Eternal Earth-Bound Pets:

You’ve committed your life to Jesus. You know you’re saved. But when the Rapture comes what’s to become of your loving pets who are left behind? Eternal Earth-Bound Pets takes that burden off your mind.

We are a group of dedicated animal lovers, and atheists. Each
Eternal Earth-Bound Pet representative is a confirmed atheist, and as such will still be here on Earth after you’ve received your reward. Our network of animal activists are committed to step in when you step up to Jesus.

We are currently active in 20 states and growing. Our representatives have been screened to ensure that they are atheists, animal lovers, are moral / ethical with no criminal background, have the ability and desire to rescue your pet and the means to retrieve them and ensure their care for your pet’s natural life.

From their FAQ:

Q: Is this a Joke?
A: No. This is a serious offer to our Christian friends who believe in the Second Coming and honestly care about the future of their pets after the Rapture occurs.

Yeah right!

  1. tc says:

    Now I _know_ Alfred1 is a poe!

    Had me going there for a while, no-one is that wilfully stupid as to believe all that nonsense…

    are they?

  2. Mr. Fusion says:

    #91, tc,

    Alphie is not stupid. Suggesting such is more a testament of your own stupidity where if someone disagrees they are labeled “stupid”.

    Alphie obviously has mental issues. It is not my place, nor my own own experience, to diagnose him more definitely, but I would suggest a form of schizophrenia.


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