The World’s Worst Infomercial EVER.
Thank You, Microsoft

Published on January 14th, 2009

Posted by John C Dvorak in General, Video

I cannot manage to get through this whole thing. It’s that bad.

Found by Rick Salsman.

78 users responded in " The World’s Worst Infomercial EVER.
Thank You, Microsoft "

Subscribe to this post comment rss or trackback url

# 1 ECA said, on January 14th, 2009 at 11:20 am

DEATH to midi, has happened..

# 2 Hornswaggled said, on January 14th, 2009 at 11:31 am

Wow, wow, wow. I got to the point where the dad started singing and couldn’t take it anymore.

This cant be legit. I am torn, should I try to watch more or quickly move on?

Now every time I hear Dvorak I will think of this.

# 3 BillsBayou said, on January 14th, 2009 at 11:31 am

My kids would LOVE this. Up until they start yelling at each other to shut up about the stupid songs they’re creating about each other.

This is the kind of commercial you come up with when you don’t look for outside advice. Each of the songs created SUCK and FAIL in their purpose. Dad writes a horrible jingle. Band-Guy will get beat up by his band mates. How about a commercial that comes up with success stories?

# 4 KAMV said, on January 14th, 2009 at 11:35 am

Only Microsoft can save the “Glow in the Dark Towel” campaign.

# 5 Oh Geez said, on January 14th, 2009 at 11:37 am

If you really want to torture yourself click through to Youtube and watch it in HD.

I tried to get through it but couldn’t. If this gets out watch MSFT stock crash.

# 6 Bobby said, on January 14th, 2009 at 11:39 am

“Microsoft huh? So it’s pretty easy to use?” Yessireebob-creating crap has never been easier-thanks to Microsoft. But who would expect anything other than crap from the mostest craptastic software company in the whole-wide-world? Now I can fill my Zune with “my own music”. Who knew I was a songwriter? Nothing to see here, move along…

# 7 One Liner said, on January 14th, 2009 at 11:40 am

“Microsoft huh…So its pretty easy to use?”

# 8 Mark said, on January 14th, 2009 at 11:41 am

What’s amazing is that at no point did someone at Microsoft think this was a bad product to showcase. Did they really think people want to compose elevator music? Apparently they did, then wrote a 5 minute presentation video, hired producer, director, cast, locations, crew, editor, etc.

Apple comes out with cool videos, Microsoft comes out with embarrassing facepalms.

# 9 @win said, on January 14th, 2009 at 11:43 am

Check out the parody version:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d77eycBpuBY

# 10 Troublemaker said, on January 14th, 2009 at 11:43 am

Errr… I’m confused. They’re using a Mac.

# 11 BubbaRay said, on January 14th, 2009 at 11:46 am

All that’s missing is the Sham Wow guy…

# 12 Troublemaker said, on January 14th, 2009 at 11:47 am

Hmmm… reminds me of the music in that crap Joss Wheden show “Dr. Horrible”. Maybe that’s how he did it.

# 13 sewerurchin said, on January 14th, 2009 at 11:52 am

Apparently it can get worse. Gizmodo has an embed of David Lee Roth vocals for “Runnin’ with the Devil” fed into SongSmith. I urge you to check it out..once and only once for your own mental health sake.

# 14 John C Dvorak said, on January 14th, 2009 at 11:53 am

# 15 Ah_Yea said, on January 14th, 2009 at 11:54 am

Is that how the Osmonds got started?

# 16 Paddy-O said, on January 14th, 2009 at 11:54 am

God! Brady Bunch writers meet MS?

# 17 Dallas said, on January 14th, 2009 at 11:54 am

OK. After one minute, I’d rather set myself on fire. However, one could still turn this into a “watch out for the boogie man” infomercial..

For example: A chat window pops up..

“Hey, I’m Josh and want to exchange pictures. I’m 14″

# 18 MagnusPatris said, on January 14th, 2009 at 11:56 am

“…It comes up with music that matches your voice”. So there must be a musical style called “annoying, tone-deaf brat” that I am unaware of. Kill me now.

