Fighting Crime, Toledo Style — Tickets For Parking In Your (Gravel) Driveway

Published on June 17th, 2009

Don’t even THINK of parking here, scumbag!

Who says government doesn’t always know best? And if government says you can’t legally park in your driveway, they must be right. What business do you have parking your car in your own driveway anyway?

Sure, this makes sense to all of us. But people in Toledo, on the other hand, are all upset because they’re receiving parking tickets for doing the unheard of. The criminal act of parking their cars in front of their house.

Crime wave

And the acts of criminality have become so rampant that the Mayor has deputized city workers (instead of police officers and the parking division of the city) to roam the hardscrabble streets to issue $25 parking citations to individuals who have committed this heinous crime.

Not every citizen is getting a ticket. Only those who don’t have their driveways paved. Gravel isn’t good enough for the Mayor. It’s gotta be paved. If not, you’re a criminal.

Dag-gone it!

Mayor Carty Finkbeiner, who surprisingly is facing a recall, says he stands by ~~a bureaucrat’s~~ the Acting Commissioner of Streets, Bridges and Harbor’s decision to ticket citizens who park in their driveways.

“Every law in the city should be enforced and I will defer to the director over the media, that’s for dag-gone sure,” Mayor Finkbeiner said in a press conference last night. “I will not second guess her because more times then not she’s right and the citizens that are criticizing her are not right.”

Mayor Carty Finkbeiner is providing the kind of get tough, no nonsense, those-who-elected-me-are-ignorant-idiots law enforcement that we see too little of these days, especially now that all other problems in his city have been solved. That’s for dag-gone sure!

33 users responded in " Fighting Crime, Toledo Style — Tickets For Parking In Your (Gravel) Driveway "

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# 1 Sea Lawyer said, on June 17th, 2009 at 7:36 am

The law is the law, and patriots obey the law. Right Mr. Fusion?

# 2 Mac Guy said, on June 17th, 2009 at 7:59 am

Well, I guess he should also arrest…

1 – people who throw snakes at others
2 – women who wear patent leather shoes
3 – people who get fish drunk
4 – women who live in a household with more than 5 other women
5 – women who breastfeed in public
6 – people who fish for whales on Sunday
7 – mistreat anything of great importance

But apparently, they can’t do it on the 4th of July or on Sunday.

Courtesy of dumblaws.com.

# 3 Named said, on June 17th, 2009 at 8:05 am

Toronto is kinda like that… Officially, the city owns the property right off the front step of your house, including the sewer lines underneath. I believe it’s 7 metres from the sidewalk to your home is city land. In most Toronto neighbourhoods, the driveways are shared with your neighbour, so you can’t really part in them anyway, unless you get a widening permit and all that jazz…

# 4 Griz said, on June 17th, 2009 at 8:13 am

@#3

It may be more than just the city of Toronto. I know prosecutors from Brampton and other municipalities and you are not technically allowed to park directed in front of your front door. That said, I don’t think it’s a ticket that is written often.

It makes sense though, should there be a fire or something, you don’t want your stupid car preventing firefighters from rescuing you inside.

# 5 killer duck said, on June 17th, 2009 at 8:19 am

#4 Griz. We can’t possibly legislate every possible scenario to prevent people from their own stupidity. People should be allowed to do all the stupid things they want to themselves…its called natural selection. Without it we end up with a society full or morons….oh wait…shit. Too late.

# 6 Mr. Fusion said, on June 17th, 2009 at 8:38 am

#1, SL,

And the citizens are fighting the tickets the correct way. By contacting their elected representatives and by recalling the mayor.

What would you have the citizens do, burn City Hall?

# 7 Improbus said, on June 17th, 2009 at 8:44 am

The mayor of Kansas City, my current residence, just narrowly dodged being recalled. Why do they want to recall him? Read this. It makes me ashamed to live here. Man, I hate politics.

# 8 insert_funny said, on June 17th, 2009 at 9:00 am

And the acts of criminality have become so rampant that the Mayor has deputized city workers (instead of police officers and the parking division of the city) to roam the hardscrabble streets to issue $25 parking citations to individuals who have committed this heinous crime.

You know why they had to deputize the city workers? Because due to a budget shortfall they had to lay off 150 police officers last month!

The only reason this guy is in office right now is the fact that his predecessor was so dull and milquetoast that while the city was sleeping he was able to gloss over his image and make people forget all the shenanigans he pulled during the two terms he served in the 90s.

Oh, and here’s the real kicker: the recall vote won’t appear on the ballot until the general election in November (since there’s also no money to fund a special election). If he decides to run for another term, he could be recalled and re-elected on the same day!

# 9 jccalhoun said, on June 17th, 2009 at 9:04 am

Toledo politics are pretty dirty. Back around 2000 or so the then current mayor got in a fist fight with some guy at a bar.

# 10 Named said, on June 17th, 2009 at 9:04 am

Yeah. You hardly ever get ticketed, if in fact ever, unless someone calls the by-law office and formally complains. Which no one does.

# 11 WhatALoadOfCrap said, on June 17th, 2009 at 9:23 am

Meanwhile, in the rest of America, we park our cars on the street out front of our house, as well as in our driveway and garage. Why is this such an issue for Toledo?

# 12 amodedoma said, on June 17th, 2009 at 9:26 am

Gee, I guess that’s better than wasting time with violent crimes – BTW they’re 1.72 times over the national average.

# 13 Rick's Cafe said, on June 17th, 2009 at 10:20 am

hmmmm….maybe the law could be repealed?

But that would take the fun out of demeaning and belittling the people elected to enforce the laws.

