School: Pirates are not welcome – citizen-times.com: This poor kid has been discriminated against because of his belief. Oh, the humanity!

When you’re a pirate, some dangers just come with the territory: scurvy, grog hangovers, a walk down the plank at sword point.
But being kicked out of school for a day?
Bryan Killian doesn’t think that’s a fair reaction to his decision to come to North Buncombe High School wearing an eye patch and an inflatable cutlass.

“I feel like my First Amendment was violated,” Killian, 16, said. “Freedom of religion and freedom of expression. That’s what I tried to do, and I got shot down.”

His “pirate regalia” is part of his faith — the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

Cheap dramatization the kid being escorted out of school



  1. Club Foot The Pirate says:

    Aaaaaargh! Pass me the paramecium cheese.

  2. bac says:

    I suppose if there was a medical reason for wearing a patch, then wearing a patch would be fine. But what kind of medical reason would it take to wear a cross?

  3. OhForTheLoveOf says:

    There is a helluva lot of stupid in the story, and the kid with the patch is the least of it.

  4. Aggie20x says:

    When your entire “faith” was created purely to piss off Kansas conservatives, your legitimacy tends to take a hit. This is not so much freedom of religion as it is freedom to be a smartass.

  5. TJGeezer says:

    5 – Okay, well, how do you stand on the “life didn’t originate in a jar of peanut butter” issue then?

    As for the pirate outfit, the FSM site has a chart that proves global warming, earthquakes, hurricanes, and other natural disasters are a direct effect of the shrinking numbers of pirates since the 1800s. The kid was clearly just trying to do what he could about global warming. And for this he gets PUNISHED? Good lord, what is the poor country coming to?

  6. Whaapp! says:

    This is a simple dress code violation that has nothing to do with religion.

    The school is right to suspend the kid if that’s what the rules state.

  7. Kevin says:

    Freedom of religion? Give me a break. You have the freedom to express your religion in PRIVATE and in public as long as it doesn’t offend others (ie why you’re not allowed to have school-sponsored prayers in class anymore) or cause a distraction (cutlass and eyepatch = distraction to others). I say the kid is just trying to get attention.

  8. tallwookie says:

    Why on why do school officials always seem to believe suspension is a valid form of punshiment? I got suspended a few times during my tenure in skool and i always had a blast (aka not having to deal with the BS ithat comes with the curriculum).

    If they want to punish the kids, give em homework.

    Yaaaaaarrrrr!!!

  9. gadlaw says:

    The boy needs to realize when being a smartass isn’t the best policy. And it looks like all he was doing was trying to be a smartass. That’s what school is for, learning those lessons of life that would otherwise get your butt canned.

  10. doug says:

    suppose it was a yarmulke instead of an eye-patch? or maybe a smudge on the forehead for Ash Wednesday?

    this kid has as much right to wear his religious regalia to school as anyone else. I say, sue the bastards, yarrrrgh!

  11. rectagon says:

    Holy cow. Can we skew every story to pick on people of faith? Short answer: yes!

    Try showing up to work dressed like this and some of you (many perhaps) will be sent home too.

  12. Cathy says:

    To #7:

    I understand your violation of dress code arguement. However! Most schools have a policy against bandanas and other such headdresses, yet they let girls of the Muslim faith wear their headwraps (I forget what they’re called) and they don’t get suspended. That’s what I don’t get / agree with.

  13. Misanthropic Scott says:

    I love FSM. I think it’s an hillarious parody of religion. However, I worried almost right from the start that it might become a real religion. I wonder if this kid is the beginnings of someone taking this a tad far or if he’s just a bit rebelious. I hope it’s the latter. I worry about the former. It’d be pretty sick if people started actually getting killed over FSM just like any other religion.

  14. Mr. Fusion says:

    He was wrong to wear the outfit; it most likely crossed the distracting line too far. At the same time, the punishment does not fit the crime. One stupid act by a 15 yr old does not cancel the stupidity of the vice-principal who should have known better.

  15. Fred Flint says:

    Well, at least he got kicked out of school for doing something unusual – and we can’t have anything ‘different’ in our schools, can we?

    “Flowers are red and green leaves are green” : A Harry Chapin song.

    I got kicked out of school because I almost never went to school. That seemed pretty stupid to me and needless to say, I was delighted!

  16. Jack says:

    @14
    “However, I worried almost right from the start that it might become a real religion.”

    Are you implying it is NOT a real religion? The fact that it has already undergone a schizm with the setting up of the Reformed Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster and the Reformed Church of Alfredo proves that it is, indeed, a real religion.

    RAmen.

  17. Mr. Fusion says:

    #17, Jack,

    WOW !!! Get your news first at DU.

  18. PekPekPirate says:

    I am a Pastafarian, and pasta be upon thee:

    This is just a case of the inbred, fundie trailer trash in the south being offended by the sublime truths of the Flying Spaghetti Monster (Pasta be Upon Him).

    Ever lived in the deep South? I did. White trash is dumber than cockroaches, and seemingly as common.

    Come join us under the noodly appendage of our Creator, the Flying Spaghetti Monster. We are peaceful, unlike the whack-job white trash fundies. We don’t start wars. We get laid all the time, and I don’t mean with our cousins. And best of all, in our heaven, we have beer volcanoes and stripper factories!

    Wearing an eyepatch is preferable than undergoing a Bible-induced lobotomy.

  19. Gary Marks says:

    Aaarrrgh, all smartasses will henceforth be keelhauled. If still unrepentant, then they’ll be forced to walk the plank. There’ll be none of the smartassery while I’m Captain of this ship!

    To reiterate, Aaarrrgh!

  20. Misanthropic Scott says:

    #17 – Jack,

    I’ll be sure to hide when the Linguisition comes.


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