Who needs Halo: Reach with all that messy, boring story and stuff when you can skip right to the good, clean fun (ie, killing people)! After the commercial, of course.




  1. ECA says:

    ONION………..

  2. scadragon says:

    Fallout is way better…..

  3. zoltar says:

    You should start warning people about these commercials.

    [Your wish has been fulfilled. – UD]

  4. Rider says:

    Out of all the funny stuff you could post from the onion why did you pick this unfunny clip.

  5. Kelvington says:

    I think the real story here is that FORMER CNN anchor Bobbie Batista is on The Onion News Network! That’s huge!

  6. admfubar says:

    damn i cant past the commercial…

    what the hell is wrong with the encoding on the page??? isnt there anyone checking for errors??? i ran this page through w3c here is part of the output….

    Markup Validation Service

    Check the markup (HTML, XHTML, …) of Web documents
    Jump To: Validation Output
    Errors found while checking this document as XHTML 1.0 Transitional!Result: 211 Errors, 39 warning(s)
    File:

    Use the file selection box above if you wish to re-validate the uploaded file default.htm
    Encoding: utf-8
    Doctype: XHTML 1.0 Transitional
    Root Element: html
    Root Namespace: http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml

  7. Awake says:

    One of the weaker Onion parodies, with great production values.

  8. stokes says:

    “When we come back. A new cure for crying children smothering.” wtf was that all about?

  9. jerry says:

    not far from the truth.

  10. mcpepants says:

    is this coming out for Xbox? looks sick!

  11. chuck says:

    I’m waiting for Close Range Forever.

  12. King Alfred the Great (Jerk Off) says:

    Now that’s a great idea for the next time Alfie visits. TARGET PRACTICE !!!

  13. ECA says:

    Tribes 2, Heavy Gear…

  14. jobs says:

    #12 Thats the problem with you liberals always so willing to kill people you don’t agree with.

    I thought the Onion was spot on, got a giggle out of it.

  15. sociatyistoblame says:

    The industry has been there / done that.

    Postal, Call of duty modern warfare 2 (you shoot unarmed civilians in the Moscow airport)
    Gears of war (chain saws in face, head stomp)
    JFK reloaded (don’t ask ,you don’t wanna know)
    Rapelay (you _really_ don’t wanna know)
    etc etc

  16. faxon says:

    I think I saw Eideard and Bobbo’s faces in there.

  17. me says:

    SICK!

  18. Rick Cain says:

    As opposed to hot new TV crime drama which is basically people getting shot in the face.

  19. NiktheElectrician says:

    OMG I pissed myself laughing at the absurdity. The Demo online for the game is even funnier. Are they actually going to sell a retail version of this game?? If so, that is a little much.

    I guess I have a strange sense of humor.

  20. Ron says:

    Is this any better than just cause 2 or just cause 1


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