wash over him when he approached women’s bicycles and smelled the handlebars.”

Fetishist convicted for molesting bicycles

A 40-year-old man from Östersund in northern Sweden was convicted on Friday on three counts of sexual molestation for satisfying himself on the saddles of women’s bicycles.

The man confessed that in three separate cases, he slashed the tires of bicycles belonging to women he found attractive, and then proceeded to rub up against the bicycle seats for sexual gratification, reports the Östersunds-Posten (ÖP) newspaper.

  1. Jägermeister says:

    Doing a saddle must feel better than doing a picnic table… not that I’m planning to get into those activities.

  2. OvenMaster says:

    Maybe he saw this video:

  3. Mr. Gawd Almighty says:

    True story,

    Back last century whilst away learning at an institute of higher learning (that is where you learn higher stuff) we had an incident on campus. I didn’t actually witness it but I did see the city police driving away with someone in the back seat. (the police usually put their suspects in the back seat and donuts in the front)

    It seems the said perpetrator had been going around to all the bicycles in the bike rack and sniffing the seats of girls bikes.

    A short time later whilst doing some homework (getting high) with a group studying the same subject (they were getting high too) the matter came up. It was decided that the guy might have been onto a good idea.

    Why steal undies from a clothes line when they have been washed and have no lingering freshness to them. Go for the best, fresh stuff.

    Ah, but those were the days of higher education. So we tried it. Now I’m on a list and can’t live within 1000 feet of a school.

  4. bobbo says:

    #3–Gawd–sounds like the penalty is too narrow to me. Shouldn’t the restriction be not allowed within 1000 feet of a bicycle seat?? Maybe that would only give you a few spots in Nevada to live–but thems the breaks.

    Meanwhile, I do have to wonder, whats wrong with smelling bicycle seats? Not my thing, but who cares?

    Here’s my true story. Sitting in a bar with my 4-5 buds and one wife. Wife goes to the bathroom. When she is out of sight, the two guys on either side of her chair lower their heads rapidly to smell her seat. They cracked heads together audibly, not knowing the other was going to do it to. We all laughed and thought it was a good joke, including the married dude.

    Am I supporting the spread of perversion and female disrespect by this liberal attitude, or is it different strokes for different strokes, not sweating the small stuff?

    [Har! – ed.]

  5. Daniel says:

    Uh, I don’t think the girl in the picture is Swedish. Sheesh, no wonder why people can’t trust online news these days.

  6. Ron Larson says:

    One time in Santa Ana (Orange County) I was behind a pickup truck that had this bumper sticker “I”d rather be a girl’s bicycle seat”.

    I couldn’t believe someone would drive around with that. I can only conclude that someone else slapped that on his truck as a joke. At least I hope so. What a weirdo.

  7. The Warden says:

    I know what can cure this problem. Just have these sickos slowly read through a medical text book with pictures on Gynecological diseases. That will scare em straight!

  8. the commodore says:

    I wonder if this rash of minor public perversions is related to the general decrease in testosterone among western males over that last few years? I mean if the guy had more balls wouldn’t he have the nerve to just get a girlfriend and satisfy the lusts? People spend too much time alone I guess.

  9. andy says:

    9, dvorak has the same testosterone theory. has something to do with vegans.

  10. Videos like #2 would make pervs stay home and watch YouTube.

  11. hhopper says:

    Uncle Dave, you’ve been hanging around SN too much.


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