# 19 the real billybob said, on January 14th, 2009 at 11:56 am

I just threw up a little bit in my mouth…

# 20 FRAGaLOT said, on January 14th, 2009 at 11:58 am

I’m sure the EULA on this software states that Microsoft owns the IP rights and copyrights to every song all users make with this software, and sharing it online will get the RIAA on your case.

# 21 pedro said, on January 14th, 2009 at 12:11 pm

I wouldn’t advertise it for those who sing in the shower, but those who do while crapping.

“See it in action on a bar mitzvah near you”

Shoot the guy who did this spot (and the soft too)!!!! Please, tell me this is a MS internal video.

The best one was the laggard that saw the dad singing in what appears to be a mcdonalds and told the dad to lend the laptop, ’cause his band said his songs sucked lately and he wanted to make ‘em better.

I would spend some time with this piece of crap and start singing classic rock, just to see what turd of a song it turns it into.

# 22 Sinn Fein said, on January 14th, 2009 at 12:17 pm

A shining, puke-your-guts-out example of an idea that should have died an ugly, horrible death in a production meeting somewhere.

# 23 itate said, on January 14th, 2009 at 12:17 pm

“It’s the cool new thing” yeah right.

But it was better than the “Windows 3-3-386″ video.

# 24 Mr. Fusion said, on January 14th, 2009 at 12:20 pm

The software is designed for the plebeian wannabe singers out there.

This software can also make your voice sound like it is in tune.

Personal involvement might not be a big deal for all the true tech dudes, but the unwashed masses love this crap. See the Wii as an example of player involvement success.

# 25 Shubee said, on January 14th, 2009 at 12:27 pm

I believe this qualifies as a great killer application. I would love to have the Songsmith for myself but I wouldn’t pay more than $50 for it.

# 26 Cursor_ said, on January 14th, 2009 at 12:31 pm

JCD: Cursor, how many notes do you need to tell me this girl’s song sucks?

Cursor: John, I can say it sucks in three notes.

JCD: Cursor, here are those three notes. Now how sucky is that song?

Cursor: Sucky enough that I’m switching to android and putting everything in the cloud.

Cursor_

# 27 pfkad said, on January 14th, 2009 at 12:36 pm

#23 Shubee: Yeah. It about killed me. And they need bagpipes on that thing if they want to match my voice.

# 28 GF said, on January 14th, 2009 at 12:38 pm

A few thoughts:

Yep, it’s a GarageBand killer.

Software only a Quaker would use. To bad they don’t use computers.

The guys expression at 3:15 says it all.

# 29 Shubee said, on January 14th, 2009 at 12:44 pm

I wonder if the Songsmith can create a synthetic voice, like in this song by Patrick Henry:

http://patrickhenrysongs.com/ItsInTheKoran-WindowsMedia-HiFi.html

[Please drop the WWW from URLs as WordPress doesn't display it properly. - ed.]

# 30 JoaoPT said, on January 14th, 2009 at 12:44 pm

Great nerdy infomercial…sucks way less than Disney channel…

HAHAHA….

# 31 Andyg said, on January 14th, 2009 at 12:46 pm

Strangely enough this proves that we will have time travel at some point. Obviously SongSmith was used to write The Music Man and Oklahoma!

Makes perfect sense now.

# 32 pedro said, on January 14th, 2009 at 12:47 pm

#22 Only you are able to see the turd in a gem.

#23 said: “I believe this qualifies as a great killer application.”

Yeah, hopefully it will kill MS.

#24 Now, you made me laugh.

# 33 John Paradox said, on January 14th, 2009 at 12:48 pm

Soon to be seen during American Idol (?)

J/P=?

# 34 choovler said, on January 14th, 2009 at 1:01 pm

David Lee Roth + Songsmith

http://i.gizmodo.com/5129613/david-lee-roth-%252B-microsoft-songsmith–pure-horror

# 35 tPet said, on January 14th, 2009 at 1:04 pm

My ears!! My bleeding ears!!!!!

