Costco Pawns Off Fake Cheesecake for Thanksgiving

Published on November 28th, 2008

We had 26 family and friends for Thanksgiving. People brought a dish, dessert, bottle of wine — you name it. As we were throwing out garbage today, we ran across this example of fake killer food:

Not only does it contain no cheese, but they did include artery-clogging partially hydrogenated oils and blubber-enhancing high-fructose corn syrup. AND a list of chemicals and faux-foods that would do my college organic chemistry lab credit. Oh yes, if you look carefully (click on photo for larger image) you will see “cheese culture” right after the killer fats and under the section for “2% or less”

That ain’t cheese folks. It’s a crime to call this beaker-load of chemicals and processed crap “cheesecake.”

The fact that I didn’t eat any is one more thing to be thankful for!

42 users responded in " Costco Pawns Off Fake Cheesecake for Thanksgiving "

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# 1 ibdense said, on November 28th, 2008 at 8:11 pm

The first two sets of ingredients could rate as cheese as far as I am concerned. Cheese is milk and cream. Also, whey is cheese.

Take a cooking class!

# 2 Jim said, on November 28th, 2008 at 8:12 pm

Umm… you’re aware that cheese is cultured milk and cream, right? Which is probably why they are #1 and 2 in the list.

Just because the label breaks components down practically to their atomic constituents doesn’t mean standard things aren’t there. Most likely someone in their analysis lab just went crazy or was paid by the word.

# 3 Mister Mustard said, on November 28th, 2008 at 8:28 pm

American cheesecake is generally made with cream cheese, which is not cultured. Still, I’m not buying that “pasteurized milk and cream” = cream cheese.

Hey, at least it’s nice and big! A 5.19lb cake seems pretty hefty to me.

# 4 OOOOPS said, on November 28th, 2008 at 8:50 pm

Peanuts are not tree nuts. They are legumes.

# 5 Uncle Patso said, on November 28th, 2008 at 9:00 pm

Just try and find a pie or cheesecake with an ingredients list of less than 2K characters in a store these days… (And I wonder how many of the ingredients came from China.)

# 6 BigBoyBC said, on November 28th, 2008 at 9:04 pm

What is sold in supermarkets as cream cheese is mixture of cultured milk and just enough cream to meet federal standards along with all sorts of gums and stabilizers to make it appear as real cream cheese. If you used the real stuff, it would be really expensive and have no shelf life.

We actually had one of those Kirkland pumpkin cheese cakes yeaterday, it wasn’t bad. The homemade pies were better.

# 7 dusan maletic said, on November 28th, 2008 at 9:08 pm

@1,2,3: By legal mumbo-jumbo real (or almost-real) cheese is required to be mentioned in the content as “cheese”. The fact that it is not mentioned on the label points to the likely fact that the “cheese” used in making this product was particularly fake, containing less than 50% of anything that can legally be called “cheese”. See

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Processed_cheese

Particularly revealing sentence:

“Due to the processing and additives, some softer varieties cannot legally be labeled as “cheese” in many countries, including the United States”

So, the original poster is quite correct. Likely nothing in that cheesecake was a real cheese but mixture of milk, cream, additives and processed oils that can’t be legally called “cheese”.

# 8 lperdue said, on November 28th, 2008 at 9:42 pm

#1 and #2 … I MAKE cheese at home. That’s a bit more intensive than a cooking lesson.

Milk is an ingredient but it is NOT cheese. Milk undergoes significant compositional changes before becoming cheese.

#6 Yes, partially hydrogenated fats are also used for extended shelf life, but they’re worse for you than non-synthetic fats. This concoction should not be called Cheesecake.

This is a synthetic, cheesecake-like dessert, but the harried shopper can be deceived into thinking it is cheesecake. BAH!

# 9 Hugh Ripper said, on November 28th, 2008 at 9:45 pm

A year or so ago a workmate of mine offered me one of the pack of ’sesame bars’ he’d bought down the local mini-supermarket. As I opened one and took a bite, I happened to glance at the ‘nutritional’ information on the wrapper which, to my horror, listed lead and arsenic. I so wish I’d remembered to take a photo.

Yes, the sesame bars were made in China. While I do blame the Chinese for making these ‘death bars’, I mostly blame the fuckers who import and sell this shit.

# 10 Wolfie said, on November 28th, 2008 at 9:55 pm

All the while, locally owned bakeries are closing down because of people would rather have lower prices than quality goods. This person gets no sympathy from me (a high quality bakery owner)

# 11 Hugh Ripper said, on November 28th, 2008 at 10:16 pm

#11 I’m not sure it just lower prices. It also the convenience of getting everything from the one store. Personally, I prefer the inconvenience of going to a baker for bread and greengrocer for fruit and veg. Id never buy perishable stuff from a stupormarket by choice.

# 12 troublemaker said, on November 28th, 2008 at 10:45 pm

You’re buying food at Costo and you’re complaining about the quality of it?

LOL!!!

# 13 Kevin said, on November 28th, 2008 at 11:47 pm

Not sure about Kirkland food but we use some of their pans in the restaurant I work in, they are pretty nice quality.

