A nine-year-old girl whose parents named her Talula Does the Hula From Hawaii was put into court guardianship in New Zealand so that her name could be changed.

A family court judge, Rob Murfitt, gave the order after hearing that the child was embarrassed about her name and had refused to reveal it to friends. “She told people her name was K because she feared being mocked and teased,” the child’s lawyer, Colleen MacLeod, told the court.

The judge criticised parents who give their offspring bizarre names, saying it exposed children to ridicule among their peers.

He said the child had a better insight about the situation than her parents, who had apparently not given any thought to the implications of their actions.

In his written ruling, he said names such as Stallion, Yeah Detroit, Fish and Chips, Twisty Poi, Keenan Got Lucy and Sex Fruit were prohibited by registration officials. Others that were permitted included twins called Benson and Hedges, other children called Midnight Chardonnay, Number 16 Bus Shelter and, the judge added, “tragically, Violence”.

More dimwit parents who treat their offspring like a pet instead of a human being. Kids are not a fashion statement.

  1. MikeN says:

    Didn’t Bill Cosby say something like this?

  2. bobbo says:

    How come no “Nanny State” Banner on this one?

    Actually, this isn’t a Nanny State Issue as I assume in some manner the girl came forward to change her name. Nanny would be for the Judge to create his own list of approved names and order Halls and Records to enforce the same?

    Should this be grounds for the state to do a complete investigation of home conditions==or are we to assume crazy ass nut issues come in single packages?

  3. A Boy Named Sue says:

    I hate my dad.

  4. gquaglia says:

    I hate smug parents that give their kids wacky names.

  5. jccalhoun hates the spam filter says:

    So why couldn’t the kid just say her name was Talula rather than the whole thing? My parents gave me a slightly unusual hyphenated first name and among friends I just tell them the first part of it.

  6. hhopper says:

    Hell, if my parents named me jccalhoun hates the spam filter, I’d be pissed too.

    What they should do is take the parents to court and change their names to ‘I’m an Asshole’ and ‘I’m an Asshole Too.’

    Speaking of the spam filter, if your comment gets caught in there, we check it a number of times during the day (and night,) so it shouldn’t get caught in there for too long. If it’s not spam, we’ll OK it. Please don’t repost when it doesn’t show up right away. Then we have to delete the extra post(s). This is not directed to jccalhoun hates the spam filter, but to everyone.

  7. bobbo says:

    Time for the old joke about John Shitlips who hated his name and couldn’t wait to change it. On moving out of his loving parents house he petitioned the court and got it changed. Yep. New name David Shitlips is much better.

  8. Sea Lawyer says:

    So I’m assuming this is purely a procedural matter since a nine-year-old would need a guardian’s approval to get a legal name change?

    “Brian Clarke, the registrar general of births, deaths and marriages, said New Zealand law did not allow names that would cause offense to a reasonable person. He said officials were usually successful in dissuading parents from giving their children embarrassing names.”

    Being offensive and causing embarrassment really are two different things. And why is it any business of the state to control what people are called anyway?

  9. Ron Larson says:

    Why do you ask, Two Bears F**king?

  10. Ah_Yea says:

    I do feel really, really bad for these kids who have such clueless/irresponsible parents.

    A case in point. This is no joke. Growing up, I knew a guy named was Claude Jerko.

    That’s right. Claude Jerko.

    Needless to say, this name messed with his head in a big way.

    On the other hand, there was this girl in my high school who’s name was April Showers (middle name was May, as in “April showers bring May flowers”.

    And she was one of the nicest, cutest girls you’d ever want to meet.

  11. Stu Mulne says:

    I knew a guy named “Clive Cohen”, which just seemed wrong…. (Nice guy, though.)

    A former co-worker’s first name wasy “Oy”….

    Another was “Treasual”, but she went by “Penney”….

    Parents ought to know better…. This seems to be particularly a problem with Blacks – names like “Shaquile” don’t always cut it at the HR desk during pre-employment resume scans….

    Or, circa 1948, a friend who’s name was “Ben Zion”….



  12. hhopper says:

    There used to be a girl named Crystal Chandelier and one named Dusty Rhoads in my highschool. There was also one named Richard Hertz. He got a lot of heat.

  13. Mike Hunt says:

    I don’t understand what all the brew-ha-ha is about.

  14. bh28630 says:

    Urban legends or actual anecdotes. Your decide:

    A young lady later pronounced her given name as “Gwenora” but on the birth certificate it was “Gonorrhea”. allegedly because the mother liked the sound of the word.

    Also on a birth certificate: “Baby boy” Williams and later claimed by the parents as the name the hospital gave the child.

  15. Freezal says:

    In my high school we had 2 kids from the roni family:

    Pepper was the girl…
    Mac Anthony was the boy…

    yea some kids parents.

    but they were at least well adjusted and most found it interesting but not worth making fun of. Thankful for a small town I supose.

  16. BubbaRay says:

    Ima Hogg (July 10, 1882 – August 19, 1975), known as “The First Lady of Texas”,was an American philanthropist, patron and collector of the arts, and one of the most respected women in Texas during the 20th century. She was the daughter of governor Jim Hogg.

    Three more words: Moon Unit, Dweezil

    Heck, BubbaRay is bad enough for a name.

  17. Hey, Bruce Willis named his kid “Talulah”. Which I think is better than “Rumer”. Is that a disease, or a Fleetwood Mac tribute album?

    And Mr. Ray, you are correct as usual, but you left out the two remaing children of Mr. Zappa, Ahmet Emuukha Rodan and Diva Thin Muffin Pigeen. They may be less famous than Moon Unit and Dweezil, but heck. Not everybody can be a rock star. And nobody seems to be calling Frank Zappa an asshole.

  18. >>Ima Hogg (July 10, 1882 – August 19, 1975), known
    >>as “The First Lady of Texas”

    She appears to have been quite busty and lusty.


    And in spite of the name, she got over 30 proposals of marriage, but accepted none.

  19. CountSmackula says:

    In the last 8 years I’ve taught: 2 Tequilla’s, 1 Tekilla (all girls), a Chevis, a Chevas, and a Hennessey (all boys. Also a girl named Aquanetta (do they still make Aquanet hair-spray?) and another named Pajama’i (pronounced Pa-ja-may).

    After that, the Shaquille’s, and Antwan’s and Precious’s and Heavenly’s and Ebony’s and Kenya’s almost seems “normal”.

    Let’s not even start in on the Laquisha’s, Quandisha’s, and Ja’lae’shenai’s…

  20. The Monster's Lawyer says:

    Frank would have been proud to be called an asshole.

  21. deowll says:

    I like the sound of the kids name. People can make fun of any name and usually do and sometimes its the person that makes a joke of their name. Sure names like Grady Nutt may seem odd but and some of the names were obvious child abuse but Talula is fine with me. Nice and malodic.

  22. Gasbag says:

    As an Australian I am laughing my head off about this. Now you know why we (Australia) make fun of them (New Zealand)

  23. snoitpo says:

    My favorite name story is “Madison” as a girl’s name. Almost entirely because of the movie “Splash” where the mermaid named herself after a Manhattan avenue. Prior to that is was a seldom-used old-time male name (“son of Maude”). Now in the top 10 girl’s name in the USA.

  24. Calin says:

    You changed your name to Latrine?

    Yeah, it used to be Shithouse.

  25. ImaHo oker says:

    I remember that some celebrety named their kid ‘Bud’ after bud lite. Man, i feel really bad for some of these kids.

  26. hhopper says:

    A friend of mine had an aunt named Ofelia Self.


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