WASHINGTON — In what government officials are calling a stirring testament to the leadership and foresight of late U.S. president Ronald Reagan, nearly $20 trillion in low denomination bills were discovered this week buried in the White House Rose Garden.
Sealed in hundreds of old mason jars, crumpled shoe boxes, socks, metal tins, and oven mitts, the financial windfall is believed to have been stashed away by Regan, then 76, during his second term.
“Our economic worries are no more,” announced a jubilant Barack Obama, who claimed that the remarkable find would sustain the struggling nation for the next two decades. “Not only did President Reagan manage to anticipate a crippling recession 20 years ahead of time, but it appears he left behind all of the resources we would need to overcome it.”
Found by Misanthropic Scott.
wasn’t most of the Republican debt paid to themselves (or close relatives)?
you know, like, “Let’s declare war on Iraq — that should quadruple the Haliburton stock price”
lo, and they laughed all the way to the (offshore) bank.
#14, jbenson2: Well, amusing, anyway.
#14 jbenson2 is just mad because he/she/it got all excited and tingly at the notion of saint ronnie riding in to save the day. Now he/she/it is going to have to commit a sin to relieve the discomfort.
Alfie is probably still wiping off his monitor and mopping up the keyboard. There will be scripture-laced hell to pay once he gets his wits about him and cleans up the mess.
Punked by The Onion. Poor ‘tards.
“Republicans aren’t woried about the debt, after all they mostly created it.”
Democrats are thoughtfully looking for intelligent solutions.
“Republicans are worried only about who they can blame.”
Democrats blame no one they just shoulder the load.
“For them, it’s nothing more then being able to get elected and enjoying those perks.”
Even in the unlikely chance they were not reelected Democrats would continue to selflessly serve.
The American public be damned!!
Champions of the working man. Just folks.
Dream on.
Nice to see that this site brings out so many brain dead retards that take an Onion article so seriously.
# 24 Loupe Garou
touché mon frère
lol, too funny.
i would think the landscapers would have thought they had a serious gopher problem by the time reagan buried a mere 1 million, let alone 20trillion in small bills..
and yeah, if this news had gone mainstream, there would have been HUGE sell off and exodus out of our markets..
#19 Funny. Comment #19 (funnier than the onion piece, mind you) comes from someone who is an expert blaming other admins for present & future failures of this one. Oh, the irony.
Reagan thought that if he cut spending in the end the economy would bounce back and make up for what he did.
The Democrats said he was crazy.
However in the end it did though I think he was out of office before the full pay off came through but not worry.
The Democrats had us heading back into negative numbers in no time.
I think some of them honestly think the deeper you are in dept the richer you are.
Geez! It’s not even CLOSE to April.
Worst joke ever!
http://blog.mrhacks.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/08/comic_book_guy.jpg
#31 Sorry, I thought it would embed the image. Maybe if I add html tags.
Worst joke ever!
http://blog.mrhacks.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/08/comic_book_guy.jpg
#31, 32…Nope. giving up.
I tried to see the humor, its not there…just your sickness.
Now I know why I find all interesting…its morbid curiosity…I wonder, as outsiders, what do you all think of the human race?
Republicans wish.
Hell,If He had that much foresight, why did he not find a way to cure the disease that killed him?
#14 – jbenson2,
Will you radical right wing nut jobs ever realize that the financial crisis we’re in today was directly caused by 28 years of unbroken voodoo Reganomics and rampant deregulation of all industry, including the Clinton years, of course?
No. Because you are unwilling to reexamine your old ideas in light of new facts.
Clearly this is evidence John P Holdren is correct, there are deficient individuals among us, having no heart and no shame, making fun of a President struck with a terrible disease:
The fetus, given the opportunity to develop properly before birth, and given the essential early socializing experiences and sufficient nourishing food during the crucial early years after birth, will ultimately develop into a human being. Where any of these essential elements is lacking, the resultant individual will be deficient in some respect. -John P. Holdren, director of the White House Office of Science and Technology Policy, in “Human Ecology: Problems and Solutions.” 1973.
Perhaps one of those Obama care death panels will decide its too costly to imbue you all with humanity…
You will have earned it.
FUNNY!
So true!! We would have been better off with Bonzo.
I wonder how long it will take for even the right wing nut jobs to realize that the financial problems we’re in today are the direct result of 28 unbroken years of gush-up, voodoo Reaganomics, including through the Clinton years.
It’ll probably never happen. I can’t wait to read what the nut jobs are going to say in response to this.
#14 – jbenson2 — How do you still stick with a right wing position even after seeing what such policies wrought?