Comments on: Suicidal Cows Baffle Scientists

By: Gary, the dangerous infidel

Gary, the dangerous infidel — Tue, 01 Sep 2009 05:35:29 +0000

The local Catholic faithful have already contacted the Vatican to make an official report of the “Miracle of Beef Falling from Heaven.”

By: Weary Reaper

Weary Reaper — Sun, 30 Aug 2009 15:00:03 +0000

I believe the cows left a communal suicide note:

We have these big bells attached to our necks, we can’t remove them and we can no longer stand the constant clanking noise.

I hope I land on a car with lots of fucking humans in it.

By: Jägermeister

Jägermeister — Sun, 30 Aug 2009 14:21:07 +0000

LMAO

By: Dallas

Dallas — Sun, 30 Aug 2009 13:49:03 +0000

#3 LOL

By: deowll

deowll — Sun, 30 Aug 2009 04:39:55 +0000

Most likely dogs are chasing them. This a common problem and one major reason farmers need rifles.

The dog owners will of course swear on anything you might think of that their pets wouldn’t do something like that but they’re full of it.

By: Glenn E.

Glenn E. — Sun, 30 Aug 2009 03:55:32 +0000

Cow tipping gone very wrong, I’ll bet.

Slow news day. Well how about this? This was to be Michael Jackson’s 51st birthday (had he lived). And it’s been over two months since he died, and they still haven’t buried him. They were kind of holding off until his birthday, on the 29th of August. But back on the 22nd, the family changed their minds and postponed it until the 31st. Then postponed it again, until Sept 3. But no reason was given. However….

Just three days after the 22nd announced postponement, Ted Kennedy died. And his burial was scheduled for, you guessed it, August 29th. It’s almost as if something was known, in advance. And we can’t have two high profile burials, at the very same time, can we? It might confuse the American public. Or even cause them to throw themselves off the nearest Alpine cliff (Ha, I tied into the 1st story) out of grief.

I can’t find anything significant about Sept. 3rd, to pick that day after two month. Maybe some recording contracts run out by then. It does seem like they were holding off until MJ’s death was ruled a homicide. One wonders why this mattered, to hold up the burial?

By: TripHamer

TripHamer — Sun, 30 Aug 2009 03:29:33 +0000

I guess at the very least, you could probably still eat them if you get the body soon enough.

By: Sigma

Sigma — Sun, 30 Aug 2009 03:15:46 +0000

Not sure how to submit this to you guys, but here: http://www.snopes.com/photos/odd/searsgrill.asp

By: Jägermeister

Jägermeister — Sun, 30 Aug 2009 02:13:10 +0000

#4 – Ah_Yea

LOL – I’m sure we’re going to see some weird DNA mixing in the future.

By: Satman

Satman — Sun, 30 Aug 2009 01:57:12 +0000

This is a very moooving story.
It behooves to find the cause
sad cow disease?
It was reported they were rather moooody.
No there must be an udder reason…
perhaps they thought the grass was greener on the other side
an obvious missteak 0n their part.

By: Ah_Yea

Ah_Yea — Sun, 30 Aug 2009 01:53:58 +0000

Jägermeister, Three parent cows! Mom, Dad, and uncle Lemming!

By: Sister Mary Hand Grenade of Quiet Reflection

Sister Mary Hand Grenade of Quiet Reflection — Sun, 30 Aug 2009 01:43:41 +0000

They were visited by Jehovah’s Witnesses.

By: Jägermeister

Jägermeister — Sun, 30 Aug 2009 00:54:50 +0000

#1 – Ah_Yea

Perhaps there’s some crazy Swiss scientist who mixed in some lemming genes, just to speed up the slow moving cows. It just happened to have a slight side-effect…

By: Ah_Yea

Ah_Yea — Sun, 30 Aug 2009 00:30:35 +0000

Maybe that colony of Lemmings right next door had something to do with this…