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What is it with these one-way space flights lately? First it was a guy saying a one-way to Mars might be a good idea. Now this guy. Admittedly, there is a bit of the Astronaut Farmer and (I’m guessing) a lot of weed involved with this one.

  1. MR says:

    Well, at first I wasn’t sure about it, but the $25,000 it pays convinced me. They have Iphone coverage on Titan, right?

  2. Faxon says:

    Some jerk where I work is retiring. He would be perfect, and he is a midget, too.

  3. KarmaBaby says:

    Unless there is a military reason for govts to explore outer space, it may now be up to private enterprise to do so. Due to dwindling funds and lack of public interest, NASA now has to settle for crashing into the moon instead of landing on it. “It was a huge success”, NASA announced. So this is our new standard? Successful crashes? One way trips are the new round trips.

  4. JimR says:

    FOR SALE: One ticket for return flight from Titan. Good until 2020. $45,000 (CAD). Contact JimR, Dvorak Uncensored.

  5. Father says:

    Previously I argued that trips off world, especially one-way trips, had greater negitives than positives.

    I have reversed my position. I encourage anyone to wishes to leave to do so.

    It will make for ‘great’ TV.

  6. Father says:

    The listing asks for a recruite that can stand great ‘speed’, and claims the spacecraft’s designer is a ‘scientist’.

    Any scientist worth his salt knows that we can’t feel, nor be affected by, speed. He should have said accelleration.

    Another graduate of the University of Cannabis, Alberta?

  7. chris says:

    Forum Troll Wanted: (0 Dollars/year, feeling of self satisfaction ).

    Use your extreme nationalism or political views to strike a blow against others.

    Ideal candidate will possess poor understanding of English grammar and inability to persuasively address thread topic. Experience using ad hominem attacks a plus.

    This position involves jockeying for post count at expense of substance versus a worldwide user base. Obtaining first post status will result in exponentially increasing quarterly bonuses.

    Ability to shift discussion to your unrelated fixation is a necessary skill for your success.

    Contract employment. Contract will be renewed until intelligent argument on all internet venues has ceased.

    Applicants please contact via Dvorak specific notation of “#postcount” if interested in applying for this or other unrelated positions.

  8. jcj71612 says:

    Space flight is always risky
    Find a single person (male or female-don’t make a diff) to take the 1-way trip.
    let them go.
    What difference does it make if it is someone who is risking their life or someone who knows they wont be coming back?

  9. scadragon says:

    I wish to nominate Barack Obama for this dangerous mission

  10. Bob says:

    #9, he can bring hope and change to the titans.

  11. nolimit662 says:

    I would like to nominate George W. Bush…….Good riddance!!

  12. FRAGaLOT says:

    What’s the point of getting paid $25,000 when you won’t be coming back? Likely die along the way, anyway. This guy should spend the money on a robot or something like the ones used on Mars.

  13. soundwash says:

    Can i have his frequent flyer miles?


  14. Uncle Patso says:

    I certainly hope he’ll be sending along lots of good scientific equipment to determine the composition of the surface of Titan (probably _not_ green cheese) and its atmosphere, its magnetic field, if any, and so on, and a powerful enough radio to return the data to Earth! A CB walkie-talkie or iPhone or pocket full of fireworks won’t cut it. Otherwise, how will he know the contractor has fulfilled his contract and didn’t just light out for parts unknown to sell the space craft?

  15. RTaylor says:

    A Mars mission will not happen. We need decades of massive funding in basic research before the engineering begins. The American people owe a bit of money now. We are replacing a multipurpose spacecraft with a tin can without an airlock or cargo capacity. Orion is an act of desperation that should be junked. Better to focus on robotic missions and let the Russians continue taxi service to LEO. If they get pissed, let the partners have the damn ISS for what good it has done.

  16. Uncle Dave says:

    #12: Hookers and booze before the flight?

  17. valcs says:

    #12: Hookers and booze DURING the flight?

  18. canucklehead says:

    best post to #4

    thanks Jimmer for the laugh

  19. noname says:

    Why face murder charges when a return trip is possible since Mars is less then 1/10th the distance at 78,341,212 Km vs. 1,300,000,000 Km to Saturn.

    Me thinks this “Scientist” doesn’t know his has from Shinola or its just a Halloween gag.

  20. noname says:

    # 7 chris

    How much does it pay? Is there a cash advance involved?

  21. Glenn E. says:

    Since when did we give up on robotic probes?! I don’t know who placed this ad. But why is space now only for humans? Especially disposable humans, if they’re not coming back? Seems someone wants us to forget that robots are far better at these one way trips. They don’t require near as much to eat, or air to keep them alive. Most of the huge cost of space travel, is eaten up by the life support requirements, when humans are along for the ride. And since most insist on returning to earth. Add to that the fuel to make it back.

    Build lots of space probes, and launch them from the ISS in orbit. And quit wasting tax dollars with all this human hero worship, that needs a person out there eyeballing every cold lump of rock. We’re decades behind exploring our own star system. Because NASA prefers the higher budgets that manned flights provide for its aerospace cabal. So they’ve dragged their feet, farting around with near space thrill rides. And now, they want to go back to where we already know plenty about, the Moon. And waste more money, mining water like it was gold. But any long term purpose for being on the Moon, isn’t something they’ve thought thru very well. Nor are they bothering to explain why it’s better to do “whatever it is” from the Moon, rather than from Earth.

    Frankly, I highly doubt they give a rats ass about it. They just want to get there. And then they’ll bother figuring out why, much later. Kind of like the current mission status of the ISS. Isn’t nearly finished, now what?

  22. Glenn E. says:

    I’ve often wondered about these astronauts. Especially the retired ones. Who all claim that they’ll go to Mars, if it becomes possible. But I’m more skeptical of their honesty, than of the reliability of the technology to achieve this trip. They know it likely years (even a decade) before such a trip might be possible. So they’re safe in saying “they’ll go”. Knowing full well they’ll be way too old to go, or even dead. But saying so, help promote the industry they’ve all profited from. Many former astronauts get VP offers, when they retire, at aerospace companies. Not because they’re such great businessmen. But parting because it’s a huge PR deal. And partly because it’s payback for having been a space hero, in the first place. Newer US astronauts see this, and know they’ll be taken care of. So naturally they say that they’ll go to Mars. It’s in their contract, to promote the space missions, with their celebrity. And nobody in the media ever questions this. Because they too are contracted to promote the missions. So they don’t ask them, “Aren’t they a little dishonest, say so, when they know they’ll never be asked to go in the first place?”

    As for anyone who IS young enough to go to Mars, or wherever. I have to think that NASA would question the sanity of such individuals. Because it would almost certainly be a one way trip. Maybe not even successful, the one way. So who in their right mind would ask to go? Anyone who’s crazy enough to ignore the dangers. And NASA isn’t going to send crazy people into space.

    So this basically gives you the classic “Catch 22” of deep space travel. You have to be crazy to want to go to Mars. And NASA won’t send you to Mars, if you’re crazy enough to want to go. That’s why they need robots. Those don’t care either way. They’ll just do what they’re programmed to do. And nobody will gripe about them being forced against their will. Since they don’t have any. Just be care NOT to make them too smart. Because they might realize the danger and refuse to go. But I suppose they could be programmed to be crazy enough to want to.


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