Eternal Earth-Bound Pets:

You’ve committed your life to Jesus. You know you’re saved. But when the Rapture comes what’s to become of your loving pets who are left behind? Eternal Earth-Bound Pets takes that burden off your mind.

We are a group of dedicated animal lovers, and atheists. Each
Eternal Earth-Bound Pet representative is a confirmed atheist, and as such will still be here on Earth after you’ve received your reward. Our network of animal activists are committed to step in when you step up to Jesus.

We are currently active in 20 states and growing. Our representatives have been screened to ensure that they are atheists, animal lovers, are moral / ethical with no criminal background, have the ability and desire to rescue your pet and the means to retrieve them and ensure their care for your pet’s natural life.

From their FAQ:

Q: Is this a Joke?
A: No. This is a serious offer to our Christian friends who believe in the Second Coming and honestly care about the future of their pets after the Rapture occurs.

Yeah right!




  1. Dr Dodd says:

    #78-right-The bible is a hate filled, racist, statist piece of crap…

    Good grief, you’re a mean drunk aren’t you? The sport of the 12 oz curl doesn’t seem to be your thing.

  2. right says:

    Dr Dodd, you’re not a doctor are you? Fess up.
    Please prove me wrong about the bible, I challenge you, here and now.

  3. Mr. Fusion says:

    #77, Bobbo, picking up on the little things,

    before peoples’ reputations are thrown asunder.

    Don’t you just hate it when that happens? Kind of reminds me of those old commercials for the United Negro College Fund,

    A mind is a terrible thing to waste.

  4. Dr Dodd says:

    #82-right-you’re not a doctor are you?

    Of course I’m not a Doctor, I just play one on the internet. But I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night.

  5. Mr. Fusion says:

    #81, Dr. Dudd,

    The sport of the 12 oz curl doesn’t seem to be your thing.

    Trolling seems to be your thing.

  6. right says:

    Dodd is Alfred1.

  7. Dr Dodd says:

    #86-right-Dodd is Alfred1.

    Thanks. Considering the crowd I’ll take a complement where I can get it.

  8. right says:

    “complement”. Huh? You and your mirror are both a laugh..and if I might say full of floccinaucinihilipilification.
    Can Dr Dodd spell IQ? Hmmm…the mind reels with the possibilities he might be sentient. Hasn’t proven it yet, though.

  9. Dr Dodd says:

    #88-right-floccinaucinihilipilification?

    Holy crap? Just who exactly are you trying to impress? I know you may consider me worthless but believe it or not some find be charming and fun to have around.

  10. right says:

    Doddie/Alphie – Not trying to impress at anytime in my life, no big deal, do not care at all.
    As to you and Alphie’s positive worth to human development, hrumph, well, that I do care about. I hope you haven’t produced any offspring (I’m pretty sure Alfred1 hasn’t)
    to promote your cowardly view f the world.

  11. tc says:

    Now I _know_ Alfred1 is a poe!

    Had me going there for a while, no-one is that wilfully stupid as to believe all that nonsense…

    are they?

  12. Mr. Fusion says:

    #91, tc,

    Alphie is not stupid. Suggesting such is more a testament of your own stupidity where if someone disagrees they are labeled “stupid”.

    Alphie obviously has mental issues. It is not my place, nor my own own experience, to diagnose him more definitely, but I would suggest a form of schizophrenia.


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