ShamWow Guy and the hooker: There’s a mess to mop up — This stuff just writes itself! At least she didn’t get far enough along to bite off something else!!
Shlomi met Sasha Harris, 26, at a Miami Beach nightclub, according to the cop report. He told cops he paid Harris about $1,000 in cash after she “propositioned him for straight sex.”
Shlomi said that when he kissed Harris, she suddenly “bit his tongue and would not let go.”
So Shlomi punched her several times until she released his tongue. Harris wound up with facial fractures and lacerations.
After freeing his tongue, a bleeding Shlomi ran to the Setai lobby, where security summoned cops. Harris refused to cooperate with officers, who recovered $930 from her purse.
“Both parties had a strong odor of an alcoholic beverage emitting from their persons,” police reported
#11, I believe they have to say “alcoholic beverage” because alcohol doesn’t have an actual smell or something like that.
So, did she love his nuts?
I’m willing to take out a hit contract on Billy Mays if someone will stab him with a Hercules Hook, hang a weight off it with the Mighty Putty, and have him drowing in a vat of OxyClean.
#20, “J”,
I’m confused here, are you suggesting sex with a shamwow?
There’s a new product out now – SnuggieWow. It’s a Snuggie made out of Shamwows.
You sit there all cozy and when you spill stuff in your lap, it just slurps it up.
You don’t even have to get up to pee. Just let loose in your SnuggieWow, and don’t worry about a thing.
Saw this “commercial” on the latest Real Time with Bill Maher. DO NOT MISS IT – but you better be wearing your SnuggieWow while you watch.
He’s lucky it was just his tongue. BTW, he discovered that Shamwows make great tongue bandages. Highly absorbent and induce clotting. And they’re made in Germany!
“Now if someone can set-up Billy Mays the world would be a better place.”
Har! Agree 100% I mute the TV every time he starts shouting excitedly about nothing exciting.
What if… it was Billy Mays who put this sadistic female up to this to silence the competition?
#5 – Jamie (SMS) – Billy’s moving up, he’s got a (non-infomercial) television show on Discovery.
He would be more suitable for hosting a real version of Tool Time…
I don’t get it, what happened to the $70???
Shipping and handling…
$1000 for straight sex? Elliot Spitzer was out of town?
I don’t think the guy ever shuts up….so can’t really blame her.
I can’t believe it’s taken me this long to come up with the punchline:
Q: why’d he beat up that hooker?
APPARENTLY SHE DIDN’T HOLD 12 TIMES HER WEIGHT IN LIQUID!! HAR HAR HAR!
I must admit, the humor to reply ratio on this topic alone must hold some DU record. Beats “Caption this photo.”
I’ll bet Ronco is hoping Billy Mays gets blamed for the job — they’ll solid inject him with powdered OxyClean and fillet what’s left for only 3 easy payments.
heehee has been watching Bill Maher. And so have I.