When I first saw this I assumed it was from the Onion. Read the whole article for more weirdity and paranoia.

“I just wrote my first reference for a gun permit,” said a friend, who told me of swearing to the good character of a Goldman Sachs Group Inc. banker who applied to the local police for a permit to buy a pistol. The banker had told this friend of mine that senior Goldman people have loaded up on firearms and are now equipped to defend themselves if there is a populist uprising against the bank.

I called Goldman Sachs spokesman Lucas van Praag to ask whether it’s true that Goldman partners feel they need handguns to protect themselves from the angry proletariat. He didn’t call me back. The New York Police Department has told me that “as a preliminary matter” it believes some of the bankers I inquired about do have pistol permits. The NYPD also said it will be a while before it can name names.

While we wait, Goldman has wrapped itself in the flag of Warren Buffett, with whom it will jointly donate $500 million, part of an effort to burnish its image — and gain new Goldman clients. Goldman Sachs Chief Executive Officer Lloyd Blankfein also reversed himself after having previously called Goldman’s greed “God’s work” and apologized earlier this month for having participated in things that were “clearly wrong.”

Has it really come to this? Imagine what emotions must be billowing through the halls of Goldman Sachs to provoke the firm into an apology. Talk that Goldman bankers might have armed themselves in self-defense would sound ludicrous, were it not so apt a metaphor for the way that the most successful people on Wall Street have become a target for public rage.

  1. soundwash says:


    I wonder what the price dowry was . . . probably a whole new batch of favorable regulations.

    LOL… on point!


  2. soundwash says:

    #26 thecommodore said,

    So the thugs are armed now? Uh, sounds rather like a truism. Crime nation.

    #28 Plopmiksa said,

    How safe do you feel now that bankers are armed and dangerous with how they handle money?

    Um, you both are asleep at the wheel. The bankers have always been armed.

    They own and control the military of every country with a central bank via proxies.

    Until they completely ban American’s from owning guns, i actually feel quite safe in that aspect.

    Believe whatever propaganda you like… That we are a fully armed populace is the only thing that has ever kept a full-on invasion of this country from ever happening. The second we are disarmed, our landlords will publicly claim us as their sovereign property. (count on it) The paperwork has already been processed. Current “movements” indicate Colorado (Denver) will be the location of the new proxy Capital “owners” if their plans follow through.

    Turn off your TV -and you may eventually wake up and learn the truth before you die.


  3. LibertyLover says:

    #27, He got elected and sells went through the roof and I think they just stayed there. I haven’t checked in a while.

    I’m still having trouble getting standard 380 and 9mm. If I don’t mind buying the expensive stuff, it is available at certain locations.

  4. Rich says:

    I believe I may have posted this before- if the populace rises up against the bankers, the bankers will not be able to defend themselves, be they wielding guns or battleships or jet fighters. lol

  5. Uncle Patso says:

    Still not quite as bad as in Brazil, though we’re heading that way. In Sao Paulo, the rich commute by helicopter from their suburban villas to the financial center, the better to thwart the large number of armed kidnapping rings.

    “Eat the rich!”


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