Bad translation upon worse translations manipulated for political ends. Here’s another example that makes the God-was-an-alien-experimental-biogenetisist seem more plausible. Assuming you ignore the staggering amount of physical evidence for evolution, that is.

Professor Ellen van Wolde, a respected Old Testament scholar and author, claims the first sentence of Genesis “in the beginning God created the Heaven and the Earth” is not a true translation of the Hebrew.

She claims she has carried out fresh textual analysis that suggests the writers of the great book never intended to suggest that God created the world — and in fact the Earth was already there when he created humans and animals.
She said she eventually concluded the Hebrew verb “bara”, which is used in the first sentence of the book of Genesis, does not mean “to create” but to “spatially separate”. The first sentence should now read “in the beginning God separated the Heaven and the Earth.”
She writes in her thesis that the new translation fits in with ancient texts.

[…]”There was already water,” she said.

“There were sea monsters. God did create some things, but not the Heaven and Earth. The usual idea of creating-out-of-nothing, creatio ex nihilo, is a big misunderstanding.”

  1. Dr Dodd says:

    Oh great, another God and Bible mocking session… Don’t you people know that football is on?

    On the seventh day God said let there be football and it was so. And God saw that it was good.

  2. a hyper-intelligent pan-dimensional being says:

    Yup The Greatest Story Ever Told is just that a story look for it in the fiction section.

    There are and always will be a lot of gullible people in the world.

  3. Joeevil says:

    Nice reference to Jonathan Coulton in the pic.

  4. Jägermeister says:

    #30 – Alfred’s Mom – Hsi pee-pee is about 10x the size of my sons.

    That makes it roughly 5cm.

  5. B. Lation says:

    Bible freaks will simply say this translator is misinterpreting the same as Orly Taitz, and HIV freaks will say it’s the same “denialism” that goes with Duesberg’s translation of the HIV bible which some translate as saying HIV is a harmless retrovirus, and not something created in the beginning by Monsanto as a punishment if you don’t accept their drugs as savior.

  6. Wretched Gnu says:

    Ah, poor Alfred. Let’s look at the text, shall we?

    Deuteronomy 22:28

    “If a man happens to meet a virgin woman who is not engaged to be married, and he seizes her and rapes her, but is caught in the act, the rapist must pay the girl’s father fifty silver shekels. She must marry the rapist, because he has violated her. And so long as he lives, he may not divorce her.”

  7. TheCommodore says:

    The Hatfields and McCoys at it again? Who is scoring points here? And who in his right mind is reading anything this far into the thread? (No I didn’t read them all either – but it’s easy to know where these threads go – theists vs atheists. BORING….)

  8. bill says:

    What’s the big PROBLEM?

    Just Google it!

  9. bobbo, the devout evangelical anti-theist says:

    #41–wretched==how many decision points are there in this algorhythm? How many rules?

    virgin women
    unvirgin women
    married women
    unmarried women
    with child
    has children
    age limits
    Then go thru all above with men, boys, girls, animals with and without cloven hooves, shellfish? What am I missing and what size stones should I use???

    I just wanna save my soul!!!

  10. francoduina says:

    Ohhh.. this changes the perspective of everything… I’m so relieved… I’ll sleep so better from now on… Alfred, aren’t you the guy who makes fettuccine?

  11. verycheeky says:

    nice try, NOT.. there are other places in the 66 books written by 40 authors that say Jesus Created All Things..

    ► trying to do away with the guilt are we? Your accountable buddy!

    …and who in there right mind would reference to national pornagraphic for proof in evolution! LOL!!!!!!!!

  12. bobbo, the devout evangelical anti-theist says:

    #46–Cheeky==so that was Porn! I didn’t look that hard once there was a signup process to d/l it. I’m not gonna pay for porn, just like I’m not gonna just give my soul to god. If he wants it, he has to pay me for it. If its “my” soul, that should be my right. If its not my soul, and its “his” then I demand to know why he isn’t taking better care of it.

    I know my rights!!!!!

  13. right says:

    “So scripture manifests a genius far exceeding your intellectual capacity to appreciate.”

    Oh man, that is a rich pile of crap. Any sensible person knows that the information in the bible is 2000 years old and we’ve progressed to be much better and more humane than that.
    Alfred has not, he’s a pathetic, sad individual who quotes thousands of year old crazy talk. He’s afflicted with woo hoo and cult soup.
    Please don’t feel too sorry for him, just mock him as much as possible to expose his ignorance, and he has a boatload of that.
    BTW, don’t forget

  14. ECA says:

    Organizing is NOT creation. Its separating out from what is already there.

    and the only problem was..
    BEING CAUGHT in the act.. otherwise he was a free man.

  15. bobbo, the devout evangelical anti-theist says:

    Hey Alfie–in the KJV you quote==are the couple consensually together or as in the New Int’l that Wretched is quoting from, is it rape??

    but in either case, what if the woman would rather be alone? Or find someone else. Is this an option on her part, punishment for the guy, the girl, both???

    What gives? And when did “betrothed” come to mean the equivalent of being married??? It doesn’t mean that at all. Still a virgin while betrothed but deflowered with laid on and entered unto and all that?

