A Brit Visits America — It Ain’t Pretty, Except For Denny’s Hashbrowns

Published on October 25th, 2009

“Welcome to America. Now get out of my way.”

This British journalist ecountered a lot of the weirdness (compared to the rest of the world) of this country (read the article), but it’s the last paragraph of his post that nails it.

But it’s the idiocracy that really gets me down. The constant coaxing you have to do to get anything done. “No” is the default setting whether you want to change lanes on a motorway or get a drink on a Sunday. It’s like trying to negotiate with a donkey. Once, I urged a cop in Pensacola, Florida, to use his common sense and let me load a van in the no loading zone, since the airport was shut and it would make no difference. “Sir,” he said, “you don’t need common sense when you’ve got laws.”

That, I think, probably says it all.

44 users responded in " A Brit Visits America — It Ain’t Pretty, Except For Denny’s Hashbrowns "

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# 1 Lambo said, on October 25th, 2009 at 4:25 am

That’s not just a british jounalist, that’s Jeremy Clarkson, creator and star of the best show in the world, Top Gear. And, he has valid points about America. Reading the news each day, we do live in an idiocracy. There is no common sense left in people. But, as he has said often, Britain is not much better, with it’s speed cameras and draconian, nanny state laws. He complains on Top Gear every week about it. I think it’s the same anywhere you go. If you haven’t seen Top Gear, do yourself a favor and watch some clips on you tube. It’s addictive!

# 2 Patrik said, on October 25th, 2009 at 4:29 am

ugh, what countries doesn’t Jeremy have problems with.

# 3 Eric said, on October 25th, 2009 at 4:40 am

I think Top Gear is an excellent show, but I saw the trip across the south episode and thought it was terrible. Not because I didn’t like “looking in the mirror” but because it really looked staged, and his commentary wasn’t the rage against the machine it usually is, but more just making fun of the locals.

The drive from CA to Bonneville salt flats they did the next year seemed to be much better, and his commentary was much less insulting. But basing your opinion of the US on a few stops in the deep south and California is like basing your opinion of London on the duty free shops in Heathrow.

# 4 jo said, on October 25th, 2009 at 4:43 am

That poor lady! I would hate to be that big.I wonder if she can wipe?

# 5 Rupert_Bear said, on October 25th, 2009 at 4:44 am

Has anything changed since he wrote the article, over 3 years ago?

# 6 bobbo, world traveler and bon vivant said, on October 25th, 2009 at 5:01 am

You find good and bad all over the world and in your own town, neighborhood, family. Still I think “trends” and general characteristics can be fairly judged if some thought is put to it. Not often found in short articles of personal experiences.

# 7 Improbus said, on October 25th, 2009 at 5:12 am

I, for one, will welcome the Great Culling when it happens.

# 8 SN said, on October 25th, 2009 at 5:16 am

This is exactly why anyone with a brain doesn’t base arguments on anecdotal evidence. One guy has one bad trip to American, and from that one bad trip, America sucks. He has one bad experience with a prick for a cop, so all American cops are ignorant idiots.

# 9 The New Guy said, on October 25th, 2009 at 5:22 am

This article is from July 2006…..

# 10 BigBoyBC said, on October 25th, 2009 at 5:23 am

He liked the food at Denny’s…

… can we really trust his judgment?

# 11 Kahless said, on October 25th, 2009 at 5:49 am

Where do the DU editors dig this stuff up? And why is it that it always seems like the stuff they get the most riled up about is from three or four years ago?

That being said, I agree with the others that have already mentioned that this article illustrates precisely why you don’t make generalizations like this. Surely there is at least one tragic burn case in the whole of Britain just like the guy he met helping him wash cars.

And, as BigBoyBC said, can we really just someone that thinks Denny’s food is excellent?

# 12 spinedoc said, on October 25th, 2009 at 5:50 am

Wow slow news day? The article is 3 years old. Although Mr. Clarkson wrote his article in a rambling non specific sort of way, I do agree with the spirit of it though. The US has become a whopper eating-bible thumping-neighbor reporting-I’m always right-mall going nation with the meccas of humanity residing in the big cities.

It’s kind of like a zombie movie where all the civilized rational human beings are in the city, with the rabid zombies outside of the cities.

But I don’t think it’s much better in the UK. Don’t they have cameras pretty much everywhere? That’s kind of big brotherish scary.

# 13 STEVE said, on October 25th, 2009 at 6:57 am

ISN’T THIS A THREE YEAR OLD ARTICLE AND, HASN’T THE EPISODE THAT WAS FILMED DURING HIS TRIP ALREADY BEEN SHOWN A FEW YEARS AGO?