# 14 hello! said, on November 29th, 2008 at 12:34 am

thats why people shop at whole foods guy!

# 15 Zybch said, on November 29th, 2008 at 12:57 am

Pasteurized milk and cream and cultured milk and cream. Hmm, that pretty much looks like the stuff in cheese to me.
Having said that, I’d never buy one of these hideous mass produced monstrosities.

# 16 RTaylor said, on November 29th, 2008 at 1:33 am

You can’t feed billions of people without highly processing foods. I have a friend that brags about being a localvore and growing her own organic foods. She pays about double for proteins from local organic farmers. This will not scale. You can’t have a half acre gardens and chickens in a large city, nor do many people have time to work it. The way things are going, the over population problem may soon be solved.

# 17 Uns4ne said, on November 29th, 2008 at 2:20 am

OP,

Your just now learning how to read labels. Beware, the rest of us have been dealing with this sort of thing since they started print’n em.

# 18 Cursor_ said, on November 29th, 2008 at 4:59 am

You have no sympathy from me.

If you could not be bothered to make a cheesecake from scratch you don’t deserve anything remotely like cheesecake.

Its not like cheesecake is hard to make.

Cursor_

# 19 waltersobchack said, on November 29th, 2008 at 5:20 am

*says in whiny Dvorak voice* “This is news?!?”

Newsflash!

Cream cheese is defined as a soft unripened cheese made from cream and milk.

Newsflash!

Cheese cake is defined as a cake made of sweetened cottage cheese or cream cheese, eggs, milk, sugar, and flavorings.

Now lets check those ingredients again….

And is anyone really that shocked that in a mass produced food product there are also less than 2% preservatives, gums, colorings and flavorings?

# 20 jescott418 said, on November 29th, 2008 at 5:20 am

It’s sad we have to add all these other ingredients. I think all the processed crap put into foods these days causes more harm then natural fats and oils. It’s because they are cheap that they are used.

# 21 Dallas said, on November 29th, 2008 at 5:52 am

Mmmm. Locust bean gum!!

If I were to consume 300 calories/Tbs of some cake, it better be the real deal. What surprises me the most is that this cake is perishable!

# 22 andrew said, on November 29th, 2008 at 5:58 am

my wife makes real cheesecake, i imagine most have never had such a thing. Real italian cheesecake doesn’t have cream cheese. It has a lot of ricotta cheese in it–and it is gooooood….
and of course much better than this costco thing

# 23 bobbo said, on November 29th, 2008 at 6:13 am

So what we have is a disagreement on taste and values, concerns, willingness to pay for different levels of processing, shelf life, ease==etc.

Lets all support truth in labeling and make our own choices.

Cheesecake is pretty simple to make at home and the nice thing is it is cheaper too. Still working on low-calorie crust and can’t quite get there.

# 24 mthrnite said, on November 29th, 2008 at 6:22 am

So, does it taste like cheesecake?

# 25 onomontapeia said, on November 29th, 2008 at 6:30 am

The date is the only thing you really need to worry about, if you start reading all your labels you’ll never eat anything processed again. I can’t believe they got $14 for it. There are frozen ones that are just as good and cheaper!

# 26 Tecban said, on November 29th, 2008 at 6:51 am

Making a five-pound cheesecake from scratch would easily cost you twice what you paid, plus at least an hour of your time.

This is the era of industrial food. It’s why food can be made cheaply and stored longer than ever before. It’s also why so many people are being attracted to locally sourced and organic foods – not that the “USDA organic” label necessarily means what people think it does, either.

If you ever saw the ingredients list for a fast food menu, you’d really flip out. Why are they adding dimethylpolysiloxane (an anti-foaming agent also found in caulk) to rice at Taco Bell and chicken at McDonalds?

Here are the ingredients for a grilled chicken breast at Burger King – pretty typical.

Chicken Breast with Rib Meat, Water, Seasoning (Maltodextrin, Salt, Sugar, Autolyzed Yeast Extract, Garlic Powder, Spices, Natural Flavors, Onion Powder, Modified Corn Starch, Chicken Fat, Chicken Powder, Chicken Broth, Disodium Guanylate and Disodium Inosinate, Citric Acid, Partially Hydrogenated Soybean Oil, Dehydrated Garlic, and Artificial Flavors.), Modified Corn Starch, Soybean Oil, Salt, Sodium Phosphates. Glazed with: Water, Seasoning [Maltodextrin, Salt, Sugar, Methylcellulose, Autolyzed Yeast Extract, Partially Hydrogenated Sunflower Oil, Modified Potato Starch, Fructose, Partially Hydrogenated Soybean Oil, Garlic Powder, Onion Powder, Dehydrated Garlic, Spices, Modified Corn Starch, Xanthan Gum, Natural Flavors, Disodium Guanylate and Disodium Inosinate, Chicken Fat, Carmel Color, Grill Flavor (from Partially Hydrogenated Soybean and Cottonseed Oil), Chicken Powder, Chicken Broth, Turmeric, Smoke Flavor, Annatto Extract, and Artificial Flavors], Soybean Oil.

