Spectators to this must be like those who go to car races to see the wrecks. Only in this case pretty much everyone comes out of it needing some body work.

Okay kids, today’s activity is to go down to your local Pizza Hut, have the oven set for 261° and insert your body into it. The tips of your ears start to ignite. The backs of your arms scream. Your throat burns as if somebody had stuck a tiki torch down it. Your lips feel bitten by large, unseen raccoons. And you haven’t hit 30 seconds.

Now do it for 10 minutes or more, and that’s what it’s like to compete in quite possibly the world’s dumbest sport: the Sauna World Championships.

I know. I entered.
[...]
You’d be amazed at how much fun it is to watch a grown man come apart like a $9 sweater. A Belarusian started out sane, just sitting there. Every 30 seconds a pitiless stream of water came out from a ceiling shower in the center of the sauna and splashed on the molten-hot rocks, creating a 100% humidity level in the room that would melt gold. About two minutes in our man started rocking a little. At three his eyes started blinking oddly. At four he began twitching. At five his eyes got huge. At six he started swallowing each breath like a gulp of scorching soup. Then he started glancing around wildly, as if to say to the others, Are you mad? Don’t you see what’s happening? They’ve locked us in a Crock-Pot! He started wiping his eyes and mouth. He moved his hands out toward his thighs to rub them, then realized that’s not allowed and did so anyway, crazily, as though he were covered in lice. The judges flagged him once, then twice. Then he lurched for the door, and he was out. Sanity and cool air whooshed back into his brain, and suddenly he was normal and smiling again.




  1. The0ne says:

    #19
    The comment is made because of recent surveys of Nascar attendee’s. Many of them attend the races for the wrecks. Sadly, people then take this and apply to whatever sports they see fit. Ignore them, there is nothing you can do to persuade them.

    I love Rally races. I love the different terrains, the different car setups for them, the speed at which they zoom through some dense and dangerous courses O.o It’s all thrilling. I don’t like seeing any driver get into wrecks.



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