Godless scientists have developed a new contraceptive that cures Eve’s curse and eliminates menstruation.

Health experts are predicting that by this time next year, menstruation will no longer be an inevitable function but rather an optional feature, a bit like power steering or pay-per-view.

Seriously, if this story is true it WILL become a major religious issue in the US. Any group that could be against a cure for cervical cancer because it might lead to promiscuity would almost certainly be against a means to alleviate God’s punishment.



  1. Are these the same godless scientists who prevented ravaging insects from devouring our crops by giving us the curse of genetically modified food?

    http://www.relfe.com/GMOs.html

  2. Tallwookie says:

    Trust the right-wing “religious right” to drag us, kicking and screaming, back into the dark ages. Hey! The dark ages were good times: the church was in power, no enemies what-so-ever (excluding the pagans and the heathens – but the excommunicated are not to be feared 🙂 ), and anything they wanted to, they did (sound familiar, Mr. President?)

    Well, you’re right, there WILL be a hell of controversy in the grand olde USA. Think the ethical bastards jumped all over the Schaivo case? You havent seen a damn thing yet.

    Personally, I’d say that if you are not a woman, then your opinion doesnt mean squat, and I’m not, so I’m gonna shut up now.

  3. ~ says:

    The argument is silly. If you like it, take it, if you don’t, don’t. No one is making you use birth control. (Although lord knows I would love to ensure that some people do.)

    But, that is not the concerning part. This is:

    “the largest uncontrolled experiment in the history of medical science”

    The health ramifications of this medication are far reaching, I suspect. You don’t screw with mother nature like that and expect everything to be peachy-keen. (I’m on all kinds of meds, I know these things.)

    Likely this medication is an unknown variable at this time. It’ll be pushed onto the market after cursory studies. And then we will see. Too many medications get taken off the shelves every year for me to not see the dangers here. I’m not worried about having no period, I’m worried about what not having a period will do to a woman.

  4. Brent Wagner says:

    If there is some way for half the worlds population to avoid having their head chewed off like a praying mantis during mating(even when mating is out of the question) I say go for it. Reducing the chance of cancer and negating an unwanted birth rates far above that trivail quibble in the grand scheme of things, hands down.

    Hopefilly this thing pans out without the usual woeful litanty of possible side affects that would make de Sade wince. The side effects of the meds shoulld not sound worse than the malady.

    The religeous right of all stripes can go boil their bums in oil.

  5. mikecannali says:

    power steering still leaks and you get the first 5 minutes of pay per view for free

  6. Jim W. says:

    My question is why? Do we want to one up China’s one child policy?

    Female athletes already have problems with the health risks of not menstrating properly

    Female Athletes Who Stop Menstruating May Face Heart Disease Risk

    Menstrual dysfunction – the ‘Energy Drain’ for Female Athletes

    It sounds to me like this only creates more problems than it cures

  7. cheese says:

    The religious right isn’t against birth control. Most practice it. Most Catholics perform a “don’t ask don’t tell” policy with it. Destructive behavior and objects that can be perceived as facilitating bad behavior are their focus. If this can be sold as making people more “good”, they may leave it alone. If it is sold as giving people an opportunity to be “bad” then they’ll jump all over it. I think it will depend on if the headlines (not the actual stories) portray this to be evil.

  8. Mister Mustard says:

    >>Female athletes already have problems with the health risks of not
    >>menstrating properly

    Ummm, you’re confusing the egg with the chicken here. The female athletes don’t have problems because they don’t menstruate, they don’t menstruate because they have problems. Anorexia, 0% body fat, osteoporosis, etc. CAUSE them to stop menstruating, not vice versa.

    Although I wouldn’t be too keen on taking these semi-toxic drugs 365 days a year, the lack of a menstrual period would be the least of my worries. There’s no evidence that it plays any role in the maintenance of healthy plumbing.

  9. Eideard says:

    Steve — why must you persist in using words that Bush mispronounces?

  10. Milo says:

    A timely articule. Warning etc.

    “Period-related problems are the most ironclad excuses any person could ever have, short of being in a coma or diagnosed with brain cancer. And it’s not even life-threatening, like the latter ailments (although you fucking act like it). Back in college, I know one girl who got away with 20-25 skips a semester by “riding the red wave,” as she would call it, as I vomited all over myself. It was liquid gold; female professors instantly empathized, and no male professor would ever dare question it, out of fear of the obvious ramifications.”

    http://www.thephatphree.com/features.asp?StoryID=1901&SectionID=11&LayoutType=1

  11. Ameghosa says:

    What ever happened to mercy & grace? There was nothing Godly or Christ-like (Christian) about the crusade to keep the cancer and HIV/Aids cures from reaching those who need it. No wonder the governments are cracking whip on Christian rights.

  12. Jim W. says:

    Thanks for the correction Mister Mustard

    I will still stick to my opinion that the “cure” will cause more problems than it solves

  13. Mister Mustard says:

    >>I will still stick to my opinion that the “cure” will cause more problems
    >>than it solves

    You may be right, considering that the “problem” it solves (for most women) is inconvenience. It’s a “lifestyle choice” for those who don’t want to be bothered,

    What I wonder is why, with all the bitching and moaning about high drug prices, anyone would actually buy this stuff. It’s top-shelf, high-priced estrogen. For years, women who wanted to do this just chucked the placebo pills in the cheap-o generic OC packs, and took the active drug until they wanted to stop. Now they can pay twice as much to accomplish the same thing.


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