I wonder if a diet of only communion wafers and wine would do the trick.

There’s a new diet trend which claims dizzyingly high success rates, promises painless life-long commitment and allows dieters to eat anything they want.

Faith-based diets take the principles of Christianity and apply them to our overwhelming craving for chocolate, chips and cheese.

Advocates say dieters learn to fill the spiritual hole inside themselves with something more powerful than saturated fats.

The basic principle common to the U.S. programmes Christian Weigh Down and Thin Within (‘Helps you grow in faith while shrinking your waistline’), and the British equivalent Fit For Life Forever, is that dieters need to identify the deeper reasons why they over-eat, before they can hope to lose weight and keep it off permanently.

The trend began in America in the Eighties, but it’s finally taking hold here, with Christian weight-loss groups springing up, and dramatically increased sales of ‘spiritual dieting’ books such as What Would Jesus Eat?, Hallelujah Diet and The God Diet.

  1. Mr. Fusion says:

    Praise the lord and pass the pork rinds !!!

  2. Mr. Fusion says:

    Don’t forget that Chicken Fried Butt Steak.

  3. Mr. Fusion says:

    And deep fried corn dogs.

  4. Mr. Fusion says:

    And biscuits and bacon grease gravy.

  5. gal416 says:

    Whatever works.

  6. Howard Beale says:

    i’m no believer but I’m pretty sure gluttony has been one of the seven deadly sins for centuries glad they can find away to make money off an old idea

  7. Personality says:

    seven deadly sins is not in the bible, at least not in the original one. I pray the dinosaurs come back and eat all the thumpers.

  8. Mr. Fusion says:

    Does the Jesus Diet include diet soda or can you get to drink that lovely high fructose corn syrup sweetened soda?

  9. dusanmal says:

    Self control was Church message all along. This is just one obvious application.

  10. Benjamin says:

    Your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit. I think that means that you need to treat your body with respect. Feed yourself enough food not to be hungry and stop eating after that.

    Many Americans grew up thinking that having a clean plate at the end of a meal was required. Your body will tell you to stop eating when you are full. The belief that wasting food is sinful is what makes Americans fat.

  11. Don Quixote says:

    Finally a good use for the god thing.

    Which makes me wonder, Christians have been celebrating the birth of Jesus with a Pagan Yule festival, and his resurrection with another Pagan Aster Festival, but no one celebrates his Bar Mitzvah, not even the Jews.

  12. chuck says:

    I ate nothing but loaves and fishes for a month and I still gained weight (and there was enough food left over to fill 4 baskets!).

  13. Improbus says:

    You don’t need to pray. Just eat a salad a day and get some exercise. Jeez.

    Oh, and stop eating or drinking anything with HFCS (High Fructose Corn Syrup) in it.

  14. The Monster's Lawyer says:

    I keep praying that all these religious people come to their senses and realize that there is no god.

  15. Mr. Fusion says:

    Next headline,


    Great Success claimed.

    Beer Companies upset.

  16. GlowingApple says:

    “I wonder if a diet of only communion wafers and wine would do the trick.”

    I have heard several reports about Christians who do just that.

    Whether you believe the reports is another story…

  17. clancys_daddy says:

    More importantly where can I get that magnet.

  18. m.c. in l.v. says:

    Can I still have Devil’s food cake?

    Yeah, where can I get one of those dinosaurs eating the fish thingy? It will look great next to my Flying Spaghetti Monster.

  19. Uncle Patso says:

    From the article:
    “The basic principle is that dieters need to identify the deeper reasons why they over-eat…”

    Sounds good. I suppose the faith part just makes you feel all holy for losing the weight, and maybe to help a little with the whole “will power” thing.

    Reminds me of the episode of “The Beverly Hillbillies” where Granny talks about her miracle cold cure:
    Banker: Your medicine cures colds?
    Granny: Yup!
    Banker: How does it work?
    Granny: You take some of this and go to bed and in a week or ten days, you’re cured!
    Uncle Jed: Works every time!


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