I think constricting anus 100 times and denting navel 100 times in succession everyday is effective to good-bye depression and take back youth. You can do so at a boring meeting or in a subway. I have known 70-year-old man who has practiced it for 20 years. As a result, he has good complexion and has grown 20 years younger. His eyes sparkle. He is full of vigor, happiness and joy. He has neither complained nor born a grudge under any circumstance. Furthermore, he can make love three times in succession without drawing out.

In addition, he also can have burned a strong beautiful fire within his abdomen. It can burn out the dirty stickiness of his body, release his immaterial fiber or third attention which has been confined to his stickiness. Then, he can shoot out his immaterial fiber or third attention to an object, concentrate on it and attain happy lucky feeling through the success of concentration.

If you don’t know concentration which gives you peculiar pleasure, your life looks like a hell.

The above is the author’s description of his book – posted at Amazon.com.

And, uh, if you have the time, read some of the customers’ reviews.

Thanks, Cináedh

  1. Sigma says:

    F*cking hilarious

  2. TooManyPuppies says:

    “release his immaterial fiber or third attention which has been confined to his stickiness”

    WTF does that even mean!? FFS I know 5 year olds that can write better!

  3. sargasso says:

    Thanks for sharing.

  4. Randomized says:

    Constricting the anus can also help you pass a lie detector test, or at least skew the results. I found a post from a guy that was on Penn & Teller Bullshit! last year discussing this.


  5. sargasso says:

    Is it on Audible?

  6. Ultraslug says:

    This was included in Dave Barry’s Holiday 2002 Gift Guide

    Still funny after seven years.

  7. pcsmith says:

    Is this a story about Kegel exercises?

    We used to do group Kegels in the stands at Penn State football games. It may have helped them win their first National Championship.

  8. Dirk Thundernuts says:

    Ride with me and you’ll do it about a 100 times in 10 minutes.

  9. raster says:

    It reads like haiku!:


    “big blank from your buttock
    you can feel as if your root chakra
    leaked sweet hot mucus.”

  10. Patrick H says:

    Butt kegals..interesting

  11. Glenn E. says:

    Apparently English ISN’T the author’s first language. And maybe not even his second one. I guess one only needs good grammatical skill in english, when writing fictional novels. For self help books, it’s acceptable to write like a fifth grader (at least for Amazon.com, it is).

  12. Glenn E. says:

    It sounds as if this book’s author (Hiroyuki Nishigaki) is the Kevin Trudeau of Japan. And his few books are about as flimsily written as Trudeau’s. Several chapters are just reprints of USENET postings, he once made. With confused responders. Bet they weren’t paid for being published. Shouldn’t profiting from other people’s postings, be considered illegal?


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