# 27 Mr. Fusion said, on November 29th, 2008 at 7:02 am

#7, Dusan,

I couldn’t find any reference to the fact that “cheese” must be listed on a label as “cheese”. It did not appear in the list of foods that need not be broken down further.

However, since the regulations are quite complex and lengthy, maybe you could point out more specifically where this specific regulation might be hidden.

To everyone else.

Cheese is a manufactured food. Whether it is made in a huge factory of some sheep herder’s hut, it is still manufactured from basic ingredients.

# 28 Mister Mustard said, on November 29th, 2008 at 8:39 am

#22 – Andrew

>>my wife makes real cheesecake, i imagine most
>>have never had such a thing. Real italian
>>cheesecake doesn’t have cream cheese.

And I imagine most Italians have never had Japanese cheesecake, made with cornstarch and eggs. An most Japanese have never had German cheesecake, made with quark cheese. And most Germans have never had Greek cheesecake, made with mizithra cheese.

We’re in America, so we eat American cheesecake.

Besides, that Italian stuff with “rah-goot” is too dry.

# 29 Winston said, on November 29th, 2008 at 9:06 am

If that’s a of photo of your “cheesecake” it looks like nobody even touched it. If you’re throwing it away, you’re wasting “food.” Don’t you know there are children starving in China?

# 30 Greg Allen said, on November 29th, 2008 at 9:22 am

When you buy a “cheesecake” the size and weight of a manhole cover for $14 you getting what you deserve.

# 31 WingedWheeler said, on November 29th, 2008 at 10:01 am

Read A package of cream cheese….Sure looks like a cheese cake to me.

# 32 LKay said, on November 29th, 2008 at 10:23 am

I don’t like Costco cheesecakes in general… I like my cheesecakes with at least 4% more “Locust Bean Gum” than they put in…

# 33 Mister Mustard said, on November 29th, 2008 at 10:37 am

#32 – LKay

>> I like my cheesecakes with at least 4% more
>>“Locust Bean Gum” than they put in…

Who doesn’t?? Anything made with galactomannan vegetable gum (or any high molecular weight hydrocolloidal polysaccharide, for that matter) has got to be good. The more, the better.

If you can’t trust Costco to supply technosynth Frankenfoods, who CAN you trust?

# 34 Rich said, on November 29th, 2008 at 10:49 am

Enjoying cheesecake has never been so much work for me.

# 35 GoatHerderEd said, on November 29th, 2008 at 11:58 am

#4: “Peanuts are not tree nuts. They are legumes.” Hell Ya!!! Im allergic to tree nuts, if I got a dollar every time someone said “but it has peanuts in it” i would be a rich man. Education people! Get some

As far as the cheese cake goes; I’m sure it tastes damn good! maybe cheese cake is not the BEST name, but its close enough! The names Starbucks gives their drinks are not exactly what they are when compared to Italian cafes or definitions in the dictionary, but do most people care? No.

The best example I have come up with for strange ingredients is “Mechanically separated chicken” in Slim-Jims. yum!

# 36 bobbo said, on November 29th, 2008 at 12:08 pm

GoatHerderEd — You say: “The best example I have come up with for strange ingredients is “Mechanically separated chicken” in Slim-Jims. yum! /// No, the best has got to be: “Parts.”

# 37 peterinda said, on November 29th, 2008 at 3:27 pm

The ingredients of pumpkin cheesecake in a typical home made receipt are graham, cinnamon, butter, brown sugar, cream cheese, eggs, sugar, pumpkin, cream, nutmeg, ginger and salt.
In Addition to these home made cheesecake ingredients there can be found in a manufactured cheesecake enriched wheat flour, niacin, reduced iron, thiamin monitrate, riboflavin, folic acid, whey, soybean, cottonseed oils, carob bean gum, corn starch, sodium phosphat, guar gum, charrageenan, locus bean gum, conola oil, mono and oiglyceidis, soy lecitnin, beta carotene, polysorbate, artifical flovors, citric acid, sodium metabisulfite, sodium citrate, pectin, fd&c yellow and vitamim A.
palmitate.
Unfortunately these additional ingredients can not be found in anyones’ kitchen. Did I say unfortunately? I meant to say thank God.

# 38 Jimmyz said, on November 29th, 2008 at 4:22 pm

Welcome to costco…I love you

# 39 Cheezy Bits of Thanks said, on November 30th, 2008 at 3:36 am

I always half to laf when people think eating anything with cheese is healthy, even when it’s not full of chemicals, and are always thankful that they think they are thankful that they are thankful they have anything grateful to eat.

# 40 SnotLikeBlasterpoop said, on November 30th, 2008 at 8:02 am

MMM, looks tasty. Jut the right size too. 5lb = 1 serving.

# 41 turbo said, on November 30th, 2008 at 8:59 am

I’d eat that.

# 42 bobbo said, on November 30th, 2008 at 9:13 am

#37–peterinda, or anyone else with an opinion or knowledge==whats wrong with any of those extra ingredients?

It would educate us all as these items are found in most of our foods.

Homemade food is great but often they won’t keep past 3 days even in the refrigerator and in keeping they separate or turn colors. Whats wrong with additives that stop this and cause no harm?

There should be a line between Church and Kitchen.

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