“This isn’t from the MooOnion?”

A new study shows that the longer a cow has been lying down, the more likely it is to stand up, but the reverse is not true. Once up, you cannot predict how soon a cow will lie down again.

Are Cows More Likely to Lie Down the Longer They Stand? adds to our knowledge of what cows do and why they do it.

Some researchers succumb to temptation – hazarding unprovable guesses as to cows’ intentions, motivations and desires. Five scientists in Scotland, though, took a careful path, methodically measuring a very specific part of the what, and not guessing too wildly at the why.

Bert Tolkamp, Marie Haskell, Fritha Langford, David Roberts and Colin Morgan, based at the Scottish Agricultural College, published their monograph in the journal Applied Animal Behaviour Science.

It builds upon a large body of work by other researchers. Some of the earlier reports have almost poetical titles. The best in that respect is (in my opinion, at least) a Swedish report called Effects of Milking Frequency on Lying Down and Getting Up Behaviour of Dairy Cows.

UPDATE: Cows! Beer! 40 pints PER DAY! Need you more to click here?




  1. The0ne says:

    One of the best research ever! Money well spent.

  2. Dallas says:

    Finally, some objective research on this puzzling question.

  3. Cap'nKangaroo says:

    The big research dollars go to where the cow drops the pie. I hear Vegas really wants to expand into cow pasture bingo.

  4. Daniel Kaiser says:

    That’s why my girl friend keeps staring at me.

  5. qb says:

    They’re Scottish. Now there’s a surprise.

  6. ray says:

    I can finally die happy.

  7. sargasso says:

    Cows just don’t like lying down when people are watching.

  8. Buzz says:

    This applies to children, too.

  9. FRAGaLOT says:

    The scotts are into sheep.. not cows.
    I call bullshit on this! :p

  10. t0llyb0ng says:

    Can’t tell if this text will display properly or not.&8195;There is no “preview” button.&8195;But here goes.

    Maybe it’s because lying down is more uncomfortable for a cow than standing up.&8195;Don’t they sleep standing up?&8195;Same with a horse, ney?

    Birds sleep perched upright & they have a tendon in each leg that uses the weight of their body to grip the branch.&8195;If a bird lies down it is sick & probably dying.

    What does it all mean.&8195;These researchers may be the last to know.

  11. clancys_daddy says:

    Time to go back to that old Missouri past time of cow tipping. Ah the memories of youth.

  12. t0llyb0ng says:

    Let me try that HTML spacing thing again:

    These researchers are projecting subjective motivations onto creatures that don’t think like us. Generally, cows would rather stand than sit. So what.

  13. rezyde says:

    Ok, so I can’t believe research was done for this subject.

  14. rezyde says:

    Ok, so I can’t believe research was done on this subject.

  15. ECA says:

    WE have modified cattle to specific Purposes..
    1. meat
    2. MILK

    The POOR dont get the GOOD meat, they end up eating DEAD milk cattle.
    WE have Cut the number of Milk cows and Increased the amount of milk to the point…
    The amount of MILK hasnt fallen.
    That a COW lasts 5 years(it can live to 40+) then end up as MEAT.
    Milk cattle stand around in DIRT filled with their OWN feces..
    we have to give them so much in SHOTS/medical that it makes it 2-3 times more expensive.
    That MOST of you, upon seeing the life of a cow, would call the ASPCA..
    And you DONT want to know what we feed them..


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