Jesus Shows Up in Coffee Stain Complete with Crown of Thorns

Published on June 29th, 2009

RAVENA — Jerry Stolfi houses Jesus above his kitchen’s stovetop exhaust fan, inside a drab brown cupboard he calls a shrine.

“I hope he doesn’t get lonely in there, you know?” says Stolfi, 49.

“He” is the coffee stain, on a mason jar drinking mug, in which Stolfi sees a bearded image of Jesus Christ bearing a crown of thorns. The image, smaller than a square inch, appeared to him April 29, after he had finished drinking coffee from the jar, which bears the residue of dried coffee and cream.

“It doesn’t smell, though, and I will never be washing it,” he said.

25 users responded in " Jesus Shows Up in Coffee Stain Complete with Crown of Thorns "

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# 1 Coffee is savor said, on June 29th, 2009 at 4:13 pm

I just finished Speaking in Tongues heres a translation for you heretics
babble babbal babbal oh baby… I told Jesus I would not be worshiping him and he shook my hand then bought me a 16oz Americano with 3 shots no room. What a guy! babblebabble.. Really he must be besieged with listening to all those let Michael Jackson in heaven and don’t let the Dems send the country to hell(but its ok to let Iran go there) payers to have time to show up in coffee stains… babble babble –..I pretty sure it’s the face on Mars and not Jesus in that mug.

I say put the thing on eBay and let the market decide if it’s real.

# 2 Tim Yates said, on June 29th, 2009 at 4:18 pm

The best part of waking up, is Jesus in your cup.

# 3 Dallas said, on June 29th, 2009 at 4:23 pm

I think it’s a fake and should be tested.

# 4 t0llyb0ng said, on June 29th, 2009 at 4:38 pm

Tomorrow we get a close-up of coffee residue Jebus?

Silly-looking bearded guy gets his 15 minutes of fame. Okay, sorry, time’s up.

# 5 fulanoche said, on June 29th, 2009 at 5:13 pm

Oh man, that’s funny. That’s the way I’m gonna be hearing that jingle from now on.

# 6 Jägermeister said, on June 29th, 2009 at 5:27 pm

Jesus appears on this dog.

# 7 Special Ed said, on June 29th, 2009 at 6:03 pm

I think it’s a shit stain and he’s had it up his ass.

# 8 Timuchin said, on June 29th, 2009 at 6:22 pm

Looks more like Bin Laden; he should take art lessons.

# 9 faxon said, on June 29th, 2009 at 6:54 pm

That Jesus! Always trying to outdo his mother by showing up in filthy places….

# 10 faxon said, on June 29th, 2009 at 6:55 pm

Ever since the grilled cheese sandwich, people have been looking for a big cash prize for finding this guy.

# 11 faxon said, on June 29th, 2009 at 6:59 pm

I’m god. I can do anything! Soooo. Lemme think. Should I float down and land on top of Obama’s stupid skull?
Should I appear in a flash of light at MJ’s funeral?
Should I turn up in a shimmering, bigger than life 3D version of me between two babes at a Las Vegas strip sex show?
No… I think I’ll show up on the side of a filthy, crusty, obscure piece of shit coffee mug in some loser’s kitchen…
That way, EVERYONE will believe in me…

# 12 faxon said, on June 29th, 2009 at 7:01 pm

BTW. Who the hell drinks coffee from such a fucking piece of shit mug, anyway?

# 13 Daniel Kaiser said, on June 29th, 2009 at 7:01 pm

I saw Jesus at the bottom of a bottle of Tequila one night, ever since then my drinking has increased trying to attain that level of spiritual enlightenment once again, my quest has lead me to a homeless shelter and I’m posting from the local library. well I have to go now to panhandle so I can get another half gallon of Pepe Lopez for tonight’s pilgrimage. I can be contacted at the corner of Main and third in the ally behind Star bucks. next to the dumpster second cardboard box on the left the one with Whirlpool on the side.

P.S. As a landmark I have a collection of garden gnomes out front.

# 14 JimR said, on June 29th, 2009 at 7:13 pm

GOD: “Jesus? I’ve decided to allow you to reveal yourself to the talking apes. You can male an image in any media you want. Show how glorious you are. Show your almighty power in an image so startling, so profound, that the world will not doubt that you are the son of God almighty, worthy of praise, worthy of worship! … and DON’T talk to your mother about this … and don’t waste your time with fucking toast for Christ sakes!”

JESUS: Like, don’t worry dad, okay? I’m not stupid.

# 15 BubbaRay said, on June 29th, 2009 at 7:19 pm

#6, Jägermeister said,

Jesus appears on this dog.

Perfect. Way to go!

# 16 Ben Dover said, on June 29th, 2009 at 7:24 pm

Wash that damn thing will ya? You actually drink out of that filthy thing?

# 17 mr. show said, on June 29th, 2009 at 7:30 pm

He must be a Folgers man. My coffee doesn’t do that!

# 18 steelcobra said, on June 29th, 2009 at 8:46 pm

I use glass mugs, and all it takes to clean them is 10 minutes soaking with soap and hot water to get them pristine. This man clearly just rinses it off everytime instead of actually cleaning it. Disgusting.

# 19 Troublemaker said, on June 30th, 2009 at 1:37 am

Religion is a MENTAL ILLNESS… it needs to be treated as such.

# 20 Luc said, on June 30th, 2009 at 4:55 am

So Jesus “doesn’t smell,” eh? Who knew.

# 21 Dall said, on June 30th, 2009 at 5:34 am

Is that REALLY the best picture they could have taken? Couldn’t have gone in for a closer shot? (Would it then not have looked like Jesus?)

# 22 Great American said, on June 30th, 2009 at 7:07 am

#19 It is? So what’s your excuse?

# 23 t0llyb0ng said, on June 30th, 2009 at 8:53 am

Ready for my close-up now, Mr. hhopper.

# 24 Special Ed said, on June 30th, 2009 at 9:42 pm

I’m not suffering from mental illness, I kind of enjoy it. Of course if I were as far gone as Alfredone I’d man up and take my own life just to serve as a warning to others.

# 25 Mr. Fusion said, on July 1st, 2009 at 3:38 pm

#14, faxrong,

BTW. Who the hell drinks coffee from such a fucking piece of shit mug, anyway?

Conservatives. Expecially the right wing nut Republican conservatives.

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