Elect a dummy who writes dumb laws – chastise those charged with enforcing the all laws…yeah, makes sense to me at least this year it does.

# 14 orangetiki said, on June 17th, 2009 at 10:39 am

Does this mayor have a velvet picture of W on the wall and play amazing grace on the piano at 9:45 pm daily? What a wacko.

# 15 Uncle Dave said, on June 17th, 2009 at 10:47 am

Does anyone know why he’s only targeting people who park on gravel driveways? The story implies this is some attempt to get people to pave them. What’s wrong with gravel?

# 16 Named said, on June 17th, 2009 at 11:19 am

15, Uncy Dave

In T.O. the city doesn’t allow PAVING on driveways. Everything has to be porus, and oddly, gravel is very much allowed here…

# 17 Mr. Fusion said, on June 17th, 2009 at 12:26 pm

#15, Uncle,

All the old Toledo Blues singers have been eating it for the effects it has on their singing.

# 18 insert_funny said, on June 17th, 2009 at 12:27 pm

14, orangetiki: Believe it or not, he’s a Democrat.

# 19 stopher2475 said, on June 17th, 2009 at 12:35 pm

15# Does anyone know why he’s only targeting people who park on gravel driveways? The story implies this is some attempt to get people to pave them. What’s wrong with gravel?

I’m sure their official story is that gravel is bad but my guess is that this is a law that was intended to stop people from parking on grass and off street areas and now they’re applying it in a way that was never intended as a cash grab.

# 20 MikeN said, on June 17th, 2009 at 12:53 pm

I think it’s so drivers can turn around on your driveway.

# 21 duh said, on June 17th, 2009 at 2:49 pm

{Believe it or not, he’s a Democrat.}

Duh. The Dems are the ones who want to control every part of your life. I’ll bet there are more Republican rednecks with gravel driveways than well-heeled Democrat contributors.

# 22 speed cleaning said, on June 17th, 2009 at 6:20 pm

Now this is just nuts. LOL what a great use of public funds.

Sally

# 23 a teen who knows Finkbeiner is a dimwit said, on June 17th, 2009 at 6:47 pm

I live in a town a little south of Toledo and I visit Toledo allot and I see all the things that Mayor Carty Finkbeiner as gotten huge amount of funding for go down the drain Toledo is a mess and there crime rate is through the roof they just laid off allot of police officers but just put huge amount of money in a mall that went belly up in under a year he needs to be recalled

# 24 Nimby said, on June 17th, 2009 at 6:50 pm

Two words: Holy Toledo!

# 25 deowll said, on June 17th, 2009 at 8:32 pm

I wonder if it occurred to anyone to change the law?

# 26 ChrisB said, on June 18th, 2009 at 1:05 am

Well, I’m sure HE has a paved driveway. I guess everyone should start parking there.

# 27 N74JW said, on June 18th, 2009 at 4:43 am

#6, I’d park in the City Hall parking lot. Most folks fail to reemember that no matter how much of your property the city says it owns, you are taxed on the entire zoned lot. If the city owns a part of my property, why am I paying taxes on it?

This is a money-making scheme on behalf of the city. I’d get a Pit Bull and a ‘Beware of Dog’ sign with an invisible fence (which I already own).

Come an ticket, folks

# 28 Patrick said, on June 18th, 2009 at 6:58 am

Ah, yet another personal freedom hating Dem liberal.

# 29 Nimby said, on June 18th, 2009 at 8:58 am

#27 – “If the city owns a part of my property, why am I paying taxes on it?”

The city does not “own” the property. They hold an easement which means they can use it for such things as sewer lines, electricity or other things that serve the public good.

It’s still your property and you can do anything you like with it. (As long as you ask nice and they say yes.)

# 30 Patrick said, on June 18th, 2009 at 9:00 am

# 29 Nimby said, “It’s still your property and you can do anything you like with it. ”

In most states you don’t actually own your property, you rent it from the government. Thus, it can be confiscated if you don’t pay the state on an annual basis for it.

# 31 morram said, on June 18th, 2009 at 12:20 pm

City managers and workers.. I got a story for you. Been living in this small California town for a while. Had a repo’d house on one side and a couple of beaches with two pit bulls on the other. The pit bulls had long ago busted a hole in the fence trying to kill me. I had complained to the city that the owners were not willing to help pay for a new fence, city said, take them to court… Then a real estate dude decides that the repo isn’t selling because I have two trucks I’m restoring in the backyard and they can be seen from the upstairs window if you press your face against the wall and are 9 feet tall. City sends out a worker to “inspect” my back yard. I never heard the guy knock but I heard the dogs going at him and when I went out front I could see this guy running for the gate so I leaned back and gave him a good crack in the head with the baseball bat knocking him out cold! Then I noticed he’s a city worker cause he’s wearing a gay jump suit. I freaked and looked around for his truck. Got his key and wallet (he owed me) then pulled the truck up into my driveway, drained all the gas out and filled my truck’s tank before loading him up and pushing his truck into the street and scraping my knee on the driveway near the gate before calling the cops. Hey I was assaulted.
City tries to sue me over the dogs.. D!OH they are not mine.. City pays me $55 for cutting my padlock. Been over a year now waiting to see what happens. City worker can’t remember what happen haha!

# 32 Mr. Fusion said, on June 19th, 2009 at 7:31 am

#31, morram,

Something about your story reeks of bullshit.

# 33 Patrick said, on June 19th, 2009 at 7:36 am

# 31 morram said, “City managers and workers.. I got a story for you…”

IF true, you handled the situation appropriately.

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