A new level of control freakishness from Apple, methinks.

A US gamer has been banned from ever buying another iPad. Why? He reached his “lifetime limit”.

Who knew that such a limit existed?

Using the handle Protocol Snow, the now-banned iPad buyer tells his story of intrigue in a personal blog post.
[...]
It seems Snow wanted to pass a few iPads to fellow NeoGAF gaming forum members outside the US who were craving their own “magical and revolutionary” devices, but whose hopes had been dashed by Apple’s decision to delay international iPad sales by a month.

And so, being a Good iSamaritan, he took it upon himself to buy multiple iPads and ship them to his fellow gamers, charging them only enough extra to cover tax, shipping, insurance, and Paypal credit card fees.

But it was not to be. After buying just a few iPads and shipping them off to his friends, Snow was thwarted in his attempt to continue his mission of multitouch mercy.

[...]
After two Apple Employees – identified in the tale as Guy #1 and Guy #2 – check his identity via credit card, Guy #2 informs him: “There is a limit to the number of iPads that customers can buy.” Our protagonist ask what that limit might be, and Guy #2 answers: “Only 2 per customer.”

At that point, Guy #1 returns, and the conversation takes on a Kafkaesque quality:

* Guy #1: I’m sorry sir, but you have reached your lifetime limit of iPad purchases and will not be allowed to buy any more.
* Me: Is the iPad limit per person? Per credit card? Per household?
* Guy #1: All I can say is that you have reached your lifetime limit.
* Me: What does that mean? Can I use a different credit card to buy it? I’m buying this for a friend.
* Guy #1: You are not allowed to buy this iPad.
* Me: Uhh… is it okay if I have a family member or friend come to buy it for me? My reservation doesn’t expire until 6:00pm.
* Guy #1: All I can say is that you have reached your lifetime limit.
* Me: Wait, what? Lifetime? What does that mean?
* Guy #1: All I can say is that you have reached your lifetime limit of iPads and will not be allowed to buy any more.
* Me: I’m banned from buying iPads? I know there’s a shortage right now, but I can’t buy any more once there’s plenty of stock?
* Guy #1: All I can say is that you have reached your lifetime limit.
* Me: Okay buddy, I’m not going to make a scene so I’m leaving. How many iPads is the limit by the way?
* Guy #1: That information is not available.
* Me (looking at Guy #2, who has been silent this whole time): He tells me that the limit is two.
* Guy #1: I wish I could say but I do not have that information.
* Me: I’ve already purchased more than two iPads. Why didn’t anybody else stop me in the past?
* Guy #1: I wish I could say but I do not have that information.
* Me: Alright, I’ve had enough. Have a good day.