Just in case plain old hating Messicans wasn’t enough reason to oppose immigration reform, Texas wingnut extraordinaire Cathie Adams, the former state GOP chair and current president of Texas Schlafly Rangers Eagle Forum, has found a new reason: on something called “End Times Radio” last week, she explained that the Senate’s immigration bill legislates the Mark of the Beast, and will bring about the End Times.

Leaving aside the question of why that’s something Christianists want to delay — after all, it will get Jebus back here sooner — it feels like wingnuts are finding impending signs of the Apocalypse about as often as the House votes to kill Obamacare (which may or may not require you to have an RFID chip implanted in your butt, too).

So far, Adams has been a minor-league wingnut, but she’s got big dreams, and big ideas. There was her warning last December that smoking the marijuana will fry your brain and turn you into Barack Obama, and her more recent endorsement of the theory that Grover Norquist is a sekrit Muslim, and now we have her discovery of Devil Marks in immigration reform, because the Senate bill includes a requirement for “biometric scanning”:

“And, of course, we know in biblical prophecy that that is the End Times,” Adams said of the initiative. “That is going to be the brand either on our foreheads or on the back of our hands. That is demonic through and through. That is End Times prophecy. There is no question about that…”

In a further explosion of derp, Adams also worried that the Senate’s immigration bill would promote “sharia law” by flooding America with scary refugees…

We aren’t sure whether to run screaming or adopt her as a mascot.

Apparently, the central task of every Christian voter in the Neo-Confederacy and beyond is to elect incompetents to public office instead of giving them a sheltered workshop wherein to toil and spin without endangering anyone else.

  1. B. Dog says:

    I’m not sure she’s right, but hey, why take a chance?

    • Peace and Love says:

      Given Obama is the by far most incompetent and corrupt president for at least a century then taking a chance on an upside down mop in a bucket would be a vast improvement.

      • Peace and Love says:

        Will Eidiot be the last Kool Aid drinking believer in Barack fairytales? Is he expecting some kind of reward of 40 virgins in the Promised Land of hope and change when the endtimes comes?

        • Peace and Love says:

          Will he be saved from the Great Global Warming sent to punish the evil sinful humans?

  2. So What? says:

    No, no, no, a social security number is the mark of the beast, it’s nine digits and a nine upside down is a six and six six six is the mark of the beast.

  3. Tim says:

    No, Mrs. Adams. Smoking the marijuana does not make one turn into Barack Obama. Stuffing cannabis up your rectum, lighting it on fire, and pretending your vericose-veined butt is the Shining City on the Hill with its’ painfully-paltry smoldering soothole centerpiece as it’s Guiding Light of Liberty like some assjuice-fueled carbide lamp minus the carbide would make you Barack Obama.

    • bobbo, we think with words, and flower with ideas says:

      Thats down right poetic! Not quite lying down in Elysium Fields, but fitting for the subject matter. I guess you do need Santorum in a non-agitated state to get it to ignite?

      • Tim says:

        I don’t think Rick Scrotorum was ever anything but a made up, last minute shill for the medicated asshats to save the historic Iowa representation for ‘choosing’ a president. I remember how Ron Paul was set to win and when I did an Alexa compare on the two sites, Santorum’s had just magically appeared two days earlier and shot straight up the rankings. It fell to zero two days after. Ron Paul won Iowa hands down — not Rick Scrotorum.

      • Tim says:

        Homer would more likely inunciate as “venous-ulcer’d bulbous bastion of bruised and blackened buttock” but here is something more contemporary from the top of the query:


  4. msbpodcast says:

    Well, that confirms it.

    The repubes are officially crazy, bat-shit crazy.

    And that picture of that bat-shit crazy woman must be their idea of contraception. (Would you do this bat-shit crazy broad?)

    • So What? says:

      I ignored the picture until you brought it up and the first thing I thought of was this.


    • Dallas says:

      Why are republicans such drama queens ? Everything’s a frigg’n apocalypse .

      • ± says:

        You vote R/D.

        Do you proudly swagger with your thumbs in your suspenders for your part in the governance you have helped to hire?

        • Judas says:

          …Not suspenders. One thumb’s in his mouth while the other is in his ASS!


  5. msbpodcast says:

    instead of giving them a sheltered workshop

    You know the repubes don’t believe in any kind of charity.

    Instead they want to create a work program with exercise built in.

    They want to use those who can’t run fast enough to get away for target practice.

    • dusanmal says:

      Numbers, facts dear msbpodcast. Facts that repeat year after year, decade after decade: people who define themselves as Republicans or Conservatives voluntarily give to charity about an order of magnitude more than self-professed Liberals/Progressives/Democrats.
      And the reason is simple – it is in the very basic perception of individual responsibility Conservatives demand vs. concept that BigGovernment is the one with responsibility on the Left. Charity is voluntary help from ones own beliefs. BigGovernement mandated redistribution removes act of charity by definition.
      And to paraphrase that Bible Conservatives so much like: It was the poor widow VOLUNTARY decision from her hart to donate her last money that count and is laudable. It was not “Yo, poor widow, give your money to the Caesar and he’ll redistribute it or we will arrest you”. Yes, Caesar gets what is Caesars … read that again … “what is Caesars” not “what belongs to someone else to be redistributed by Caesar”. And Caesar at the time got 10%. Government likely deserves that much for it’s function.
      Truly Conservative solution: allow new 11 million LEGAL immigrants from all around World while heavily criminalizing employment of illegals (I’d say 10 years in jail for the boss and seizing of the business). Because I am immigrant. I know good people back in home country waiting in the proper line, having easy opportunities to sneak in. Refusing. Because they have moral fiber. And I know illegal immigrants in my national community. Wouldn’t trust them with a dog. And I am sure same applies across all various immigrant communities. Right now, we have 11 million of the worst of the worst while we could have 11 millions of the best.

