By John C Dvorak
Wednesday September 19, 2012
Why can’t Microsoft do ads like this? To the point, funny, ironic.
Finally someone plays the sheep in line Marketing scheme against Apple…
The Apple fanboys will love this.
Does anybody get the irony that Eve talked Adam into eating an Apple and mankind has suffered ever since?
You know that is a made up story??
Maybe, were you there?
duh365 , no you fail, because I say so and it is. This fact has been spoken and you cannot refute it, because I have spoken. Seriously, the Fed is inventing money, the Middle East is having a fit, Japan and China are sabre rattling. Do you really think this is an arguement to have right now? Wake up people!
Was the author of Genesis there?
Sorry I don’t believe in that story. or god for that matter
I never mentioned what kind of fruit it was.
And the LORD God took the man, and put him into the garden of Eden to dress it and to keep it.
And the LORD God commanded the man, saying, Of every tree of the garden you may freely eat:
But of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, you shall not eat of it: for in the day that you eat thereof you shall surely die.
You got me there. I fibbed about the apple. It could have been a fig or a plum or any fruit.
Funny thing is, after Adam and Eve ate the fruit of the tree, they did not die, obviously.
They didn’t die? Will we see them on the Biography Chanel’s ‘Where Are They Now’ sometime?
Paying an extra $30 a month to use a cellphone.
My mobile phone takes calls, makes calls, cost $40.
My Skype takes calls, makes calls, takes messages, has video conferencing, costs nothing.
My mobile phone is pay-as-you-go and cost $27, but I don’t use it except for emergencies.
I use a paper map for navigation.
I talk to people face to face….
I communicate long distance via smoke signals…
I use the stars for navigation…
What kind of smoke signals do you use?
My smoke signals are binary but there is a new fad for those new morse code smoke signals but I don’t want to jump on the bandwagon just yet until I read Dvorak’s opinion on the subject.
He was spot-on that nobody would want to use those serial mouse thingys.
Actually talking yo people is so old…. I only talk to people via sms & what’s app.
Texting is so 20th century I can’t imagine why anyone would go back to teletypes.
You are so behind the times you might as well use a facsimile machine and write paper checks.
I imagine your voice is the most grating thing imaginable, and people walk away from you as soon as you open your mouth.
Mind you, I can’t stand my voice, but people seek me out for conversations anyway!
Then why you come here looking for conversation? Go back to your corner and wait for people to talk to you
My $20 cellphone does phone calls, text messaging (has a QWERTY keyboard), email, Internet, games, photographs, video, etc etc etc. No recurring monthly charges. Pay as you go. So my question is .. how come you’re paying so much?
MS can’t do ads like that because they have no sense of humor…or a product that can compete.
Everything an oy!phone or an android phone does has been possible to do with winmobile since forever. It’s not our fault you’re too dumb to figure it out.
The bad news is that MS’ current “me too” mac copy frenzy is gonna be the last nail on M S’ coffin
I’d be more impressed if Samsung didn’t just a lose a billion dollars because they copied all of Apple’s ideas.
On the other hand, this was a huge and glorified American company against the evil Asians in an American court, found guilty by a jury of the peers (I guess that means patent experts?)
Aaaaaah, no, they actually copied Apple technology, even against Google’s advice, now maybe you would dismiss Google as another glorified American company, but that dog don’t bark dude. Say something meaningful, contribute, don’t just say dismissive shift that avoids the point that is made.
Another thing, you don’t have to be a patent expert to see that Samsung has the biggest case of Apple penis envy if there ever was one. My goodness don’t they have better things to do than OBSESS over everything Apple?
Nessman, Samsung has moved on. The GS3 blows away the iPhone5.
Samsung has started to move on but they would have never gotten to where they are today without copying Apple. The GS3 might have some better features but “blows away” is an overstatement. Easy Google fanboy…simmer down.
Because mac has never copied anyone. Takes a fanboi to make such bold faux pas.
Wow, do I really have to state the obvious with any comment? I never said Apple doesn’t copy. It’s been rampant throughout tech and almost every other American industry. They are no less innocent than any of their competitors. The sad thing for Samsung is that they actually got in trouble for it. And the one thing they still want to copy from Apple, is their success.
It all comes down to sales or the lack thereof.
They didn’t got in trouble for it, mac got away with that. Again, read what Woz has on his mind about the subject.
Microsoft copies other people’s ideas, too.
The ideas they have copied are too numerous to mention, but the corporation that has the deepest pockets will usually prevail in a patent dispute.
It is not fair and it is not right, but that is how the legal system works.
You’re clearly oblivious to Woz’ feelings on that “win”
As they say on 4chan, “samefag”.
Replying to your own posts using different names is about as fanpsychoboy as it gets.
You can do that?