# 14 pedro said, on October 25th, 2009 at 7:05 am

Shocker! I’ve found a lot of weirdness in Europe. Specially in France.

# 15 MAOM7 said, on October 25th, 2009 at 7:17 am

Whine whine complain complain. I don’t put much stock in people that have nothing good to say at all. Give me a break. Glad I don’t have to live with the guy, it’d be like having another emo teenager in the house!

# 16 Thomas said, on October 25th, 2009 at 7:25 am

I wasn’t aware that the zip code requirement at the pump is from the pump itself. I presumed it was the credit card imposing this requirement. If all pumps require a zip code, then yes that is an issue for any international traveler and I would agree it should be eliminated.

The idiocracy in America and the constant impediments to doing anything are two entirely different and unrelated issues. The former is because of the poor quality of kindergarten through HS education (a testimony to public education). The later is more about what the lawyers have done to this country. Every minute action is legislated to death with the threat of lawsuit looming over everything.

# 17 pedro said, on October 25th, 2009 at 8:16 am

#16 The zip code is to avoid card fraud.

# 18 Thomas said, on October 25th, 2009 at 8:38 am

#17
That would imply that it is the credit card that is imposing the requirement would it not? If that is the case, then wouldn’t a credit card from another country not require a zip code at the pump or is the pump itself imposing this requirement?

# 19 pedro said, on October 25th, 2009 at 9:08 am

#18 There is a lot of fraud made on gas pumps with international credit cards. That’s why the CC companies ask for the zip code.

# 20 JD said, on October 25th, 2009 at 9:21 am

The article is old, but sometimes we need an outside perspective.

If he’s not lying, the author has been to every US state, so it’s not just about going to California and the Deep South. I’ve not needed a ZIP code for gas, but I’ve been to plenty of sorry gas stations where the attendent is behind glass – for his or her safety. So no, we don’t need people that paint rosy pictures for us so that we can pretend everything is OK. Things haven’t been OK, ever, and it can be easy to forget.

# 21 jccalhoun said, on October 25th, 2009 at 9:38 am

American Express makes you input your zip code when you use it so maybe that was it although I don’t know if Amex is used much by UK people. An old article though

# 22 Traaxx said, on October 25th, 2009 at 9:48 am

I think that Mr. Jeremy Clarkson is bitching about that every American town and city isn’t a carbon copy of Europe. If we wanted to live in Europe, then we’d be in Europe. Just like our women save, we do things our way not theirs.

Yeah, Yeah…I’ve been to most European counties, and I was born there, except Portugal, Greece and Norway. I haven’t always had a lot of money when I’ve been so I’ve seen the earthier type there and I can’t really say I’ve seen anything different in any of these countries than what Jeremy Clarkson has mentioned here. Unless you have money there is nothing as obnoxious as a European looking down on a poor American. You have not found intransigence until you been around a German, or ein Berlinier.

Considering how the Brits are routinely documented here about their intransigence about their cameras, little zones, tickets for putting the wrong trash into the wrong bins, and PC police. I can’t say that it was that bad when I was there, but they still had their PC ways and were very stubborn ways and their little stupid laws, but then I was an American.

I suspect that Mr.Jeremy Clarkson found out that like myself that other Americans aren’t dreamily in love with foreigners. Although I’m polite to foreigners and not rude and try and to make them comfortable, most of the illegal immigrants here today are usually quite nasty; irrespective of who it is they are dealing with.

In the end, I hope the Europeans that do come over spend their money, keep their nose out of our business and go home. European trash should stay where they can see the nude pictures in their everyday newspapers.

Whatever……………………….
Traaxx

# 23 simongiln said, on October 25th, 2009 at 9:52 am

1: This article is 3 years old. His prejudices about America were rather bad back then (and coloured his opinions), and if you’ve watched his show, you might have actually seen them shift slightly after Obama took office (saying, to the effect, that America didn’t feel like the police state it did before). In short, he’s a fickle drama queen.

2: This guy isn’t anything even remotely like a journalist. He’s an entertainer. I love Top Gear (and I’m not even that into cars), but to call Jeremy Clarkson a journalist would be like calling Tom Cruise a comedian. It’s a perversion of the term.

# 24 sargasso said, on October 25th, 2009 at 11:05 am

Sorry, he’s ours, and you can’t have him.

# 25 Cursor_ said, on October 25th, 2009 at 11:22 am

I am sure he complains about similar when he goes to Scotland, Wales and Ireland.

That’s trouble with Brits.

Everyone else outside of their own lot and the charming French of Dordogne can go stuff themselves.

By what can one expect from a bunch of Franco-Prussian dunderheads still in love with a Saxon monarch that changed their surname to a castle to avoid making it look like germans fighting germans in WWI?

