talking dog

Hey Jackass, where is my water?

The Nordic Society for Invention and Discovery is the brains behind “No More Woof” — technology that aims to distinguish canine thought patterns and then issue them as short sentences via a microphone.

“The brainwaves differ quite a lot from different races as well as individual dogs,” NSID writes on their website. “However it is possible to detect some common patterns and we have no doubt that in the future this technology will open up a vast new era of communication between dogs and humans, or animals in general and humans.”



  1. The Monster's Lawyer says:

    Bone, bone, bone, bone, bone, bone, bone. Squirrel! ummm, my butt tastes good….hey i think i’ve smelt that ass before…..bacon, bacon, bacon, bacon, bone, bone, hey let me out, hey let me in….where the hell is that fat ass human with my food?

  2. Cetus says:

    My mutt keeps yelling, “Dogs, Dogs and Dogs – Lets vote for dogs!”
    He still believes in politics, bless him. Just off to punch him in the mouth.

  3. bobbo, the pragmatic existential evangelical anti-theist says:

    This tech is covered in its application to hoomans in “Through the Wormhole–”Can Our Brains be Hacked.” They scan the brain and note where 10,000 location of increased or decreased blood flow occur and can build a “dictionary” of base words. With that dictionary, the physically disabled can control machines and communicate in a new and exciting way.

    Its science fiction TODAY!!!! and it will only get better as the science improves. Making a dog communicator is a nice commercial twist I hadn’t thought about. But if you don’t already know what your dog wants, you aren’t really paying attention at all. A dog mind reader for those good folks without a mind of their own??

  4. Say Kai Lee says:

    “technology that aims to distinguish canine thought patterns and then issue them as short sentences via a microphone”

    Ummm…. doesn’t sound go INTO a microphone, and come out from a speaker?

    What’s the word I’m looking for here on DU… Oh yeah, that’s it

    MORANS!

  5. Gasbag says:

    Someone been watch the movie Up to many times ; )

  6. Cap'n Kangaroo says:

    Wasn’t there a serial killer who said he did it because he listened to what his dog told him?

  7. jim g says:

    I call BS on this story

  8. Supreme Ultrahuman (I see the comment system is still designed for retards.) says:

    “mmmmm, that one dropped a turd. I shall eat it and it will be good. Then, I’ll lick my butt then I’ll try to kiss my human…”

  9. Glenn E. says:

    This has got to be a scam. Not real science. The idea that some wired up dog brains are going to make a “voice box” work, the same way those collars did in the Disney movie “UP!”, is pure fantasy. It keeps the dog labs funded, to keep carving up more.

    They probably have (or had) similar reasons for keeping the monkey labs funded. So they’re able to experiment on them too.

    Where is the SPCA, when this sort of thing is touted as science?

    This sounds like something the military is behind, in its funding. They may be thinking they’ll get talking sentry dogs.

    • bobbo, we think with words, and flower with ideas says:

      Glenn—its a “new idea” on the “cutting edge of science.”

      Why do you reject it so out of hand??

      I saw Michio Kaku talk about this same tech in hoomans on the Daily Show.

      Its sensors that can detect brain activity. Some on electrical potentials, some on blood flow. “How does the Brain think.” It is all PHYSICALLY based, and that means it can be measured…and that means it can be calculated and manipulated.

      In the Through the Wormhole, they showed they identified a protein in bacteria that released a electron when exposed to light. They surgically removed that protein and put it into a virus and used that virus to infect a mouse and now when they want a particular response in the mouse, all they have to do is shine a light on the mouse. Show went from “wow” to “holly shit!”

      Guess what?—Dogs have brains too. Simple CONSUMER application of the tech. I’d think an app to recognize when the dog wants to bark and stopping that would be very successful. Same with peeing or urinating in the house.

      Its $$$$$. Its the future.

      Why not?

  10. Say Kai Lee says:

    Do you really trust people who cannot distinguish the functionality of a microphone and a speaker to analyse the brain waves of a dog?

    That’s like using a plumber who cannot tell a water heater from a water filter…

    You would have to be….. that’s right! A MORAN!

    SKL