“Enjoy our first class section”

The no-frills startup airline JetAmerica — which currently owns only one airplane — yesterday started offering the absurdly discounted one-way tickets on flights from Newark Airport to such hot spots as Lansing, Mich., South Bend, Ind., and Melbourne, Fla. Between nine and 19 seats on every flight will be sold for nine bucks, but after that, tickets may top off at $199, spokesman Bryan Glazer said.

“This is not an introductory offer — this is for all eternity,” he said. “As long as we fill 70 percent of the plane, we are making a profit,” he said. The airline hopes to expand its fleet from a single 187-seat Boeing 737-800, which will make 36 flights each week, to 20 jetliners over the next five years. The deal is made possible by federal grants designed to encourage use of regional airports. “The airports are able to waive our landing and gate fees and help pay for the groundcrews,” Glazer said.

“This is à la carte airline — you pay two bucks for a soft drink, six bucks for beer and wine, $2 to $5 for snacks, $5 to watch TV, and $15 for the first piece of luggage,” Glazer said. Modeled after discount carriers such as Europe’s Ryanair, JetAmerica also charges passengers an extra $10 to choose a seat assignment. Despite the $9 price, the airline estimates the average ticket to be between $71 and $79.

Lansing Michigan is a hot spot destination? Who knew?

“Our highly trained mechanic”