Ahem. I can do anything.
Except destroy yourself.
Actually…I only made the one comment. If you insist on using bigoted slurs in your accusation, you should at least have something to back it up other than “4chan”.
And in truth, I’m a Linux fanboy before all else. But I used Android for 2 years and absolutely hated it. I’d like to think that it has improved since my last experience, but far too busy to take that chance.
An ad campaign poking fun at the massive popularity of a competitor’s product is stupid. You alienate Apple users from ever becoming a Samsung customer and this type of parody has already been done years before by comedians on YouTube.
The ad agency is as original as Samsung!
A poor macfan showing jealousy byproxy of failed wit.
Actually, just pointing out that the ad agency took the low road for their spot. It’s a derivative campaign inspired (or copied) by what’s already been done on YouTube but with a much bigger budget. If they had tried harder and done their job, they would have come up with an original and memorable campaign that touted the merits of the Samsung product without alienating anyone. That could have been a huge win for them but unfortunately this is a missed opportunity. They are just playing to the hardcore Android fan base.
It’s not your fault that you don’t understand how advertising is supposed to work.
If you reply to the replies of your own post, you lost!
Actually he is talking ad making 101. Never alienate a potential customer. Nothing to do with being a fanboi. Must be what is blinding you to the obvious. Samsungs ad guys suck. They could do much better.
Macfan potential customer of non-mac stuff? You both really have no idea who macfans are.
I think the old guy meme was excellent
What is truly hilarious is that apparently Samsung doesn’t have people waiting in lines for their phones, they could only wish this were true. Think about it, what would they say if people actually lined up outside their retail stores (whoops, they don’t have any, or wait, they stood up a couple in some malls and they looked just like the Apple retail stores) but I digress, ok, so the Samsung fans line up out side of somewhere to buy the Next Big Thing, that is not yet here which is coming next February, what in the world will those little guys going to do at the ad agency? But that won’ happen, because people don’ actually love their Samsung phones, they just hate Apple because it is so dag-gone successful and it irks the shit out of people that they keep kickin ass.
Because waiting in line for a shiny toy is what we all want for our future. Intelligent people behave like that very unlike people waiting for the UN food truck
When you can order the thing and not wait in line waiting in line suggests mental issues or cultish behavior.
macfans haven’t gotten the newsletter from apple telling them online commerce exists. Maybe it’s too old or them.
Thank you Pedro and Deowll, this is getting good.
What’s truly hilarious is that mediocre products wrapped in golden gift wrapping are being sold for skyhigh prices, and the sheeple that are the extremist fanboys will get in line for them every year.
Take a step back.
How many phone products do Apple offer, and how many does any non-Apple phone manufacturer offer? Apple has one product. One product that the fanboys will engage in heavy disputes with friends and family over, because they spent so much money on a product and can’t stand the thought of their decision being questioned, even if the arguments are rational and sound.
Take another step back.
This goes for any fanboy of any product or company. They will iGnore rationality and assume a defensive position to make sure everybody knows that they are “right”, and everyone else is an iDiot if they don’t agree.
Stepping back in.
So what’s the difference between an Apple fanboy and a Samsung, or better yet, Android fanboy? The key difference is ‘choice’. The Apple fanboys will get in line for the upgrade to that one product Apple has to offer, regardless of how minuscule or unimpressive the upgrade is in the grand scheme of things. They don’t have a choice. They devote their spare time (perhaps even their lives and identities) to this one product, and the cultism drives them to screaming “revolutionary” when something new happens in their tiny bubble. Android fanboys are still equally retarded, but at least they have a much grander “tiny” bubble. They can choose their products among the several manufacturers because they all stand under the Android-umbrella, but each manufacturer alone has a line of products, not just one.
And that’s why they (the individual manufacturers) don’t have any actual retail stores – they don’t have the same amount of sheeple as Apple, so it wouldn’t pay off. This doesn’t mean “Apple’s products are great”, it means Apple are fighting in the rain without an umbrella, and that’s why they’re so butthurt and aggressive with patents – they NEED to assert themselves, or they will return to the shadows of Microsoft, and now Google, from where they came.
You say that people “don’t actually love their Samsung phones”, but why should they “love” a product they will be replacing in a couple of years anyway? It’s just a phone. Do you “love” your iPhone so much that it devours your life and your identity? That’s highly worrying, and unfortunately it’s a trend among Apple fanboys. They “love” their phone so much, but it’s not really the phone they love (because better phones exist for lower prices), it’s being part of the once-was “exclusive” Apple club. It’s that feeling of “I have an iPhone too!” that gets you off. So maybe stop pretending to be defending a product when it is in fact your image you are defending. And on that note, stop defining yourself by which phone you spent your money on. It’s just a phone.
