Large Hadron Collider ‘Being Sabotaged from the Future’ – — This goes so far beyond the “dog ate my homework” excuse that someone should be spanked. I’ve heard bogus excuses before, but this is seriously amazing!

Scientists claim the giant atom-smashing Large Hadron Collider (LHC) is being jinxed from the future to save the world.

In a bizarre sci-fi theory, Danish physicist Dr Holger Bech Nielsen and Dr Masao Ninomiya from Japan claim nature is trying to prevent the LHC from finding the elusive Higgs boson. Called the “God particle,” the theoretical boson could explain the origins of mass in the universe — if physicists can find the darn thing.

The scientists say their math proves nature will “ripple backward through time” to stop the LHC before it can create the God particle, like a time traveller who goes back in time to kill his grandfather.

“One could even almost say that we have a model for God,” Dr Nielsen says in an unpublished essay. “He rather hates Higgs particles, and attempts to avoid them.”

  1. jasontheodd says:

    Now if only God could ripple back through time to prevent all these emo boy bands my kids are listening to……

  2. uberrob says:

    Yeah – think the idea was interesting, until they took a left turn into Land O’ Weird.

    My perspective on it here.

    – Rob

    [Good article. – ed.]

  3. gp1477 says:

    Now if only the God particle could ripple back and eliminate all Taylor Swift music…

  4. KMFIX says:

    I ran into my future self the other day while hiking. He told me to avoid an area where there was a rattle snake, which is exactly where I was heading.

    Thank you future self!

  5. Geniva says:

    If attempting to find this missing particle creates an effect that seems as if time is cascading backwards on itself, couldn’t that also serve as the answer to their questions? Could the entity of time itself explain the existence of mass?

  6. smartalix says:

    There are a myriad of stories about causal inevitability and dynamic healing of space-time. It is an interesting concept, but I doubt it can really happen. Then again, reality is already prettyu strange, and unless someone can explain the dual-slit experiment who is to say reality cannot police itself?

    I do think if this really were a protective manifestation of reality, it would be more subtle. Never acheiveing proper ignition energy, not getting alignment ever right, etc. More behavioral artifacts in the nature of trying to push like magnetic poles together than a physical hand of fate.

  7. Martin says:

    If someone can help me find a new flux capacitor for my DeLorean, I’ll go back to the future and fix this problem.

  8. Angel H. Wong says:

    That confirms my theory that the Fermi Paradox is wrong. It’s not that the universe is devoid of intelligent, sentient life. It’s just that sentient life in the universe is full of overachieving idiots who thought that making miniature black holes in their own planet was safe.

  9. Charbax says:

    I filmed the LHC at CERN in this Youtube HD video, check it out:

  10. dusanmal says:

    Ok, needed to chime in here (worked on operations of 2 accelerators; worked on design teams of 2 other accelerators; worked on team making completely new accelerator concept [Cystalline Beams]).

    – Design of accelerators is tricky, partly an art of tweaking. Seemingly minimal effects get amplified to immense measures while stability needed corresponds to an order of magnitude greater than one keeping Solar system in order. Equipment simply can’t be made to specifications and resulting errors preventing new accelerator from working until tweaked into working condition is a norm. This is CUTTING EDGE technology. Due to this issue alone I am not at all surprised with LHC, the cutting edge of a cutting edge needing so much tweaking and fixes. They are in ball park and working on it.

    – Idea about “backwards in time ripple” theory itself is not as outrageous as it seems. Due to JCD Tweet on this topic reflecting common misconception I must underline: these scientists are checking serious completely scientific issue of whether this particular particle may interact with conditions that have created it in the past. No “entity” or aliens or men from the future are involved. Just Physics equivalent to ripples stone thrown into the water creates… Though, it involves Physics we do not yet know and hence speculate about. Same applies to “conspiracy theories” that LHC could create black hole or tear the whole Universe apart. Completely scientific but only in theory as we don’t yet know details of Physics involved. “If these assumptions are correct” type of thing.

    – Finally, strongly against “ripples backwards in time affecting its creation” is rudimentary but properly tested : proof that NOTHING (including the God Particle) can travel back in time and affect anything that have happened, including its own creation. Ie. no “Back to the Future” science in reality.

  11. James46 says:

    It appears that mankind is about to learn the ancient answer to the question:

    “How can entropy be reversed?”

  12. And James46 hits us all with an Asimov, silencing the crowd with his awesomely obscure reference!

    And its not the future screwing with the LHC. Its the Vorlons. Just saying.