# 36 wiglebot said, on January 14th, 2009 at 1:11 pm

What do you call the evolution of a company as is becomes isolated and perversely insular. MS is so out-of-touch with everything except XP, and Office. But even the Ads for those are bizarre. Tried searching for “Windows 7” on MS live – it could not find the main page until today??? Google lists it first every time.

# 37 pedro said, on January 14th, 2009 at 1:12 pm

#32 I called it. Things like that had to be done, just to spread the word about the horror. Oh, the humanity!

The best thing was that I got a flashing green ad on gizmodo telling me that this was not a joke. Oh, the irony.

# 38 Thinker said, on January 14th, 2009 at 1:39 pm

Add this to the list of things white people like.

# 39 Paddy-O said, on January 14th, 2009 at 1:48 pm

Anyone notice how fast the story about the Tax dodging Obama Treas Sec got yanked from this blog?

# 40 GF said, on January 14th, 2009 at 1:50 pm

Yep

# 41 LibertyLover said, on January 14th, 2009 at 2:13 pm

#37, #38,

Yeah. I was just starting to enjoy it, too!

# 42 Jeebers said, on January 14th, 2009 at 2:15 pm

The concept of the application is pretty cool. Knowing Microsoft though I’m sure it doesn’t work as expected. A love ballad probably turns into a BSOD medly. Infomercial is not great but it’s not horrible either, at least for its target audience.

# 43 GregA said, on January 14th, 2009 at 2:17 pm

Its funny how Apple announces that Steve Jobbs is dying and the blog’o’sphere ignores that news and starts printing microsoft hatred stories everywhere.

# 44 RASTERMAN said, on January 14th, 2009 at 2:20 pm

#9 (Troublemaker): Good catch, it is a Mac laptop! How embarrassing for the Mac community…

I guess we’ve got one more good reason NOT to install Windows on Apple equipment.

Cheers!

—RASTER

# 45 pedro said, on January 14th, 2009 at 2:21 pm

#37-39 Boy, yanked like bad yard weed. Still, I can appreciate that yanking. T’was like the ultimate reality distortion reaction: make as if it never happened.

Guess when an extremist liberal pisses off, he means it.

# 46 pedro said, on January 14th, 2009 at 2:24 pm

#41 Or was it that MS spent topo much time under the radar that they couldn’t help but crap themselves.

Next up to hear in that app: Gansta rap.

# 47 GregA said, on January 14th, 2009 at 2:32 pm

#44,

I was looking at this program on Long Zhengs blog the other day. I think this software is pretty slick as far as… automatic music generation software goes. This odd commercial…

Also, this is version one Microsoft software. If this gets to version 3, this will be how music is made…

And… I downloaded the demo and tried it, and I could feel it sucking the soul out of my body. I ended up fdisking remotely, it was the only way to be sure.
and….

# 48 Paddy-O said, on January 14th, 2009 at 2:33 pm

# 43 pedro said, “Boy, yanked like bad yard weed. Still, I can appreciate that yanking. T’was like the ultimate reality distortion reaction: make as if it never happened.”

Yep, same thing Obama is trying to do.

# 49 TerryTate said, on January 14th, 2009 at 2:35 pm

Thanks Microsoft,

Thanks for insuring that thousands upon thousands of delusional songsmiths will be sharing their wonderful creations throughout the land.

Good god.

# 50 Miguel said, on January 14th, 2009 at 2:36 pm

I saw it all the way through. But hey, I’m unemployed, I can sleep late tomorrow.

# 51 Canine said, on January 14th, 2009 at 2:57 pm

I can’t believe Microsoft would do this.

# 52 pedro said, on January 14th, 2009 at 3:22 pm

$46 Maybe the creepy Japanese cat ate the story.

Seriously though, I think the dissapearance of that story was an honest mistake.

