“There was definite shrinkage!”

MAY 6–A Transportation Security Administration screener is facing an assault rap after he allegedly beat a co-worker who joked about the size of the man’s genitalia after he walked through a security scanner. The May 4 confrontation involved Rolando Negrin, 44, and other TSA employees who had previously taken part in a training session at Miami International Airport, according to the below Miami-Dade Police Department reports. Negrin, pictured in the mug shot at right, and his co-workers had been training with new “whole body image” machines–the controversial kind that provide very revealing images of a traveler–when Negrin walked through the scanner.

“The X-ray revealed that [Negrin] has a small penis and co-workers made fun of him on a daily basis,” reported cops. Following his arrest, Negrin told police that he “could not take the jokes anymore and lost his mind.” After work Tuesday evening, Negrin confronted fellow TSA screener Hugo Osorno in an airport parking lot. Negrin wanted to “resolve a problem,” and get Osorno, 34, to “finally respect him.” Instead, Negrin allegedly pulled out a police baton and began striking Osorno, while demanding an apology. A witness told cops that Negrin told Osorno, in Spanish, “Get on your knees or I will kill you and you better apologize.” When Negrin, wearing his TSA uniform, arrived for work yesterday, he was arrested on an aggravated battery count and booked into the Miami-Dade lockup. Osorno, police reported, suffered “bruises and abrasions on his back and arms” during the attack.

Sounds like we have a bunch of juveniles working for the TSA, don’t you feel safer now?




  1. KMFIX says:

    Exactly what everyone thought those machines would be used for…

    And they don’t prevent anything…

    Keep up the image of safety people… we don’t want anyone scared of reality.

  2. Gildersleeve says:

    Ah geez, you would have to post the poor bastard’s picture. It’s bad enough he’s hung like Howard Stern.

    Why are so many adults in this country emotionally stuck in adolescence? Maybe lack of testosterone.

  3. ray says:

    im sure the doctors do the same to patients with smallies. behind closed doors of course.

  4. Dirk Thundernuts says:

    Apparently he pulled it out in front of another female TSA employee and she stated, “no, I don’t smoke.”

  5. GregAllen says:

    A goatee says a lot about a man… and none of it is good.

  6. Steve says:

    Perhaps someone could make a prosthetic wanker embiggener. Not for playtime, just for pretty.

  7. Animby says:

    # 3 ray said, “im sure the doctors do the same to patients with smallies. behind closed doors of course.”

    Not very damn often. We have the sure knowledge that even the smallest of non-pathological peepees can grow into a sledgehammer cock. Surely your girlfriend has mentioned you, yourself, are a shower not a grower?

    Which begs another question: How long before someone figures out how to make a prosthesis that reflects a picture of a penis of Long Dong proportions? And then how long before someone figures out how to stick a fuse into one?

  8. jccalhoun says:

    i don’t think the scanners had much to do with it. The guy could always claim there was shrinkage. Some are showers and some are growers anyway so unless he was aroused while going through the machine then there’s no way to know the truth of the situtation

  9. Tippis says:

    “Sounds like we have a bunch of juveniles working for the TSA, don’t you feel safer now?”

    Sounds more like there’s absolutely nothing new to this story. Everyone knew this would happen and that TSA serves somewhere between zero and no purpose… well, apart from providing government welfare without actually calling it such (because that would upset the punters).

  10. airphobia says:

    I want ALL the TSA agents to have big balls.

  11. The0ne says:

    “Juvenile” is not the right word. The right word could be “idiots, buffoons, morons, cretins, aholes…etc.” Seriously, base on the threads here about TSA I think those words fit perfectly.

  12. Dallas says:

    I usually look at some porn before before walking through.

  13. Benjamin says:

    Clearly a case of sexual harassment. They must have a procedure for this. They need a training day where they serve this cake: http://cakewrecks.blogspot.com/2008/08/this-calls-for-celebration.html

  14. WeeWee says:

    Just as I suspected. Body scanners shrink your dick.

  15. Curtis E. Flush says:

    “I was in the pool!”
    -George Costanza

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1cUNNKzj_Nc

  16. spsffan says:

    Well, the guy looks pretty fat. Everyone knows that fat guys have small wangs. Or at least they look small compared to the rest of them.

    Next time, take the train!

  17. woody says:

    I haven’t been on an aeroplane since the first gulf war. I wouldn’t mind if they have widescreens for these full body scanners, just because, ya know.


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