At Las Vegas International Airport, TSA supervisor [REDACTED] is keeping travelers safe from the terror of delicious cupcakes-in-a-jar. I learned this firsthand earlier today, when I put myself and my fellow travelers at risk by attempting to travel with one.

The agent who first found my dangerously delectable snack consulted [REDACTED] about it just barely within my earshot. He responded hesitantly at first, saying that he was “not sure”–and “with the holidays coming, it’s getting harder and harder.” When he finally decided my treat was a no-go, I asked to speak with him directly, and he asserted that the frosting on this red velvet cupcake is “gel-like” enough to constitute a liquid, in part because it “conforms to its container.” Also: it “should have been in a zip-lock.” At this, I offered to scoop my dangerously conformist cupcake out of its jar and place it in a zip-lock bag, where it could mush about to its heart’s content; but Agent [REDACTED] wisely refused. After all, the jar in all its tasty glory “clearly contains more than 3 ounces of total contents,” he said.

A frosted cake would be like a full-fledged bomb to this guy. Taser time!

BTW, here’s an overview of the effectiveness of the TSA’s security theater.