» Letter From Apple CEO Steve Jobs — Sez He Has Hormone Problem Dvorak Uncensored: General interest observations and true web-log.

# 1 Zybch said, on January 5th, 2009 at 12:08 pm

Anyone believe this guy after he ripped that reporter guy a new one and called him a sleazebag then stated clearly that he had NO health problems at all?
Face it, Jobs is and has been telling porkies. Now, watch the stock price plummet.

# 2 Personality said, on January 5th, 2009 at 12:11 pm

They just drag his dead ass out of the coffin for press time.

# 3 The DON said, on January 5th, 2009 at 12:51 pm

The iDiet – priceless

# 4 Zybch said, on January 5th, 2009 at 1:11 pm

Replace:
“a hormone imbalance that has been “robbing” me of the proteins my body needs to be healthy.”

With:
“I’m a dumbass, ignorant, stupid vegan and my severely uncompromisingly limited diet cannot provide me with the proteins my body needs to be healthy.
Also I refuse to see doctors till I’m almost dead because they will tell me my nutritional choices are killing me and NOBODY tells ME what to do, for I am the almighty Steve Jobs, bow down before me and watch me turn this water to wine!!!”

And it all makes sense.

# 5 Paddy-O said, on January 5th, 2009 at 1:15 pm

#4 – Priceless.

# 6 jescott418 said, on January 5th, 2009 at 1:26 pm

Don’t beleive him for a second. If it was no big deal just hormone inbalance. Then why not just come out with it? Plus, he has been able to do presentations obviously with this problem so why all of sudden bow out of the biggest one? Still leaves too many questions.
I think this was more about saving the stock from dropping anymore then anything else.
But unless Apple is a cult and people by Apple products because Steve tells them too. I really do not see what difference it makes? I mean Gates left Microsoft and we felt Balmer could handle things. Maybe that’s the key, theirs nobody but Jobs in the public eye at Apple. At least nobody carismatic.

# 7 bobbo said, on January 5th, 2009 at 1:28 pm

Zybitch==funny and probably close to the truth.

If I ever get sick, I hope its a hormone imbalance. Easy to cure.

# 8 pedro said, on January 5th, 2009 at 1:28 pm

I’m sure he also did like Tom Cruise and bought an US machine to do the ultrasounds himself.

# 9 rcrach said, on January 5th, 2009 at 1:40 pm

So we can be expect Stephanie Jobs at the next MacWorld?

# 10 bobbo said, on January 5th, 2009 at 1:50 pm

The famous “I-rack” is here. I wonder why analogies between Jobs and Bush are so fitting:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xcjLEwZqcQI

# 11 Joe said, on January 5th, 2009 at 1:57 pm

“The remedy for this nutritional problem is relatively simple and straightforward, and Ive already begun treatment.”

Har! Eating a Steak?

# 12 M0les said, on January 5th, 2009 at 1:58 pm

#2 – I really cannot wait for the “Weekend at Bernie’s” keynote. It’ll be a hoot!

# 13 McCullough said, on January 5th, 2009 at 2:01 pm

Man you guys are brutal, funny, but brutal.

# 14 chuck said, on January 5th, 2009 at 2:38 pm

I just saw another entertainment news story today about how Alanis Morrisette lost 30lbs on an “all-vegan” diet.

I think the problem with an “all-vegan” diet is that its so restrictive you end up starving to death.

Human beings are omnivores. We’re supposed to eat anything we can get our hands on. Maybe a vegetarian diet is healthy. But vegans are just crazy.

Besides, doesn’t Steve Jobs get all his energy from sucking the life out of Mac fanboys?

# 15 OvenMaster said, on January 5th, 2009 at 3:01 pm

“Fortunately, after further testing, my doctors think they have found the cause…”

“Think”?? Hey, Jobs. Why not get a doctor who KNOWS what the cause is and can treat it properly and correctly? Surely you can afford a decent doctor with all the cash you have.

Or does Apple’s HMO limit your doctor choices?

# 16 OvenMaster said, on January 5th, 2009 at 3:02 pm

#6: “I mean Gates left Microsoft and we felt Balmer could handle things.”

Who’s “we”?

# 17 The DON said, on January 5th, 2009 at 3:57 pm

I think Dennis Leary said it best when he said
“Meat tastes like murder, And Murder tastes pretty damn good!”