The Register – 10th September 2009:
A devout Catholic who popped into church to thank God for a his rescue from a lift was crushed to death by a 860lb stone altar, the Telegraph reports.
Police spokesman Roman Hahslinger explained that Gunther Link, 45, was “a very religious man and had been scared when he was trapped in the lift and had prayed for release”.
He continued: “A short while later he was pulled out of the elevator and he went straight to the church to thank God.”
Fishy tale. Yet still funny.
# 1 JMRouse said, “Does that qualify as irony?”
With an 860 pound slab of granite, more like “ironing.”
Props to Jim #3: “Altar-nate ending” is superb!
It is appointed to man once to die.
“When God hath ordained a creature to die in a particular place, He causeth that creature’s wants to direct him to that place.”
-Liet-Kynes, quoting the Orange Catholic Bible
Bi-la kaifa!
An Altar-cation with a 860lb lump of stone would be depressing.
It had his name on it?
#3 OK, I confess. I found that funny.
I think its obvious God trapped him in the elevator to prevent the death by statue, but relented when the man prayed to be released from the elevator.
You got to be careful what you ask for, you just may get it.
Where’s the B.S meter on this story?
How did this man pull the block of stone down upon himself? Did he have long hair like Samson? Isn’t that a miracle that he was able to do that? Atheists couldn’t do that.
Why didn’t he tear the elevator apart and free himself?
Sure this isn’t from The Enquirer or Weekly World News?