    You think a society too poor to build a jail is that advanced in their thinking huh? Advanced as in we should change our laws and do it too???? State forcing marriage on people? Thats the highest moral value in this tale of woe?

    Also, was fun to read the rest of Deuteronomy. Whats the thinking behind not yoking ox with asses?? I can only think they would pull the plow unequally into a circle? But that whole don’t mixup men and womens clothing or its an abomination–what a fashionista god is, he really doesn’t miss a sparrow falling does he?? Wonder what the Scotts think of those restrictions—is a dress without underwear male or female wear?

  16. Alfred's Mom says:

    Jäg, if he cut an inch off he’d have a two inch hole.

  17. Alfred's Mom says:

    I wish I had yoked your ass.

  18. bobbo, the devout evangelical anti-theist says:

    So Alfred, are you saying that the bible is in the main irrelevant to modern day life or it still has moral lessons to teach us like: don’t hitch ox and assess together? I don’t understand your/god’s thinking on this. Shouldn’t the rule be don’t hitch an ox and ass together if they be of different walking speeds? I mean, pretty sloppy on gods part if he can’t make a good rule? Would if then follow that ox and asses cannot be used to plow the same field, farrow, or just not together?? I thought man was supposed to be in dominion over animals anyway. Does this make god an indian giver???

    Alfieeeeeeeeee. Why doesn’t god just mind his own business???

  19. qb says:

    “Nothing escapes His notice.”

    Does that include my underwear drawer? The cat barfed in there once, and I’ve always wondered why.

  20. Alfed's Mom says:

    #62 – Son, why doesn’t God stop the priests from fucking little boys? Is that none of his business?? You always had imaginary friends as a small bastard child, I guess it never ends.

  21. Cursor_ says:

    The bible is rife with bad translation and purposeful mis-translation for personal gain.

    The food taboos are a fine example of human self-interest and the Vulgate choice of changing Heylel to Lucifer is a great example of politics.

    It doesn’t help when christians cherry pick verses to only state what they want.


  22. right says:

    See, we have a stupid person ramping up their woo hoo, right Alfred?
    You know you are losing to rational thought but due to your low IQ you are not obliged to make a cogent defense. Well, that’s ok.
    BTW, don’t forget
    and the big one!

    I challenged Alfred1 $25,000 that Failin’ Palin will not win in a landslide in 2012 (Alfred is on Palin’s side of course) but we haven’t figured out the monetary details yet.
    Alfred, can you please email John to confirm the bet?

  23. Dr Dodd says:


    The liberal mind is a confusing glob of inconsistency.

    You scream homophobe when someone complains about the degenerate gay lifestyle then when one dresses up like a priest and “degenerates” you complain that nobody stops him.

    Make up your mind.

  24. qb says:

    Seriously Dodd, get your facts straight. You’re completely forgetting nuns on roller skates.

  25. bobbo, the devout evangelical anti-theist says:

    #67–Dr Doodiepants==that really either doesn’t make sense, or it demonstrates your point. – – – -OH==ok, I get it. You think all homosexuals are pedophiles. OK. Took me a while to get down to your level of stupidity. At that level, you should enjoy this:

    #68–Allfie: bark, bark, bark, bark, bark, bark, bark, bark, bark,bark, bark, bark, bark, bark, bark, bark, bark, bark, and to be excessively noisy: BARK!!!

  26. right says:

    Alfred…anyone home??
    Please respond. If you don’t, that bet is absolutely on and you’ll owe me (and a management fee for John) a lot of money.
    No bible quotes please.

  27. Dr Dodd says:

    #68-Alfred1-They are moonbats…

    I had a different description in mind, but let’s go with yours.

    What is it about moonbats that make them spew venom upon anything that resembles morality then claim to hold the moral high ground?

    >>its all quite hilarious.

    Definitely rates as a dark comedy.

  28. Dr Dodd says:

    #70-bobbo-You think all homosexuals are pedophiles.

    After you fall to that stage of degenerate behavior do labels really matter?

  29. qb says:

    #70 bobbo

    Do you notice how every topic to do with religion always ends with Dodd’s obsession with male gay sex? It’s rather interesting don’t you think?

    Anyway, back on topic. I’m amazed no one has talked about bara being the root of the name Barack.

  30. bobbo, the devout evangelical anti-theist says:

    #74–qb==Heh, heh. NO, not until you mentioned it. I guess when you are a hammer, you view the world as a nail???? So–I’m with you on noticeable for its consistency, but interesting???? No, can’t say that. I take that back. The level of hypocrisy really is stunning. Loving your fellow man, not being judgmental, loving the sinner but not the sin==I would say AMUSING how much the bibble quoters can directly violate the core tenets of christianity and still feel as if they are the chosen ones. But my main thesis against religion is that very kind of hypocrisy.

    Bara Hussein Obama–the one who creates hope in the near end times? The one who separates the bible quoters from the truly observant? I thought Barrack was Muslim for Barry? Just because a few of the letters are the same, I don’t think thats what root means, but I could be wrong. It may also depend on which of the many bibbles you use.


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