# 53 Barack McCain said, on January 14th, 2009 at 4:09 pm

Original song the girl was supposed to sing:

“I’m singing with my laptop;
Dad beats me with a spoon;
They keep me in the basement;
I get fed if I’m good.

I sleep in a small dog cage;
I’ve never seen the sun;
I must pretend I’m happy;
I’ve got to find his gun.”

# 54 Mr. Fusion said, on January 14th, 2009 at 4:37 pm

As usual, Cow-Paddy, Ignorant Shit Talking Sociopath and Pedro the *A*hole have nothing to add except their own shit.

# 55 Breetai said, on January 14th, 2009 at 4:37 pm

Okay the look on their faces at 3:15… This has got to be a spoof.

Unfortunately even as a spoof it’s a fail there too.

# 56 towelie said, on January 14th, 2009 at 4:41 pm

“Don’t forget to bring a towel!”

Anybody wanna get high?

# 57 pedro said, on January 14th, 2009 at 5:01 pm

#52 I see your meds wore off. Time to increase doseage

# 58 Common_Sense said, on January 14th, 2009 at 5:13 pm

I gotta say, I’m not a hater. I mean, I’m not a lover of this either, cause I could give a **** about making music, and of course it isn’t a polished product even if I were.

The concept is very interesting. I know lots of young kids who would get a kick out of it just as entertainment – some who already just record themselves singing. Why not one more step? I can see this working as a toy.

Might be value as a mock-up tool too. Sometimes when I write, the hardest thing to do is get the first paragraph. Once you have something, editing it to what you really want is easy. This might work in that way for someone. If the output could create some sheet music or export to some other editor to do electronic sound editing to offer some more options…

The awful DLR song? Terrible, but don’t forget that there are lots of options even just displayed, and who knows what got picked. Plus, listen to that raw audio track, and tell me that “style” (if I can call it that) is not about the worst example input to feed something like this.

One last comment on the concept: Can anyone out there REALLY tell me that the human equivalent of this automated mixing isn’t pretty much what most crappy pop music is done with? The technology will be able to make Brittany Spears music pretty soon. The dance choreographer is the only real artist there…

As for the ad? Well, that sucked, and even my objective/dispassionate side can’t defend it.

# 59 Mister Mustard said, on January 14th, 2009 at 5:13 pm

#44 – ‘dro

>>Yeah, yanked like bad yard weed

Holy shit, ‘dro! You get to grow that stuff in your yard in Kuzconia?

Sweet!

Better pace yourself though, you seem to have hallucinated that the tax cheat story was yanked like yard weed.

# 60 pedro said, on January 14th, 2009 at 5:25 pm

what was yanked was that beloved “change” of yours.

# 61 Satman said, on January 14th, 2009 at 5:32 pm

OMG Microsoft BoB meets karaoke and shower singers… this is some nasty stuff

# 62 QB said, on January 14th, 2009 at 5:48 pm

First the iPhone Ocarina, now this. Excuse me, must find scotch.

# 63 Mister Mustard said, on January 14th, 2009 at 6:11 pm

#58 – ‘dro

>>what was yanked was that beloved “change”
>>of yours.

My beloved change was yanked? ‘Dro! Wtf, dude? You’re gibbering like a gol dang chimp, boy!

# 64 hhopper said, on January 14th, 2009 at 6:12 pm

You guys rant all you want. This software will be purchased by millions of wannabes out there. Just look at how many show up for American Idol auditions and can’t hold a tune in a paper bag. Mark my words… MS will make a lot of money from this.

Here’s another example from Songsmith.

In the right hands, it has possibilities.

# 65 somecalmetim said, on January 14th, 2009 at 6:18 pm

This commercial is awful.

I am pretty sure MS Songsmith is the 3rd horseman of the apocalypse and we should all be very scared…but…it is going to make a sh*tload of money from the parents of young girls before the end.

…and besides it’s Microsoft so it’s pretty easy to use.

# 66 QB said, on January 14th, 2009 at 6:26 pm

OK had a Bowmore. Brain cells cleared.