It is all about appearance & custom than real substance.

Cursor_

# 26 888 said, on October 25th, 2009 at 11:31 am

#5
Where do you see any Lady?
All I see is a big fat slob in a wheelchair barely resembling human and female at all, a view far from what “common sense” describes a Lady.

Sure she may be smart, educated, and very nice person. It is possible, after all we don’t know her, so let’s not venture into things we don’t know.
But I know what I see in the picture, and it is not any Lady.

# 27 Rick Cain said, on October 25th, 2009 at 11:36 am

Clarkson needs to focus on the insane laws in his own country.

# 28 honeyman said, on October 25th, 2009 at 12:34 pm

Clarkson’s always been a curmudgeon and in this article he’s playing up on the Anglo-American rivalry, as he often does on Top Gear. He complains about all manner of stuff. Its part of his persona. Of course, there is normally a well observed grain of truth in what he says.

It amuses me that Americans would get defensive over his opinions. You should hear what he says about aussies!

# 29 sargasso said, on October 25th, 2009 at 12:35 pm

#27. yes, he does. He is an equal opportunity cultural socio-political lightning rod.

# 30 thehereticking said, on October 25th, 2009 at 12:47 pm

#23 Actually he is a trained journalist and worked as such before starting to appear on TV, and the original series of Top Gear (circa last 80’s – before the currently revived and revised format) was much more of a journalistic style programme.

Despite his often rather controversial and seemingly puerile remarks he’s actually a highly intelligent, well read, and accomplished journalist.

# 31 GetSmart said, on October 25th, 2009 at 1:27 pm

Yep, he’s been to the “real” South alrighty. It’s far worse than he can imagine.

# 32 Luc said, on October 25th, 2009 at 2:06 pm

Funny that all answers to Clarkson from most Americans here pretty much amount to “your country sucks too so leave us alone.” Translation: “we don’t care if we stink, we are proud of our right to stink…” instead of getting a shower, a haircut, clean clothes and straightening up.
I find that pretty typical of an idiocracy, too. That’s likely the mindset of those incredibly obese people. They don’t fucking care.

I would be interested in reading Clarkson’s views of my country. We have plenty to be ashamed of, but an external appraisal is always an extra help. It’s a favor! Like someone telling you that you have something stuck in your teeth. If you’re smart and have at least a modicum of dignity, you WANT to be given that kind of information and do something about it.

Article is 3-years old. So fucking what? It still stand. No place can change that much in 3 years.

# 33 Joe Bloggs said, on October 25th, 2009 at 2:26 pm

Please, Jeremy Clarkson, a Journalist..

By the way, I’m not anti-Clarkson, far from it.

# 34 expateastender said, on October 25th, 2009 at 4:13 pm

First a bitchslap to Uncle Dave for running such an ancient story when we have so much actual important stuff going on.

Now:

Funny that Stephen Fry, a much more insightful guy, just finished a 50-state tour and came away telling Brits to stop bashing the US…he found the real US a great place. Listen to his podcast about it…he roundly attacks Brits who slam the US.

Clarkson knew what he wanted to find, came and found it. If he stuck to the highways and Denny’s, no wonder he found the blandest and worstest and most banal.

Yes, the laws are getting ridiculous, but what bloody cheek for a Brit to complain about it…the UK is where all this crap is coming from, and where it’s much much worse. A few years ago I was threatened with arrest and had my camera taken and inspected because I took a picture of the Big Eye…because there might have been children on it and my camera had a telephoto lens. They then got nervous when they saw pics of the hub mechanism (I’m a mechanical engineer, and it was a nice piece of design). Then I became a terror suspect. The US criticized for silly laws by a Brit? Blow me.

# 35 soundwash said, on October 26th, 2009 at 3:20 am

I heard this a lot from Brits and Australians when i was volunteering at ground zero feeding the recovery workers on the pile.

When I was volunteering at the Chapel behind the WTC at 209 Broadway, about every 20 minutes someone would comment to the effect “does anybody in this country or the service industry here know how to take a bloody order anymore..or speak English?”

Getting eggs over easy or lightly scrambled with “floppy bacon” seemed to be an impossibility from the surrounding food vendors in the area.

“no matter where i have gone i get overcooked eggs, broken yolks and bacon practically burnt to a crisp.”

Me being somewhat of a chef, a lover of breakfast and a huge fan of lightly cooked eggs in any style, (and floppy bacon) understood completely, the tragedy of having to start the day with a screwed up breakfast. (Which in my opinion, is the easiest meal of the day to cook)

The other comment was how rude and “bloody stupid” many floor people were in the larger retail stores and
the almost complete lack of knowledge they had of anything to do with the inventory of items the store(s) sell.

