Looks like a good excuse to put guard stations on every street like this. Or a wall with armed guards. And a moat. With sharks with frickin’ laser beams. And…

A recent increase in border patrol along side streets dividing Derby Line, Vt., and Stanstead, Canada, are causing confusion and animosity between locals and border patrol agents.

The situation came to a head recently when a local man was arrested while walking down a street he said that he has walked down for years without a problem.

“I walked over to Canada on a Saturday night around quarter to nine to get a pizza,” Buzz Roy explained. Roy lives and works in Derby Line. He walked down Church Street to the nearest pizza shop, which happens to be in Canada, and said that to his surprise he was stopped by state police and told that crossing on Church Street is illegal.

“Steam was coming out of my ears from the treatment by the state cop. I felt that he had been misinformed about my ability to enter the country on Church Street. I’ve done it my entire life many many many times,” said Roy.
[...]
He will fight the fine, but said that his story speaks to larger issues. “I firmly believe that to this day … they just make up rules from day to day.” [...] He said people are scared to come here. “They come up over the hill and they don’t realize they’re in the states until they see the American customs, and then they turn around and they get hollered at.”

Grandpa punched kids in head while parents were not looking — Imagine this becoming a trend!

A $150,000 bond has been set for the 68-year old man accused of punching kids in the back of the head at Walmart while their parents weren’t looking.

Ralph would put his keys between his knuckles and whack children while their parents were entranced by Walmarts fabulous bargains. He said he did it for “the thrill” of getting away with it, and that he’d been doing it since January. His lawyer say he has mental health issues.

New witness comes forth — Yeah, this is the “liberal” area in the Middle East.

Ayman Najafi, 24, and Charlotte Adams, 26, are awaiting the outcome of an appeal against a conviction for public indecency in a Dubai restaurant on November 27.

The witness is understood from sources close to the case to have been present at the restaurant, but not to be one of the four friends with whom Najafi and Adams were eating.

The couple are hoping that a verdict will be given in their favour at a hearing on April 4, after they told an appeal court judge on Sunday that they had merely kissed each other on the cheek in an innocent greeting.

Click pic for “America’s Prophet’s” website

Who could possibly guess that a psychic would be a fraud? Especially when he’s investing your life savings!

-The U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission has filed a civil suit against “America’s Prophet” Sean David Morton, alleging he lied about using his psychic expertise in investing more than $6 million from investors.

Morton, of Hermosa Beach Calif., solicited individuals over nationally syndicated radio broadcasts, public appearances and newsletters to put money into Delphi Associates Investment Group. He claimed his psychic ability would be used to invest in foreign currencies, the SEC said in a suit filed in the U.S. District Court for the Southern District of New York.

In one newsletter, the SEC quoted Morton as writing “I called ALL the highs and lows of the market, giving EXACT DATES for rises and crashes over the last 14 years.”
[...]
The SEC charges Sean David Morton invested “only about half of the funds” with the foreign-currency trades he had promised the money would be put into. Further, the SEC said, the Mortons used at least $240,000 of the funds for their own nonprofit religious organization, PRI.

Morton, 51 years old and known as “America’s Prophet,” appears on a nationally syndicated radio show, “Coast to Coast AM,” with an audience of nearly 3 million listeners, the SEC said. He also publishes the monthly newsletter The Delphi Associates Newsletter, a paid, subscription-only newsletter that the SEC said has about 20,000 subscribers.

Click pic for obviously NSFW snow goodies

Police told a Rahway, New Jersey family to cover their nude snow woman after an anonymous complaint.

Maria Conneran’s family sculpted Venus de Milo in last week’s snow outside their home on Colonia Boulevard.

Gonzalez says Sgt. Dominick Sforza was apologetic when he went to the house and asked the family to dress the snow woman.

The family added a green bikini top and a blue sarong bottom.

The snow woman melted as the temperatures warmed up this week.

Found by Brother Uncle Don

A Yolo County judge on Monday sentenced a man who walked out of a store with a package of cheese in his trousers to seven years and eight months in prison.

Prosecutors had originally sought a life sentence for Robert Ferguson under the state’s “three strikes” law. They dropped that bid last month, saying a psychological report had convinced them that a life sentence wasn’t warranted.

On Jan. 6, jurors convicted Ferguson of two counts of petty theft for snatching a woman’s wallet from the counter of a 7-Eleven store and for stuffing a bag of Tillamook shredded cheese worth $3.99 into his pants at Woodland’s Nugget Market.

Rachael Greer, Martin Bell and the untouchable

Rachael Greer said it happened on Feb. 23 during fifth period gym class at River Valley Middle School when a girl walked into the locker room with a bag of pills.

“She was talking to another girl and me about them and she put one in my hand and I was like, ‘I don’t want this,’ so I put it back in the bag and I went to gym class,” said Rachael. The pills were the prescription ADHD drug, Adderall. Patty Greer, Rachael’s mother, said she and her husband are proud of their daughter for turning down drugs, just like she’s been taught for years by DARE (Drug Abuse Resistance Education) instructors at school.
[...]
But just saying no didn’t end the trouble for Rachael. During the next period, an assistant principal came and took Rachael out of class. It turned out the girl who originally had the pills and a few other students got caught. That’s when the assistant principal gave Rachael a decision.

“We’re suspending you for five days because it was in your hand,” said Rachael.
[...]
We wanted to know what would have happened if Rachael had told a teacher right away. Bell said the punishment would not have been any different. District officials say if they’re not strict about drug policies no one will take them seriously.

“That’s not a good policy,” said Patty Greer. “We’re teaching our kids if you say no to drugs you’re going to get punished, it’s not right.”

Although he got who wrote White Rabbit wrong, here’s what law professor Jonathan Turley said about this.

So now students know an easy way to get an enemy kicked out of school. I wonder if you put a pill into a teacher’s hand if she would … Nah. Who am I kidding. As if the teacher’s union would allow that.

Lots of rules in their student handbook (pdf), but oddly, no mention of expulsion for drug touching. Interesting that the two main goals of the school are not to impart knowledge and wisdom, but to ensure the inmates.. er, um… students pass tests. BTW, today is Domino’s Pizza Day (pdf)! Hooray!

Finally, out of idle curiosity, I’m wondering how you’re able to send “sensitive information to school officials” (i.e., rat out someone) anonymously when the “Anonymous Alert’ web form found at the bottom of every page reports your computer’s IP?

The U.S. Court of Appeals on Wednesday released a ruling in favor of a group of zombies who say they were wrongfully arrested while protesting consumerism during the 2006 Aquatennial. The ruling reanimates the group’s federal lawsuit against the city of Minneapolis and its police, seeking damages of at least $50,000 for each person arrested.

A three-judge panel of the court ruled 2-1 that police lacked probable cause to arrest the group — seven people wearing white powder, fake blood and black around their eyes and shuffling around like zombies — for disorderly conduct. Police do not have immunity from claims against them for making the arrest, the court ruled.

The appeals court did side with the city on two other points — affirming the lower court’s dismissal of the zombies’ claims of false imprisonment and First Amendment retaliation.

Zombies 1 – Cops 0