Who Takes Care of Your Pets After the Rapture?
By John C Dvorak Thursday February 18, 2010
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I’m still trying to figure out what to do with them after the Rupture..
I’ll water your flowers after rapture. Donate $500 today.
If there isn’t dogs I don’t want to go anyway.
What a perfect way to extract money from fools!
This is an even better hustle than those little $30 stickers sold by multi-level marketing cultists that “harmonize” your “biofield” by “neutralizing” EMF radiation.
Gangsta rappers? They get big $$$$ to act like pets to entertain the dumb sheep. The economy is weak so send Washington your dental gold and old wedding bands to meet GM credit needs so the wolves can build the sheep new carts. Ted Kennedy gave the prez a waterdog. Bo, rhymes with…Sicko
They will be well cared for. Kept nice and warm…..
You know, if the rapture believers were truly good people, they would not have pets to begin with.
I mean, how dare you adopt an animal, when you know for sure you will be physically lifted up through the air, into space, beyond space… wait, how does that work? I mean, what if you’re taking a dump? Or, um, being fruitful and multiplying with the wife, so to speak. Does all that action get transferred to mid-air?
Anyway, regarding rapture believers adopting animals, I think PETA should weigh in on this.
I watched “book of Eli”…
YES, I know what will happen, and I thank those for my continuing LIFE
For confused foreigners, the “Rapture” is a belief held by obscure sects within fundamentalist evangelical baptist Christians, that they will spontaneously all pop into Heaven at the same time. Leaving behind the un-enlightened, pets, livestock and drunk uncles.
[Don't forget about airline pilots...mid flight - ed.]
BTW – NO REFUNDS if these damned heathens can’t find your pet.
Hell, you’d think an omnipotent god would take care of the problem as part of the rapture. I mean, would it take so much more effort to just kill the pesky critters?
After all, god has killed before. How many animals perished during the flood?
#6 McCully
Good one.
Besides, I ain’t leaving my pet in the care of a non-Christian.
#2 Jagster
Hell, I’ll cut the lawn, shovel the walk, clean inside and out, and pay the taxes.
PETA
Its funny as you read the info in the commercial…
NON-Christians are being hired, to save and protect your PET..
Oh, I just came up with a better idea!
The Rapture-a-matic pet feeder!
Once our special patent-pending RapturaMeter has detected the mass exodus of all people worthy, our Rapture-a-matic pet feeder will automatically dispense the proper amount of food and water for your beloved left-behind day for the next 20 years!
Only $9,999 plus shipping and handling. Get yours now while you can!
#11 – fulanoche – …and pay the taxes
LMAO
The PEGAN HEATHENS like you will be here to take care of them… You know, the ones that are animals themselves who evolved from rocks then apes.. Bunch of monkeys here with rocks for brains!
#16 – My Scottish mother-in-law always referred to people like you as “cheeky monkeys.”
Evolved from rocks? Yes, I’m hard-headed, I’ll granite you but I’m not a fighter, I’m a lava. Why don’t we just erase the slate and call it even.
Very, are you really that igneous to think rocks evolve? Well, I’ll be magmanomous and chalk it up to your sedimentary lifestyle.
Jeeze.
One of my favorite bumper stickers:
In the event of the rapture, can I have your car?
# 12 Ah_Yea said, on February 18th, 2010 at 5:50 pm
PETA
For the Win!
No one knows when the Rapture will happen. We Christians do not know if it will be in our lifetimes or ten thousand years from now. I am not paying someone to take care of a pet that may die before the rapture happens.
Besides, we’ll be busy setting up our mansions in the New Jerusalem that we won’t give our pets a second thought.