  13. Austin says:

    It’s obviously the work of…
    crab people!

  14. Breetai says:

    I just realized something. This was the series finale of Star Trek:TNG

    The Human race is about to have never begun. KAAAHHNNN!!!! Or more accurately QQQUUEE!!!!!

  15. chris says:

    #10 Technical perspective in plain language. Wow! Much respect.

  16. Dirk Thundernuts says:

    I have a large hadron.


  17. Improbus says:

    “How can entropy be reversed?”

    If could reverse entropy then times arrow would disappear. That wouldn’t be a good thing.

  18. BostonPilgrim says:

    All such notions as causation, succession, atoms, primary elements…are all figments of the imagination and manifestations of the mind. -Buddha

  19. Glenn E. says:

    It’s not a “dog ate my homework” excuse. It’s more like a “GOD stole our pencils and paper” excuse. BTW, wouldn’t GOD be smart enough to either make sure these guys were never born, in the first place? Or confuse the crap out of them by dropping tons of barely dressed supermodels in their laps? But these guys claim that GOD works only at the subparticle level. And only acts (and only exists) to inconvenience these scientists. Otherwise, there is no GOD. They don’t believe GOD has anything to do with their rare successes. Hmmm.

    They’re not very consistent atheists, are they?

  20. Glenn E. says:

    Time is a result of matter (or mass) existing. NOT matter is the result of Time (or something resembling Time). We measure Time as a relation of matter in motion, relative to other matter. We can’t measure Time in an absolute void (the complete absence of everything, even a Clock). References are always needed. And the motion of known mass qualities, distance moved, and speed (or rate). Without these, Time is like the sound of a tree falling in a forest, with nobody around to hear it. It might exist. But it’s a meaningless phenomenon, or dimension, without matter (or the other physical dimensions).

    So…. I can’t see any time traveling force, being responsible for either the existence or non-existence of a subatomic particle of matter. No more than the intervals between falling grains of sand, is responsible for an Hour Glass’ existence. Besides, that would totally violate the law of Cause and Effect.

    These cheese-headed scientists, been readin too many scifi comic books.

  21. Dick Dawkins says:

    I thought perhaps Dvorak and Curry of 2012 traveled back in time in a hemp-powered Smart timecar to stop the lizard people from perfecting their Doomsday LHC. 🙂

  22. Spalunk says:

    This sounds a lot like the “You can look at peoples protected Tweets with just a google search”. This story is a hoax.

  23. chuck says:

    Or how about: if the Large Hadron Collider ever works, it will cause a “big bang” so large it explodes backwards to the beginning of time, and creates the universe.

    This will be the 3rd time it has happened.

  24. Bjames says:

    See there you go, so man created the LHC, LHC creates big bang which flashed back to the beginning of time. Hence, no God. Man created and destroys and recreates the universe over and over again… Might make a great movie…

  25. DavidSheeks says:

    Nothing terribly original. Check out this science fiction novel from 1997 by John Cramer. Very good “hard” science fiction read:

  26. RTaylor says:

    You can’t apply so called common sense to quantum mechanics. It’s totally out of the realm of our macro physical knowledge of the Universe. It’s also extreme arrogance to claim we have a real working model of the Universe.

  27. amodedoma says:

    ‘Scientists claim’, is that anything like? – ‘according to one whitehouse insider’ if it is you can write about any ridiculous crap you want afterward. Who are these scientists? Are they associated with the project? The amazing part about it is the number of sites mirroring this BS. Seems like Dr Holger Bech Nielsen and Dr Masao Ninomiya from Japan are going to pad their resume with this crap. Now if only they would have suggested that ET came and is sabotaging the project to keep us from blowing ourselves up – at least that makes some kind of sense.

  28. Uncle Patso says:

    # 6 smartalix:
    “Then again, reality is already prettyu strange, and unless someone can explain the dual-slit experiment who is to say reality cannot police itself?”

    Well, according to author John Gribbin, particles (especially photons) travelling backwards in time perfectly explain the double-slit experiment!

    – – – – –

    # 12 raistlinsghost:

    “And James46 hits us all with an Asimov, silencing the crowd with his awesomely obscure reference!”

    [“Now, there is!”]

    “And its not the future screwing with the LHC. Its the Vorlons. Just saying.”

    [Rustle, squead, murmur, humm, hiss…] “You are not ready for the God particle!”

  29. fishguy says:

    Time is an illusion. You heard it here first.

  30. smartalix says:



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