The most popular “ignorance” of note was the complete lack of knowledge the staff in electronic stores had of anything on the shelves.

Alas, most noted a similar trend forming in their own countries, but nowhere even close to the level they found here.

The cause they most fingered as the reason behind the escalation of “morons running everything” was the “bloody plague” known as Affirmative Action, -and by extension, Political Correctness.

(some reversed the order, but at least eight out of ten conversations ended with the same conclusions)

Make friends with any foreign born visitor or resident, and behind closed doors this observation will spill out into the conversation in short order..

As most know, since 2001, it has only gotten worse. -much, much worse.

-my 2¢

-s

# 36 Rolf said, on October 26th, 2009 at 3:47 am

We Europeans tend to make two assumptions when we judge the US:
1) The US is just a version of Europe with a different geography, and
2) Common sense is common

Assumption No 1 is easily proven to be false by e.g. the current health care debate in the US, and No 2 is superoptimistic, even within your own family, not to mention a country of hundreds of peoples, founded by 13 different anarchies who grudgingly ceeded some power to a central government under the explicit condition that they would take the power back from the federal authorities at any provocation whatsoever.
What is amazing is that it works at all, given the bureaucracies, lawyers and media that try to kill it off.

# 37 soundwash said, on October 26th, 2009 at 4:28 am

–as for fat people and their “electraglides”

Worse still, now everyone and their mother have those four wheeled walkers.

They advertise both on TV 24/7 in the NYC area with the tagline “if your insurance won’t pay for it, we will give it to you absolutely free”

(it’s an old medicaid-medicare subsidy scam that’s been going on for years on the street, but now that major cutbacks are on the horizon (and some already in play) it appears they are trying to sell as much as possible before the subsidy is fully killed, scrutinized and/or broke. –hence the saturation bombing on tv)

One thing we have in spades here is the “if it’s free it’s for me” crowd that is always mumbling, “F that, I’m gettin minez too”

’nuff said?

The walkers are largely being exploited for free rides on the bus (handicapped in chairs ride MTA buses for free in NYC -walkers are supposed to pay half fare, but most never pay.

Once off the bus, they trot away like it’s ok..

Get on the bus at the wrong time and the ride can take 25 minutes longer than usual as the chair lift is cycled multiple times within a 15 block stretch.

On the flip side, I have never seen so many friggen HUGE people in my life now that these things are being handed out like candy.

You will get run over by one at the Pathmark on 125th and Lex if your not careful and in there at the front of the foodstamp cycle. (esp in the ice cream isle)

They actually have a small fleet of them out front by the shopping carts for those who feel the 6 month supply of fat stored on their body needs to be topped off, yet have not figured out how to get one themselves yet.

Something to think about:

When the food riots hit next year and these people start burning the decades old fat stores on their bodies for lack off food.

No doubt, we are going to see a lot of them hospitalized with all sorts of interesting “effects” as the multitude of toxins stored in their fat is released to be burned for energy.

It’ll be interesting to see how this new “toxic fat shock” syndrome will be spun in the news and what conclusions will be drawn as to the original source of the toxins.

/rant over

-s

# 38 pedro said, on October 26th, 2009 at 10:05 am

#35 Ignorance of people in electronic stores? Have they ever been to Europe?

I know your run of the mill circuit city has the electronics knowledge of a small ferret, but most of Europe is even worse. I’m fed up of telling the numbnuts there that they’re giving me the wrong accessory.

#37 I had a conversation on the fat subject with people from Spain. They said that the Americans are all fat. Then, everytime I saw a fat Spaniard (and it was a lot) I told them: There goes an American.

The first three or four times they tried to correct me. Afterwards they caught the irony.

# 39 The Monster's Lawyer said, on October 26th, 2009 at 12:31 pm

#4 – I think that purple hat makes her look fat.

# 40 Breetai said, on October 26th, 2009 at 12:54 pm

Dang it I can’t find it now. Saw a youtube clip of a group of guys that basically pulled Leno’s man on the street interviews in every country. The made a very effective case that it’s not the US the entire world is stupid. I tend to agree.

# 41 Improbus said, on October 26th, 2009 at 4:42 pm

Well, by definition, half of the people in the world are below average.

# 42 Phydeau said, on October 26th, 2009 at 5:09 pm

Do these pants make me look fat? No, your fat makes you look fat!

# 43 pdcant said, on October 26th, 2009 at 7:24 pm

This was done a decade ago or more by author Bill Bryson. Check out “I’m a Stranger Here Myself”. He nails a lot of goofy U.S. customs and policies.

# 44 FarmerJoe said, on October 27th, 2009 at 7:03 am

Top Gear rocks. Jeremy Clarkson is a douchebag.

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