Static-X_Cannibal_3

SUSPECTED cannibals killed a young man, ATE part of him and then sold other bits to a KEBAB house. Cops also believe the 25-year-old victim’s body parts may have been used to fill PIES too. The trio of homeless men were arrested in Russia – accused of murdering the man with knives and a hammer.

Prosecutors revealed: “After carrying out the crime, the corpse was divided up – part of it was eaten and part of it was sold to a kiosk selling kebabs and pies.”

Suspicions were raised when dismembered parts of a human body were found near a bus stop in the outskirts of the Russian city of Perm – which is 720 miles east of Moscow. The three men all have criminal records, said Russian cops. They have been arrested on suspicion of killing their victim – who has not been named – before chopping up his corpse to eat.

Detectives for the Prem region released the astonishing statement that the human remains could have been used for kebabs and pies on their www.susk.perm.ru website.

CRIPES! I am never eating out again!




  1. Ah_Yea says:

    For all you cannibal connoisseurs:
    “Japanese people taste the best – whites are too salty!”

    http://tinyurl.com/6ohwd3

    I knew you were wondering.

  2. chuck says:

    Mmmm. Soylent Kebab!

  3. RTaylor says:

    Since when is THE SUN a reliable source of anything.

  4. Sister Mary Hand Grenade of Quiet Reflection says:

    Two cannibals were eating a clown and one said to the other, “does this taste funny to you?”

  5. joaoPT says:

    - Maaaa…I don’t like Grandpaaa….

    - Set it aside then and eat the vegetables.

  6. Santa Maria says:

    Yummm!!

  7. lakelady says:

    obviously you’ve never heard of the demon barber of fleet street – Sweeny Todd bwahahahahaha

  8. lakelady says:

    where’s Mrs Lovett when you need her?

  9. Dallas says:

    #4 LOL. Good one.

  10. amodedoma says:

    Think about it the next time you’re eating a kebab, or at a street vendor’s in some 3rd world country, or in that chinese take out that’s so cheap, or McDonalds or KFC or BK. If you want to eat right you better buy fresh and prepare it yourself.

  11. The Monster's Lawyer says:

    First Cannibal: “What do old people taste like?”
    Second Cannibal: “Depends.”

  12. Knife Control Freakology says:

    Dems will use this as a legitimate reason for knife & hammer control.

    Pubs will use this as a legitimate reason for allowing knives & hammers for protection.

    Independents will run screaming.