Just a couple of samples:

Pass on the word with these breath fresheners wrapped in Biblical text

This peanut bar is “inspired by scripture” its name perhaps is less well thought through

Assuage your guilt by indulging in this God is Love Chocolate

There are more over here – for anyone needing to give their superstition a sugar rush.

  1. Rabble Rouser says:

    I’m ROTFLMAO at ‘Noah’s Nuggets!’ Are they coprolites?!?!

  2. the answer says:

    Ha Noah’s nuggets. Tastes just like altar boys, and chock full of nuts.

  3. I’m still waiting for Nabisco Bits-O-Jesus communion wafers so that I can practice ritual mock-cannibalism commune with the lord in the privacy of my own home, anytime.

    I hear they go well with new Kraft Sweet Cheeses.

  4. The Monster's Lawyer says:

    Of course everyone remembers the “Manna Bar” they were good but the makers couldn’t figure out how to make a profit from free food.

  5. JimD says:

    As with all things “Religious” – a Fool and his Money are SOON PARTED !!! Just another way to “Fleece the Faithful” !!!

  6. Matt Garrett says:

    “The fool has said in his heart that there is no God.” Psalm 14:1

    Professing to be wise, they became fools,

    and exchanged the glory of the incorruptible God for an image in the form of corruptible man and of birds and four-footed animals and crawling creatures.

    Romans 1:22-23 (New American Standard Bible)

  7. The Monster's Lawyer says:

    #6 Matt – What the hell are you talking about. Is this what they mean one someone is speaking in tongues?

  8. admfubar says:

    in $green backs$ we trust…. #5 has it right……….

    it remeinds me of the survivalist nuts, i lways wondered how civilizastion would come to an end if there was a survivalist market to sell to??

  9. Improbus says:


    Well, some one has to shear the sheep.

  10. #5 – JimD,

    Just another way to “Fleece the Faithful” !!!

    This is the best one I’ve seen personally. It’s a total non-scam scam. For the faithful with pets, how could one truly not be concerned for their pet’s well-being? For atheists and other heathens, ka-ching! I wish I thought of this. AFAIK, these heathens are completely serious. They will ensure that the pets are taken care of.

    Jesus Pets

    On the other hand, while they very likely have real plans to take care of the animals for which they have been paid to do so, they are likely also betting that the plan will be utterly unnecessary.

    #6 – Matt Garrett,

    Got any pets? Are they taken care of in case you get caught up in the rupture?

    If you have pets and if you really believe, can you afford not to sign up with Jesus Pets?

    Careful, failure to care for your pets would belie your true lack of faith as surely as a lightening rod on a church steeple.

  11. Cursor_ says:

    Of course the real trouble is that peanuts were from the new world and unless Noah (a pre-semite) was able to get to the new world he never had a peanut in his life.

    Even when you yank out the ‘religious’ part of the product, it still does not make sense.

    But of course all the anti-religious nuts can harp on the imaginary guy in the sky, yet not be considered just as crass or prejuidicial as the religious buts that state evolution is imaginary…

    To me when either side starts bashing the other I just remind myself they are petty, stupid humans.


  12. emhodew says:

    This is nothing new.
    Mark 11:15-18.
    As far as Matt’s comments:
    John 10:24

    John, would you call yourself a sheep?

  13. julieb says:

    Like I have said before, the only good thing about religion is that anyone can make money off it. No copyright or trademark.

    “The fool has said in his heart that there is no God.” Psalm 14:1

    It funny how religionists cling to this quote so often. As if quoting the bible means something. I think the statement undermines religious authority anyway. The statement just confirms that non-believers where prominent enough to mention that long ago. And between that time and now, atheism has grown, religiosity has waned.

    Here’s a quote that actually makes you think and applies logic to this nonsense called god.

    “Is God willing to prevent evil but not able?

    Then he is not omnipotent.

    Is God able but not willing?

    Then he is malevolent.

    Is God willing and able?

    Then wence commeth evil?

    Is God neither able nor willing?

    Then why call him God?”


    Try thinking.

  14. Improbus says:

    If you are thinking you are not believing.

  15. Raster says:

    Oh, “Manna Bars”, that’s priceless!

    Comon folks, this is just religion baiting.

    Let’s lighten up, and come up w/some titles they need to add:

    Jesus Juicies
    Testifin’ Taffy
    Abel Canes
    Some n’ Psalms

    And I’m spent…

  16. haix says:

    “It’s Sacrelicious!”

    and, not candy, but how come no one has done Communion Jerky? i mean, Body of Christ and all – if Jesus was a man, he was made of meat.

  17. #15 – Raster,

    How about a whole line of Holy Spirits ™?

    Brew Unto Others
    The Second Rumming

    Damn. I was hoping to think of at least one more.

  18. The Monster's Lawyer says:

    #16 Missing Scott – “Mad God Wine” for the dyslexic wino.

    #15 Rasterfarien – Thanx

  19. #18 – The Monster’s Lawyer,

    #16 Missing Scott – “Mad God Wine” for the dyslexic wino.

    Good one. Also goes for anyone who feels the fear of god. (Why fear a benevolent god? I have no idea.)

    Absinthe of Faith — For non-theists.
    Southern Baptist’s Comfort?
    Jesus Daniels?

    Am I reaching too far now?

  20. Angel H. Wong says:

    Three words: Jesus flavoured condoms.

  21. Li says:

    When I went to college a while back my town church sent me some testamints as a part of their care package.

    I thought the name was clever, and they were tasty!

  22. lou says:

    Why not milk the flock.


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