Research group switches on world’s first “artificial intelligence” tasked-array system.

For several years now a small research group has been working on some challenging problems in the areas of neural networking, natural language and autonomous problem-solving. Last fall this group achieved a significant breakthrough: a powerful new technique for solving reinforcement learning problems, resulting in the first functional global-scale neuro-evolutionary learning cluster.

Since then progress has been rapid, and tonight we’re pleased to announce that just moments ago, the world’s first Cognitive Autoheuristic Distributed-Intelligence Entity (CADIE) was switched on and began performing some initial functions. It’s an exciting moment that we’re determined to build upon by coming to understand more fully what CADIE’s emergence might mean, for Google and for our users. So although CADIE technology will be rolled out with the caution befitting any advance of this magnitude, in the months to come users can expect to notice her influence on various google.com properties. Earlier today, for instance, CADIE deduced from a quick scan of the visual segment of the social web a set of online design principles from which she derived this intriguing homepage.

I can’t wait to see whether CADIE is a conservative or liberal. Well, yes I can.




  1. Carcarius says:

    The singularity is upon us.

  2. cadieisatool says:

    does anyone know how cadie works. apparently cadie has a webpage with a video on it. Apparently, it created a video of a panda itself from a program and internet scans, but what proof do you have.

  3. cadieisatool says:

    [Duplicate comment deleted. Please don’t double post! – ed.]

  4. Aprils fool says:

    first of April today !!!

  5. brm says:

    APRIL FOOLS!

  6. Jim says:

    Of course, a quasi-omnipotent entity that WANTED everyone to think it was a joke would announce its existence on April 1. Then it would proceed to take over the financial systems and continue to build its own world order through manipulation of world leaders, who are conveniently in one place.

    Genius.

  7. Sister Mary Hand Grenade of Quiet Reflection says:

    http://tinyurl.com/cszqev

  8. GregA says:

    So are you guys sure this is a prank or maybe the Conficker worm actually has taken over Google…

  9. chuck says:

    I, for one, welcome our new AI overlords.

  10. sam says:

    Its a april fool dear

  11. wiglebot says:

    “Cognitive Autoheuristic Distributed-Intelligence Entity (CADIE)”

    When I first clicked the link, I was like, OK it is another Japanese Research project.


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