Rum the remedy for snake bite on penis |

A MAN bitten on the penis by a deadly snake has told how he used a cold rum can to soothe the pain while he rang his mother to say a final goodbye. “I thought I was gone,” Daryl Zutt said of his now notorious encounter with a brown snake during a roadside toilet stop in remote far north Queensland, The Cairns Post reported. “I thought, ‘Maybe, this is it. Maybe, I’m gonna cark it’.”

The Cairns Post revealed details of the bizarre encounter two weeks ago but the identity of the victim remained unknown until Mr Zutt came forward to tell how the brown snake took a near-fatal swipe as he relieved himself. “I squatted down … I reckon I must’ve nearly sat on his head,” he said. “As soon as I felt it, I yelled.

“It really hurt. “When it happened, I knew in the back of my mind it was a snake. “I seen him coming out from between my legs.” He said he tried to remain calm as he inspected the damage. “He got me about halfway down,” he said. “I saw fang marks and a bit of blood come out.” Mr Zutt’s friend drove him to a medical centre before he was moved to a hospital for further tests which showed he was not envenomated. “They’ve been saying things like ‘It was a trouser snake fight’ and ‘He (the snake) saw the competition and got scared’,” Mr Zutt said. “Once they knew I was right, the jokes came out.”

And the joke: So the doctor tells his friend, “If you want to save his life, you need to suck the poison out.” His friend nods, and hangs up the cell phone. Aussie asks his friend “What did the doctor say?” Friend looks at him ominously and says, “Your going to die mate”.

  1. JimD says:

    I wonder if he put a tourniquet on it ?

  2. PeterR says:

    “envenomated”? What’s wrong with “poisoned”?

  3. Widgethead says:

    Channel 5 exclusive: “Non Fatal bite prick” Film at 11:00

  4. chuck says:

    And the headline reads:
    “Fat Bastard’s snake gets bitten by Fat Bastard Snake”

  5. circuitsmith says:

    “Your going to die mate”

    I’ve got an old Richard Pryor record with a very vulgar, very funny version of that joke.

  6. Mr. Gawd Almighty says:

    Very funny unless it was your equipment.

  7. kanjy says:

    I don’t mean to nitpick, but the snake was venomous, not poisonous. Poisonous means it’s bad if you touch or eat it. Venomous means it’s bad if it bites you.

    You know what’s worse than a snake biting your penis? A THOUSAND snakes biting your penis.

  8. Rich says:

    Ow, ow, oooowwwwwww!

  9. Mister Ketchup says:

    Mine is usually so hard a cat couldn’t scratch it.

  10. JimR says:

    Hence, he was bitten down under.

  11. Nimby says:

    My mind tends to wander to the practical side of life:

    Having begun to “relieve” but, instead, being bitten on the peepee, does one find another place to do one’s business or or did the bite, itself, scare the poop out of you?

  12. Hater says:

    John.. It’s You’re, not your… You’re going to die mate. 🙁

  13. PeterR says:

    #7: I don’t mean to nitpick, but the snake was venomous, not poisonous. Poisonous means it’s bad if you touch or eat it. Venomous means it’s bad if it bites you.

    From the Oxford dictionary:

    “Poisonous: Containing or of the nature of poison; having the quality or properties of a poison; venomous.

    Venomous: Containing, consisting of, or accompanied by venom; poisonous, deadly or injurious because of this.

    Envenomated: No entries found.”

  14. bobbo says:

    Well, its in Merriam Webster:

    I guess you can be envenomated in the Good Old USA but not in England or Australia?


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