Thank you, mister pimp, for this. If it weren’t for you, I could have gone off to work today, blissfully ignorant of the damage my shoes could have caused to some poor, unsuspecting soul. Oh wait. They aren’t Nike’s and mine had no warning. Now what?

A Portland pimp is suing Nike for not placing a warning label in their shoes specifying that they could be used as a dangerous weapon — after he was sentenced to 100 years in prison for brutally beating a john with his sneaker. Sirgiorgio Clardy, 26, claims Nike should have placed a warning in the shoes warning consumers that the kicks have the potential to be used as a

dangerous weapon, according to The Oregonian newspaper. Clardy is seeking $100 million for what he believes was the shoe manufacturer’s oversight. In June, Clardy repeatedly stomped on the face of a client with his Jordan Nike shoes when the man refused to pay Clardy’s prostitute. The man required stitches and plastic surgery after the beating.

  1. Ben Dover says:

    Wait ’til the pimp finds out where that size 12 Nike ends up once he’s in prison.

  2. Captain Obvious says:

    Joe Pesci is also suing the Parker Pen company.

  3. B. Dog says:

    Why don’t you weasels just pay the hooker?

    • So What? says:

      Because I requested a petite redhead and I got a midget in a wig.

      • noname says:

        Because there are no hazard warnings on furniture, I think it’s safe to walk bare foot, but; when I do, I sometimes stub my toes on furniture.

        How much can I sue Ethan Allen for?

        Because there are no hazard warnings on iron skillets or people’s heads, I think it’s safe to smack people around, but; when I do smack some idiot upside the head with an iron skillet, they look hurt? The do it all the time on TV, in the cartoons!

        How much can I sue the idiot for not having a tattooed head warning and/or the American Culinary Corporation for?

        Also, don’t tell anyone, but I took my mattress tags off!

        What about when I do grievous bodily harm when I zip my fly and I get myself stuck?

        • So What? says:

          So your head is small enough to fit in your fly. That explains quite a bit about you.

          • noname says:

            Poor pitiful “So What?” still repressed, degenerate and desperate; again with your Freudian slips ups “head is small enough to fit in your fly”.

            Guess it’s what’s on your mouth or mind! If only someone could withstand what you call “your special cologne” and help you!

            Did mommy abandon you?

  4. super77 says:

    I love how we can sue for anything in this great nation of ours. The judge should take this guys shoe and smack him in the face with it. What a waste of time.

  5. Tim says:

    When that knockoff footwear spam rolls onto here in a couple of days, will Uncle Dave catch it?

  6. Ed Insultivan says:

    We’re gonna have a really big SHEW!

  7. Traaxx says:

    Are you guys forgetting the shoe bombs that now require us to remove our shoes when we go to airports.

    Read in between the lines, this is the first step in requiring us to remove our shoes when the police pull us over or question us. Imagine: “A police officer stops you as you are walking down the street and demands you remove your shoes and step onto the dirty/crappy sidewalk”, next you have to remove your belt because is Nikes are weapons then a belt sure is ( remember all the action movies where the hero kills the Evil Legion of Doom with just a belt and a Swiss Army Knife ) and if you refuse then you’re find yourself charged with weapons possession that or be humiliated while you are forced strip whenever the police decide it’s your turn :)))



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