I’m feeling really sorry for some poor guy in MS Research who has spent the last 20 years of his life coding, going to school, going to grad school, and countless hours researching and designing this – which may be a pretty cool program.

Then some marketing gurk with a degree in catology produces this gerbil vomit.

# 67 neko said, on January 14th, 2009 at 10:32 pm

this might be under ripley’s belive it or not.
but i think i saw this ad on tv my area must have been the test market. i couldn’t watch 10secs of it and didn’t know what it was for in tell i saw this.

# 68 Jim said, on January 14th, 2009 at 11:26 pm

Oh I can see possibilities — throw in bits of dialog from various tv shows and movies and see what it does with them. Especially someone with perfect diction and cadence, maybe a few Shakespearean actors.

The marketing folks need to be shot with heavy mortars, but if it was redone and marketed properly it will probably do very well for kids and the occasional “song writer”.

If I was writing a song it would be useful to run the lyrics through and try different settings to see if I can come up with a better way of singing it — which is pretty much what songwriters, composers and singers do, ya know.

Just not on a computer run by an idiot.

In this flaming towel world of theirs, I’d be the other pitch-man with the pained expression. Plus I’d be telling that client they are insane and really should take a long vacation.

Of course they’d be out of business within six months anyway, so it’s a moot point.

I feel a musical coming on.

# 69 rzwo said, on January 15th, 2009 at 12:45 am

OMG! Where’s the DRM to protect me from this crap!

# 70 Aleksander Morozoff, Ukraine said, on January 15th, 2009 at 1:08 am

>Only Microsoft can save the “Glow in the Dark Towel” campaign.

No, Microsoft even will not think about.

# 71 Uncle Patso said, on January 15th, 2009 at 2:24 am

Huh?

Is this seriously supposed to sell anything to anyone?

Also:

Huh?

#39, it’s still there in _my_ browser…

# 72 jokerfile said, on January 15th, 2009 at 5:53 am

MMM want to copy Apple Garageband’s learn a song function, but can’t get hold of the stars,well microsoft knows how to copy quite well. Even the laptop in this infomertial is a Macbook badly Decorated!!! jees man.

# 73 Miguel said, on January 15th, 2009 at 7:22 am

Dudes, look at the ‘Science is Cool’ video!

http://tinyurl.com/6tz69c

Really, it’s cute

OK, just woke up and it’s way past 3 PM… :/

# 74 orangetiki said, on January 15th, 2009 at 11:03 am

Why do I have the feeling that this is Microsoft’s version of Garage Band?

# 75 WanKhairil said, on January 15th, 2009 at 2:00 pm

I thought this was some kind of joke, but when the URL actually loaded from MS’ website, I cringed, and I’m pretty sure my brain actually got confused and sent out a “fight or flight” reaction. Such a scary moment. Aiiiihhhh…. Microsoft, stop it.

# 76 Fritze said, on January 15th, 2009 at 8:28 pm

I think I just threw up a bit in my mouth, yarrrg!!!

# 77 Edmond Dantès said, on January 16th, 2009 at 10:36 am

Come on people, this is a Microsoft Research project. It is a very positive sign that Microsoft now allows their PhDs to play around without marketing interference.

It is a joke at the nature of most of pop music which is already computer generated and the fools in the audience swallow it whole. But bear in mind that there are very sophisticated ideas behind songsmith. It is a show case of these concepts and never meant as product.

# 78 neel said, on January 25th, 2009 at 6:34 pm

please kill me. i just suffered the whole thing.

Leave Your Reply Below...

Comment Moderation is Active, so if your comment doesn't
show up immediately, please don't submit it again.

Special Deals 4U

25% off eHarmony subscription with code EHTECH
12-percent discount forever with code TECH
10-percent discount and free month using TECH10
10-percent or 30 dollars off weekly car rental!
Get 10-percent discount on car rental!
Get 10% off rental cars!
Get 10% off Dollar rentals!
Discounts on domain names!