Click pic to embiggen and assume a new position to be screwed

For some reason, this reminds me of the speech in the genius Coen brothers film, The Hudsucker Proxy:

You punch in at 8:30 every morning, except you punch in at 7:30 following a business holiday, unless it’s a Monday, then you punch in at 8 o’clock. Punch in late and they dock you. Incoming articles get a voucher, outgoing articles provide a voucher. Move any article without a voucher and they dock you. Letter size a green voucher, oversize a yellow voucher, parcel size a maroon voucher. Wrong color voucher and they dock you! 6787049A/6. That is your employee number. It will not be repeated! Without your employee number you cannot get your paycheck. Inter-office mail is code 37, intra-office mail 37-3, outside mail is 3-37. Code it wrong and they dock you! This has been your orientation. Is there anything you do not understand, is there anything you understand only partially? If you have not been fully oriented, you must file a complaint with personnel. File a faulty complaint and they dock you!

Gov. Bobby Jindal approved legislation Thursday creating a new public school curriculum with lowered academic standards, waving aside objections from education advocates who say the change will produce high school graduates who lack basic English and math skills.

Bobby Jindal

Under the new law, students 15 and older could leave the standard curriculum and instead take a “career track” if they have parental approval. They would face easier requirements for graduation and a curriculum less geared toward college preparation. It would also allow eighth graders to advance to ninth grade without passing the state’s high-stakes standardized test.

Graduates would get a “career option” diploma, different from the state’s standard diploma, designed to get them into a two-year technical school or community college but not four-year schools.

Via Mister Justin.

I couldn’t help but think of how the Clintons were so obsessed over treatment of their daughter Chelsea that they got NBC to censor a Wayne’s World sketch that mentioned her.

I wonder how the Obamas will react to a joke about kidnapping their daughters, tying them up, and keeping them in a basement. And about whether you should toss them in the ocean to drown or put them in a hot air balloon to die after you get bored with them.

But even more interestingly, I wonder whether the so called liberal media will go ape-shit over this little piece of satire and make a big deal out of it. Calling for terminations, apologies, retractions and the what not.

My guess is that Cracked’s readership is small enough that it might go unnoticed. But this also might be Cracked’s grab at the brass ring, hoping for enough press to put it in the big leagues with satire sites such as the Onion. Who knows, maybe one day Cracked will be successful enough to release its own crappy direct-to-DVD movie. Now there’s a goal worth striving for!

Why hasn’t Jessie Jackson been screeching about this? Will there be a cyber marches on Facebook’s server farms? “I have a dream…”

Abandon your MySpace account for Facebook? You might just be a racist.

At a keynote speech during New York’s Democracy forum at Lincoln Center, Danah Boyd spoke of the racial disparity and possible reasons for mass abandonment of MySpace for the “more cultured” and “less cheesy” social networking site Facebook. Boyd, a social media researcher for Microsoft and fellow of the Harvard University Berkman Center for Internet and Society, stated:

“We might as well face an uncomfortable reality … what happened was modern day ‘white flight’.”

Boyd also observed that:

“The fact that digital migration is revealing the same social patterns as urban white flight should send warning signals to all of us. It should scare the hell out of us.”

Referring to MySpace as the “ghetto of the digital landscape,” Boyd indicated that MySpace users are more likely to be “brown or black” and espouse a different set of ideals in conflict with those espoused by the teens she surveyed over four years. She said that patterns in migration across social networking sites echoed those of a white exodus from cities in the past. Boyd also said that teens who use Facebook are more likely to condescend their MySpace-favoring peers.

“Any high school student who has a Facebook page will tell you MySpace users are more likely to be barely educated and obnoxious… like Peet’s is more cultured than Starbucks and jazz is more cultured than bubblegum pop. And Macs are more cultured than PCs.”

Interesting…

Click image to go to No Agenda.

John and Adam discuss the news of the day from an international perspective

Queue / cue / Q the closing credits — We hope you enjoy the show!

No Agenda Archive

Running time: approx. 90 mins.

• Apple iPhone has flaw in SMS system. Fix is coming.
• MSFT Bing does crappy job with news. I am sure it is because of a lack of bots.
• Sheep are shrinking due to climate change says scientist.
• Mozilla Firefox already has a bug.
• MSFT pulls a sickening ad off the net. I have it posted on Dvorak Uncensored.
• Motorola going into the femtocell business.
• The Register says Seagate needs to catch up with SSD business.
• New Symbian coming out.
• CIO magazine reports on Ritzy homes.
• ASCAP contends royalties are due for each ring rung. Huh?

Another example of Microsoft Marketing at its finest. Cripes, what are they thinking? It’s been pulled from distribution but will live forever here and there. We will repost it as necessary.

FYI.

CNETnews.com by Elinor Mills

The Waledac worm is gearing up for a spam campaign related to the July 4 holiday, a security researcher warned on Thursday.

Researchers analyzing the code of the worm, which has been deploying updates to previously compromised PCs, have discovered that at least 18 domain names have been registered related to fireworks and Independence Day that will be used to trick people into visiting a malicious Web site, said Pierre-Marc Bureau, a senior researcher at antivirus vendor ESET.

Starting any time now and lasting through the weekend, the spam e-mails will arrive in in-boxes with a message urging the recipient to watch a July 4 video. The e-mails are expected to include a link to a site with an executable that, instead of playing a video when double-clicked, will download malware that turns the visiting PC into another bot on the botnet, Bureau said.

Click pic to embiggen

Why do people keep an 8 foot python as a pet?

A pet Burmese python measuring more than 8 feet long broke out of a terrarium and strangled a 2-year-old girl in her bedroom Wednesday at a central Florida home, authorities said. Shaiunna Hare was already dead when paramedics arrived at about 10 a.m., Lt. Bobby Caruthers of the Sumter County Sheriff’s Office said.

Charles Jason Darnell, the snake’s owner and the boyfriend of Shaiunna’s mother, discovered the snake missing from its terrarium and went to the girl’s room, where he found it on the girl and bite marks on her head, Caruthers said. Darnell, 32, stabbed the snake until he was able to pry the child away.

Authorities removed the snake from the home Wednesday afternoon after obtaining a search warrant. Once outside the small, tan home, bordered by cow pastures, the snake was placed in a bag then inside a dog crate. The snake was still alive.

Burmese pythons are not native to Florida, but they easily survive in the state and can reach a length of 26 feet and weigh more than 200 pounds.

The Humane Society of the United States said including Wednesday’s death, at least 12 people have been killed in the U.S. by pet pythons since 1980, including five children.

So far no charges have been filed.