      • bobbo, we think with words, and flower with ideas says:

        dusanmal==pretty decent post. Why the change?

        1. I do see that reported all the time–Cons giving more than the Libs. I wonder how “exactly” that is calculated? I’m thinking now…..one way would surely be tax return analysis? BWHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

        Tell me another one?

        2. Just a note–Reza Aslan was interviewed by John Fugelsan. He said the “Render unto Cesar” meant give Cesar back his gold coins as they belong to Cesar. Rome made gold coins and they were used as “cash” always is. The point of the saying according to Aslan was that the Jews should stick to their extended family/tribe bartering ways. I’m always amused when people want to understand old documents (think US Constitution for several good examples) by applying the current meanings of what are in effect homographs.

        I think the value of immigration in a country without frontiers is very debatable. My gut says that when an economy is suffering from lack of jobs having open immigration doesn’t make much sense. But as a liberal….. I’m open to the countervailing facts/analysis.

      • Tim says:

        “render unto Caesar”

        Who’s name is on that? Who’s inscription? — Yea, I do think it was a kind of chiding to get with the program. Sort of a J.C. and the Boys’ way of saying ‘sux to be you if you have to ask.’

        Now, *render* in this day and age more means to make or transform what is at hand to what is required or desired– I don’t think Jesus was advocating counterfeiting.

        The bugaboo comes in the hypothetical that I have a mexican fighting pit bull with customized body armor who’s name just happens to be Czar and then I ‘render’ him upon the guys with the funny masks. He renders me their balls but I get shot anyways. Pros and cons.

        Anyways, I’m convinced that they shoot the dogs as priority one because that traumatized beast is going to ‘strongly alert’ on their scent out in public — which they would not like. That is what the stupid masks are for and it is not like they are at walmart with their balls strapped on {most of the time}.

        • bobbo, we think with words, but too often end up in dog fights says:

          THATS what I was trying to say. Stupid Reza Aslan with his book learning and fluency in Biblical Greek ((huh?)).

          “I learned all I needed to know at the dog fights.” //// Words to live by.

          • Tim, thinking chicken fights with knives, gaffs, and b-12 blown up their butts is cruel says:

            I yeild, sir, that that is what you were trying to say. Equivalence principle — same thing, others may understand with how it’s presented better than the other but still just like the ‘nother.

      • Cap'n Kangaroo says:

        dusanmal said

        “people who define themselves as Republicans or Conservatives voluntarily give to charity about an order of magnitude more than self-professed Liberals/Progressives/Democrats”

        You do understand the concept of “order of magnitude” don’t you? The difference between the two values should be roughly 10 times. As in 250 to 25 is an order of magnitude difference.

        Yet when I searched for info on the disparity you allege, I came up with numbers like $1600 versus $1200. This from an article by the conservative writer George Will.

        A disparity, yes, but nowhere near an “order of magnitude”.

  6. Mextli says:

    I didn’t even know we had a “Neo-Confederacy”. No one can ever accuse this Ed. of being inconsistent.

  7. bobbo, when desire is frustrated by bias, sometimes all you have to do is LOOK says:

    Hmmmm, several hours on the immigration issues facing USA today. Yada, yada. No one mentioning what always made the news last year: employer sanctions.

    Ya gotta love dat Tea Party.

  8. Captain Obvious says:

    Cathie Adams may be ugliest cross-dressing guy I’ve ever seen. John Goodman even looks better.

  9. Dallas says:

    So how how many Mexicans does it take to ……oh shit, they’re done!

  10. bracketcreep says:

    ” Adams also worried that the Senate’s immigration bill would promote “sharia law” by flooding America with scary refugees…

    In a way she’s right. Liberty, security, diversity – pick TWO. Anyone who believes otherwise hasn’t thought about it much, or has trouble noticing things right in front of his nose.

    And anyone who says unchecked immigration is a good thing either stands to be personally enriched by it, or is hopelessly naive. Those who use terms such as “Messicans” to marginalize non-PC viewpoints can be either.

    • Hyph3n says:

      She is in no way right, because she’s not using the Apocalypse as a metaphor. She means it will bring on the actual Apocalypse. So unless you are saying the Four Horseman are trying to sneak across the border, she’s wrong.

  11. JudgeHooker says:

    Hmm, this “article” starts with quotes. Who is the addled fool that wrote the original article? What’s the source? And who was addled enough to select it as bait for this blog? The real wingnuts are the folks that do this to the blog. Save your bandwidth for stuff that matters and stay away from what you think religion is.

  12. NewformatSux says:

    Liberals deliberately remade Britain with massive immigration. Only afterwards did Tony Blair have some second thoughts because of all the Muslims brought in.

  13. sargasso_c says:

    Scratch a Texan, you’ll find a Mexican inside.

  14. Dallas says:

    I wonder if that Jack O’lantern looking bitch floats?

  15. I think Adams is missing the boat on this. Let’s force every illegal alien to take the Mark of the Beast and give them a one-way ticket on the Hyperloop to Hell (with apologies to Elon Musk).

    Some Christians like Adams seem to want to postpone the End Times at any cost, while others go out of their way to make sure all conditions have been fulfilled in an effort to hasten the apocalyptic return of the savior…

    Just another example where silly Christians can’t seem to agree, and having a personal relationship with the Creator of the Universe doesn’t seem to clarify their thinking in the least.


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