Note that all of this comes from a guy who owns a MacBook laptop, a Windows/Linux desktop, and an Android tablet. I use all of them, and they all have their strikes and gutters. None of them do everything I need, so I mix and match, and why shouldn’t I?
What’s truly hilarious, I think, is people’s dedication to defending their investments in products they will be replacing in a couple of years. What’s truly hilarious is that instead of being objective and rational, people subscribe to this idiotic notion that one brand is definitively better than another, instead of scanning the scene at the time of need. It’s hilarious and disgustingly pathetic at the same time.
What’s truly hilarious, I think, is that this post comes from a guy who owns an iPhone 4 and an iPhone 5. I didn’t wait in line for the 5, and I’m not defending it. I see all the good things and all the bad things. I see where it excels and where it falls short. I can see why people would want it, and I can see why other people wouldn’t.
Why can’t you?
TL;DR: If you abandon rationality in the pursuit of an identity through the products you buy, your arguments have no merit.
But you don’t understand.
I go to sleep with my iPhone under my pillow. I wake up in the morning with my iPhone in my hand.
I twitter and tweet and go out to eat with my iPhone.
My iPhone is me. I am my iPhone.
Goo goo g’ joob
I sleep with a SIG P228 under my pillow in case I wake up in the middle of the night and need to kill myself
Excellent post! I couldn’t have said it better even if I had the time to. Thanks.
Apple’s ad campaign with the snarky Apple boy and the old fashioned IBM guy did the same thing but it did not alienate the IBM/Microsoft people. Though it was entertaining until the schtik got old. Beware Samsung.
JCD, that’s beyond stupid – once again.
First of all, who was the guy, who said on twit that it looks stupid holding a tablet to your head?
Second: we all know you dislike Apple, but why do you support a couple of korean-copy-monkeys? American outfits like Apple, Microsof(sometimes)t, etc innovate, there’s nothing new that came out of korea the last couple of decades.
Third: remember when Microsoft destroyed the PDA-market with the same bigger, faster, more colerful tactic? Yeah you had Compag PDAs that played movies, music and could even surf a bit, but when you wanted to read something, check the calendar, or lookup a contact, the thing was out of power…useful.
Fourth: why am I falling for your stupid linkbaid?
It looks stupid holding a cellphone to your head but as long as everybody does it that makes it okay.
The same is true of tattoos and nose rings.
MS wouldlnt have gained traction if Palm hadnt dropped the ball.
You cant blame WinMo for filling a vacuum.
I agree. I was such a Palm fan in the day! I often wonder why they aren’t the rulers of the mobile market.
Has John written an article on Palm? He should, if he hasn’t.
Palm Pre+ forever!
They will have to pry my Pre from my cold dead hand…… or wait till Verizon cancels unlimited data.
Of course this month I did not use even half of my unlimited data…(?)
Marcus, what’s a Linkbaid? Am I stupid? You must be an enlightened fanboi who knows words we don’t.
Clearly a typo. And you are kind of stupid for jumping on someone for it.
I am the last person to criticise typos!
But I didn’t get what a “linkbaid” was, either.
Thank’s the the genius of Google typo correction, I figured out it was “linkbait.”
I have beceome very dependent on Google auto-corretion feature. Dependent and sloppy!
No, I was being a smart ass, because he deserved it. I’ve given up on most casual conversation here, because everybody is so up tight. It was a joke, I’m going to work on being funnier in the future, because we’re seriously screwed and the only thing we can do is laugh.
Whoever undertakes to set himself up as a judge of Truth and Knowledge is shipwrecked by the laughter of the gods.
– Albert Einstein
The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter.
– Mark Twain
Fifth: isn’t this the the fifth name you’ve used in this post?
Lighten up douchie. Geez.
This attempt is better than the previous one where an idiot got into a movie theater’s projection booth, what a lame ad that one is.
Bunch of butthurt americunts and ifags crying about this ad is quite hilarious. Samsung has done a very good job making fun of these monkeys.
Americans are funny in a crazy kind of way.
Imagine being an American and having to tolerate these monkeys.
I am thinking of moving to Russia where punk bands can sing whatever they want wherever they want and not go to prison for it.
orchidcup, iLemmings, toss a crApple product off a cliff in front of them and see how many jump to save it. It’s actually sad and pathetic.
It’s actually sad and pathetic that you feel the need to focus your life on disliking people that buy different retail products. You should come out of your mom’s basement from time to time. The fresh air will do you some good.
That’s what you think about people worried about your mental health?
I couldn’t tell mharry was so concerned for the wellbeing of others with all of the iHate. Maybe his boss will give him back his red stapler and calm will be restored.
duh365 , WOW, being a 50 year old parent of 2 young daughters and having owned an iPhone 4 that’s absolutely egregious. I know what I’m talking about, I’ve owned smart phones since the original Palm phone.
