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New Jersey’s newest self-ordained censor |
Rev. Cedric A. Miller has had it with what he says Facebook is doing to couples coming to him for help and is giving his married church leaders until Sunday to get off the social-network website or resign their posts.
Miller…said a large percentage of his counseling over the past year and a half has been for marital problems, including infidelity, stemming from Facebook…There was no problem when people just met with friends from high school in a platonic way.
But that has changed, he said, and now people are reigniting old passions and connecting with people who should stay in the past. He said a marriage can be going along fine when someone from the past breaks through and trouble begins.
“It’s to the point now that this Sunday, anyone in our church in a leadership position and who is married and is on Facebook has to resign their church position if they do not give up Facebook,” said Miller…
“The average citizen is going to see my action as controlling, not that I care about that,” Miller said. “I’m not concerned with being politically correct. I’m trying to save families and marriages…”
Do you as an individual feel yourself so ignorant and unlearned about decision-making that you need a friendly neighborhood saviour telling you how to behave, how to manage your personal life.
Do you need a church-based “filter” governing what in the world you are allowed to read or see or hear?
While myself, i think what you do on your own time is your own, i may be able to offer a tiny insight into this seemingly sub-orwellian request.
I do mostly house call tweak/fix/viral lockdown work on pc’s in nyc..since the 90′s. my clients run the gammut.
Since about december 2009, i have had a **huge** uptick in requests from clients who run small business and esp the new “just add water” private security “consultants” on how to circumvent facebook privacy controls so that they can monitor what their clients or employees are posting on their facebook pages. The most commonly “framed” reason is that they want to make sure their employees are not posting company secrets or dirt on the CEO’s or upper management. Out of work “entrepreneurs” and “concerned spouses” make up the balance.
the amount of requests is such that you could call it a “growth industry”
the body language i get from some of those asking indicates other intentions are in play.
(i have always refused any work or “friendly advise” which involves snooping on someone else on principle. -ie, mind your own friggen business)
anyway you slice it, its a disturbing trend.
anyway, its food for thought.
-s
It must be about all the cybersex, and sexting on Facebook. They will only move on to other services, like Adult Friend Finder!
He has a point, many relationships are damaged by people pulling up a past on Facebook that is probably better left in the past. I don’t agree with requiring church leaders to not be on it. However, he is correct to point out the dangers and encourage couples to be careful pulling up a past they may not be prepared to deal with.
I’ve seen many marriages damaged or suffer because someone reconnects with an old fling, forgetting the reasons they aren’t with that person and making a mistake thinking the grass is greener on the other side. It is easy to take the position that couples should avoid it after seeing many relationships damaged as a result.
Next he will want you to give up your Internet porn!
Seriously though, If you are one of those that feel the need to attend religious services by all means please opt out of secular society and the Internet.
Facebook does cause the trouble he is talking about between married people. A lot of people do end up committing adultery.
I was about to meet for coffee with an old acquaintance, but I asked her first if she was going to tell her husband who she was meeting with. When she said no, I decided we probably shouldn’t meet and canceled the meeting. I wouldn’t want to cause any problems in that situation.
Is it fair to force everyone who is married off Facebook? I don’t know. My preacher and the church staff uses Facebook to reach out to the community. The staff is pretty trustworthy. My church does have quite a few unpaid staff members as well.
I just think honesty between a husband and wife is important and you should not be doing anything on Facebook that would get you in trouble with your husband or wife.
Benji–forced? Yea, I went to the mall last night and was forced to choose between two different movies, then forced about choosing between what candy to get, what size popcorn and then to top it all off, I was forced to decide whether to drive my car home, call a cab, or walk.
Why does everything have to be forced down our throats these days??
#11
NO he is NOT the boss.
Jesus is the BOSS.
And Jesus clearly stated that a THING cannot cause sin.
And please don’t start the society is going down fast routine. It NEVER crawled out of the swamp to the way Jesus said to live in the first place.
#18
That is NOT his job.
Righteousness is NOT to come from another man. IT is to come from God. If you are NOT listening to God and not receiving that righteousness then no amount of banning dancing, drinking, gambling, facebook, twitter or whatever is going help that situation.
I may not believe in the religion, but at LEAST I have read and understood its text. Again this is another man trying to rewrite the manual.
#24
“I was about to meet for coffee with an old acquaintance, but I asked her first if she was going to tell her husband who she was meeting with. When she said no, I decided we probably shouldn’t meet and canceled the meeting. I wouldn’t want to cause any problems in that situation.”
AND THAT IS HOW YOU DO IT! Thank you!
It is not that you should stop using it. Just that you should NOT sew trouble with your choices. A THING cannot choose for you. We are ALWAYS the final arbiter.
Thank you Benjamin!
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Religion is a club. You join the club, you follow the rules. If you don’t like them, you leave. As long as the church focuses its governing to its congregation and leaves the outside world along, I don’t care what websites they allow.
Divorce rates among conservative Christians is significantly higher than other faith groups, and much higher than agnostics or atheists. Barna Research Group 1999
This pastor is attacking the symptoms, not the cause.
#25 Benjamin, that’s an excellent way to do it. If people hide their get-togethers from their significant other, there’s something fishy going on.
I was on Second Life for a while, an online world like World of Warcraft but more open-ended, and I saw lots of marriages wrecked there.
My ex is a therapist, and she says the next edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual, version five (DSM-V), which psychologists and psychiatrists use to diagnose people, is going to have “Internet Addiction” as a disease.
So this guy has a point, even if he’s kind of ham-handed in how he’s trying to address it.
its a disturbing trend sb it’s
its food for thought sb it’s
one m in gamut
philosophy at it’s finest sb its
Self riotous LOL
he’s right, facebook is EVIL and has ruined many a job and relationship.
the whole thing should be shut down to save society
He’s only talking about church leaders. And only married ones at that. He’d lose too many clients if he tried to impose that on his flock. That said, if I worked for him, I’d simply defriend him and change my facebook name slightly.
Apparently, Cedric Miller enjoys the occasional threesome. Now that’s what I call friending somebody. I see a new Facebook forming: Butt Pirates for God.