Staff at a German butcher’s shop were shocked to discover a customer had hidden two sex toys in their sausages for transport to Dubai, police said Wednesday.

“It was two latex dildos with a natural look,” said a spokesman for police in the southwestern city of Mannheim.

After shopping there earlier in the day, the man, who spoke broken English, returned to the butcher’s with two large “Schwartenmagen” sausages. He asked a shop assistant to wrap and cool them until he departed for Dubai the next day.

But the assistant noticed the goods had got heavier and alerted police. Officers discovered the man, who was about 50, had removed some of the meat and packed the dildos inside.

I wonder what would have happened if his deceit was discovered going through customs in DuBai?



  1. Jägermeister says:

    I wonder what would have happened if his deceit was discovered going through customs in Dubai?

    He got two choices… either he can get his own wiener chopped off or store both of the contrabands in his fudgehole for an hour.

  2. KVolk says:

    It gives whole new meaning to “hide the sausage”.

  3. Improbus says:

    I wonder what would have happened if his deceit was discovered going through customs in Dubai?

    He would have blamed it on the sexually freakish German infidels! You know how Germans are …. [wink]

  4. joe says:

    simple

    Executed.

  5. Mike T says:

    “….With a natural look….” Nice.

  6. Robert K says:

    Sounds like a party!

  7. GigG says:

    “Sounds like a party!”

    With Snacks!

  8. Angel H. Wong says:

    I thought it was harder to smuggle pork meat than rubber meat into the arab nations.

  9. Tytus Suski says:

    So much about free Western world – shop assistants report to police dildos hidden in sausages. Bloody informants!

  10. NappyHeadedHo says:

    It is supposed to be, “what happens in Dubai stays in Dubai.”

  11. Raff says:

    Haikeem and the bologna pony…

  12. tallwookie says:

    lol #11 you win

  13. Jägermeister says:

    #11

    Hehe… 😀

  14. Raff says:

    Lol Yeah that was a real trojan horse there..

  15. Mike Voice says:

    But the assistant noticed the goods had got heavier and alerted police.

    All that advance planning, and he forgot to remove the batteries?

  16. TIHZ_HO says:

    Why didn’t he just ‘wear’ at least one of them? 😉

    Anyway this sounds rather odd by the fact that bringing food through customs is a no-no for many countries. I think this was a joke on someone.

    I could not find any information from the official Dubai customs web site which prohibits dildos – or even porn.

    http://www.dxbcustoms.gov.ae/Home.aspx

    Cheers

  17. Glenn E says:

    What has this world come to when dildo smuggling rates even being an international crime? They don’t say who these sausages were meant for at Dubai. Probably someone with the connection to let them breeze thru customs there. Like TlHZ_HO says, isn’t food usual an import no-no with practically every country?

  18. MG says:

    Why did the butcher care? Even if he could notice it heavier, why would he mess with products owned by a customer?

    Sounds like someone didn’t check their sources on a funny story and this should rate high on the dvorak.org/blog bullshit meter.

  19. MG says:

    Sorry Eideard, just read that comment back and wanted to make it clear I meant the Reuters reporter not you.

    We’ll see what turns up on Snopes.com in the next couple of days.

  20. Mr. Fusion says:

    #18, MG
    I’m also a little skeptical of this one. Too many questions. Why would the shop take the sausage back after it had left the store already? If something had been inserted, would the casing not have shown signs of disturbance? Why would anyone (outside of Dubai) even care if he was attempting to smuggle sex toys into another country?

  21. James Hill says:

    #20 – You’re skeptical, but oddly intrigued with the ideal.

  22. Dave says:

    A term for the wurst.

  23. seks shop says:

    I love seksxxx

  24. Charity Reed says:

    It’s a funny! But seriously, how come that the 2 sex toys found the sausage?


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