Use the Stirwand for great tasting, super-hydrating, energized water for you and your family. Great for all of your pets’ water and watering livestock and for farm and agricultural applications.
Easy to use . . . just stir for 10 to 15 seconds and drink!
Stirwands are simple constructions of granulated rock, encapsulated within fountain pen sized enclosures of medical grade polycarbonate plastic. Their primary function is to increase the hydration potential of water. Convention will debate this, as inert objects traditionally do not produce substantial results in water. In this case however, a quantum phenomenon trumps a Newtonian fundamental; Stirwands effects are varied, significant and thought provoking.
[...]
Consider an ordinary rock for example. Pick it up. Feel its weight and hardness. All indications would suggest the rock is a dense and solid object, when in actuality, it is almost entirely empty space. The few bits of matter that do exist, are self defined by their points of focus within an endless matrix of potential.These various manifestations of matter exist because their individual consciousness identify with different points within the matrix, those specifically which they consider to be real. If an individual consciousness of matter were to change its point of focus, its outward manifestation would change as well. Consciousness precedes form, and by this process, our reality is manifest via concentrations of consciousness contained within a matrix of potential. Contrary to appearances, our solid and stable world more closely resembles a holographic projection than one might think.
In parallel co-existence with the aforementioned matrix, is another completely separate matrix, which is a simultaneous realty potential. This can be referred to as the “High Matrix” because matter is remarkably transformed when its consciousness migrates to a point within the High Matrix lattice. Through this method, the minerals of the Stirwands have elevated themselves and consequently exhibit their exceptional qualities.
[...]You may notice: Water tastes better, smoother, and seems “wetter” with a slightly thicker consistency
Now who among us hasn’t wanted their water to be wetter? Finally!
#18, hey, everything I know about ‘puters I learned from the Video Professor.
Am I the only person who would love a John C. Dvorak approved Bullshit Detector?
It would look great on my desk, and it would sell better than No Agenda T-Shirts.
Does it come with a Q-Ray bracelet?
# 13: And I’m sure you’re not to blame.
Hummm…reminds me of Stereophile Magazine!
As stupid as this product is, shouldn’t these people be in jail?
I am unclear about something in the article. Does the rock have consciousness or is it just a dumb rock. If it does have consciousness, then does the EU intend to offer rocks protection from those out to exploit rocks. Can I start the nonprofit People for the Ethical Water Treatment of Ecumenical Rocks (PEWTER).
I wish I had thought of this. Stupid people owe me money is how I’m starting to feel about the Universe.
roflmao! -talk about “baffling’em with your bulls***
OMG: “The price of Basic Stirwand is
$79.95 and includes FREE shipping in the USA!”
-now THATS capitalism! (at it’s worst)
this is probably targeted at all those Hollywood Scientology types with excessive disposable income..
now..if you want another example, only far more
useful and yielding results you can actually see..
-how about a hillary bowl cleaner?
(to go with your hillary nutcracker)
http://theoriginalbowlbuddy.com/firstlady.html
-s
I was intrigued by the “simultaneous realty potential”- how much additional acreage do I get when I use it? Or maybe a nice condo on the coast somewhere?
#30 Look up where they say they are located, Cascade, CO in Google maps. Talk about acreage!
If the center of this thing were made from 100% recycled pet rocks, with all that good vibe psychokinetic energy piled up over the years, I’d buy one real soon now.
Uncle Dave: that pitch reminds me of the worst of Star Trek pseudoscience babble. BS meter is obviously turned up to 11.
#18: I know you were trying to make a funny. Actually, ShamWows are OK. They’re a slightly thicker than usual synthetic chamois. My wife got a pack of them in a Christmas “mystery present,” and says they work very well. Caution: don’t use fabric softener when you’re washing them out.
Holy cow! Where are my hip boots?
Hmm… holy cow… that gives me an idea…
Oh, wait, it’s been done. Rats!
Right! Everyone knows you can’t invert the phase induction polarity of a tri-granite compound encased in a polymer matrix without a severe reduction in the quantum anti-neutrino cascade. Why, those morans!
Where is SmartAlix when you need him??
Way over the top BS !!! Almost as bad as the claims made for Audio Cables !!! (Use heave guage zip cord from Home Depot, it is good enough !!!)
#35, Bubba,
I read a paper just last week where some researchers in Florida accomplished phase induction inversion by encapsulating the tri-granite compound in a phosphorous base matrix and slowly heating in a 50% hydrogen and 65% oxygen atmosphere. I believe they used Trojan brand condoms to protect the neutrinos from the quantum cascade. Wouldn’t it be funny if they got one of those condoms with a hole in the tip?
When I tried to contact these researchers directly no one answered the phone. If anyone has more information on this it would be interesting to see it.
#37, Mr. Fusion,
Well, there’s the problem right there! They should have been using a 50% oxygen / 65% hydrogen atmosphere. With the other mix, the quantum cascade would result in a warp field collapse causing a total tachyon generation failure in the tri-granite matrix, regardless of Trojan or Nuvia-ring protection. Fools.
You think that’s warped water science? Check out http://www.johnellis.com . This guy claims he changes the hydrogen bond angle of water and that Dole banana growers can’t get enough of his special water! It’s $30 for a small bottle!
“We have the ONLY home machine that can make Pure Water using lab standards because we start and stop the boiling (3 times/minute) to lower the steam velocity and open up the hydrogen bond angle. Although how we do this is proprietary, this produces “light” water!”
#39, Must be dihydrogen oxide with a molecular twist. Light water? That’s got to be worse than light beer. I’ll bet it’s dangerous!