I get to the airport, boarded my plane and I’m sitting in first class. The flight attendant was right in front of me and was curious if they were going to serve meals onboard. So I asked her, “Are you serving any meals during our flight?”

She looked at me kinda funny and said, “I can’t answer that for security reasons.”
[...]
About three minutes later, two armed Austin police officers boarded the plane, looked at me and said, “Sugarman, follow us.”
[...]
“Why” I asked.

“You apparently asked the flight attendant if the Police were onboard,” said the United representative. We’re not taking any chances and the captain asked that you be removed.”

“But I only asked her if a meal was being served,” I said. Only to be told that it was her word against mine and the Captain was not going to take any chances based on what the flight attendant claims I said.
[...]
As I stepped off the ramp into the boarding area still in shock over what happened, the customer service representative was there to book me on the next flight, which was two hours later.
[...]
Question? If I was too dangerous to fly on my original flight why did they book me on the next United flight.

The flight attendant couldn’t ask him to repeat what he said to be sure? Guess it’s time to not say a word to anyone on flights to ensure you aren’t misunderstood.

Lessons learned: I guess my business now goes to American where I am also a million mile flyer. Maybe I’ll get a lot more respect. [...] And remember, next time you fly, don’t ask if they are serving a meal on board.