Yep. Russia. Hotbed of innovation there.
I think he’s being sarcastic. I hope so. Pussycat being in the news and all.
Pussy Riot gave me a new hobby, watching how many different ways CNN can refer to them without using the word “Pussy”.
We did invent AK47.
You invented the Gulag, too.
Samsuck S3 looks pretty nice but it’s about the maturity of Android. When i got the iPhone 4, android was still flaky.
DUllas: a (i)sheep by any other name
Dallas, I have an S2 with ICS and it’s still flaky, but I would never go back to the prison of an iPhone, ever! IOS doesn’t do the contact and calender search that every smartphone previous to it did. I could go on for several paragraphs, I won’t.
My husband and I will upgrade/renew in january. I must say I love my iPhone 4 but desire (not need) a bigger screen, better camera, zippier performance and 4G.
The iPhone 5 delivers all except for the bigger screen I’d like. I’ll check out the Samsung offering and see if Android doesn’t suck like it did 2 years ago.
I would agree that iPhone is getting somewhat stale at the outset. Still , there’s no denying iPhone is the Rolex of the smartphones
A sheep thru 7 thru. You should make the line to show your true allegiance to the brand
Dallas, you have to get it in your hand and use to see if it works for you. Don’t listen to anybody else about what they think. I thought the iPhone would work for me and it didn’t. I’m used to a certain set of capabilities that iOS can’t do and I suffered 18 months of hell for it.
If that were the unemployment line, this could be an ad mocking Obamabots.
They’re currently raffling off tickets for the Last Dinner with Obama.
NFS==remembering these Halcyon days of Summer detumescening into fall, what will your position be when Rmoney is soundly defeated?
Will you learn anything at all from this actual real life experience in your own life? Or will it all be a liberal media lie?
Its one thing to be adamant about question of opinion or preference such as you cannot be likewise faulted for proclaiming that Rmoney loves poor people as the stock from which he rose himself. Can’t be disproven.
Why the full double down Monty on Rmoney winning this election which is falsifiable and a matter of prediction when right now any haruspication weights against it?
Really, going thru life this moronically is no way to go.
But so many do.
Wow, you don’t follow the news at all, do you?
Or worse, you watch Fox.
(Seriously! They’ve studied it. Fox followers are dumber about the news than people who don’t watch the news at all!)
Your fixation with Fox is duly noted. Seems as if you were betrayed by them.
The best dig was the guy holding the spot for his parents.
Apple has always had that anomaly about Apple. Apple markets to hipsters but the elederly tend to use their products as well.
Obviously it’s retread of last year’s commercial. Samsung is now copying themselves.
That really disgusting one with the fat white guy?
Make a good googlebomb huh?
Interesting. I haven’t been drinking for a few days, so I think I was responding to some guy saying some other guy was something.
So….it looks like an editor deleted a post as being libelous to the subject mentioned? Fair enough—-especially if it WAS the fat white guy.
I post again because the subject was about the last time I actually was personally surprised/shocked/disgusted by something. It was good to know I was still alive and conscious to what was going on around me.
Thank you, DU.
This video can be used as both the before Obama ad and the mocking ad.
Why the hell did you post that?! I just puked!
That is the biggest piece of crap ever made. They really do think we are that stupid.
Ha, ha. Everyone knows pledge is a floor wax: on your knees!!!
I do think there must have been 2-3 different directors on that clip. It veered into and out of self parody.
It is a good ad. It’s like a Timex ad mocking Rolex.
“We tell time too, bigger watch, sold everywhere”
Microsoft doesn’t appear to care to say what their product does, as they do what it’s called. They keep using the name “Microsoft Surface”, for things that are obviously just clones of the iPad and iTouch. And nobody is going to want a coffee table sized computer, except in movies. Which is what the “Surface” was original marketed as, and on. You can see one on CBS’s “Hawaii Five-O” series. Though it’s probably a fake.
And you’ll see no digital tablets, on that show. Because Microsoft, their sponsor, doesn’t make one yet. But when they do. They’ll be sure to call it “Surface”. This is Microsoft’s way of backdating their technology, before the competition’s product. Kind of like how breweries and bakeries, have “Established” dates, regardless of how much their product changes.
And that’s the sum of Microsoft’s marketing strategy. Long term branding. What their product actually does. Is too ephemeral a quality, for them to bother advertising about.
Comments from (sadly) known macfans about the “revolutionary” new phone: It feels good on the hand.
Gawd, what a bunch of childish sheep.
You are so awesome! I do not suppose I’ve read through something like this before. So nice to find another person with unique thoughts on this topic. Seriously.. many thanks for starting this up. This web site is something that is needed on the web, someone with some originality!
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