“Excuse me Homeland Security? Yeah, I’d like to report that I see a bunch of power mad scum who are taking over my country. Can you please arrest yourselves?”

A man caused a brief scare on the bridge Wednesday morning after someone reported he was carrying a suspicious package. It turns out the item was a gigantic replica candy bar, according to Trooper Guy Gill, a State Patrol spokesman.>

“It was called in as a suspicious package on the bridge, and we take that very seriously,” Gill said. “But then we go out there and find we are dealing with a big, old king-size candy bar.” He said the bar — which was 6 feet tall and more than 2 feet wide — was an advertising prop for a type of candy that is typically sold as school fundraisers. The brand of candy is unknown.

According to Gill, the call came in just before 10 a.m. The individual who was holding the plastic candy bar was “trying to advertise on the bridge.”

Yep. Someone tell the terrorists they can stop anytime…it’s over.




  1. General Tostada says:

    If You See Something, Say Something!

    (but if you have nothing to say, don’t say it)

  2. noname says:

    # 21 General Tostada said

    Very good sir!

    You are so correct. Report all activities deemed as possibly superstitious. We need to be preemptive and not reactive!

    Our country, our well being, our patriotism all depends on people phoning tips 24/265.

    God bless America! God bless patriots who report all activities routinely as their civic duty.

    Don’t trust your neighbor, your Friend, your family. You can only trust the government. Our government has the supercomputers, data-bases, procedures and process to sort out the real tips from the bad tips in real-time.

    Even in this candy case, the government successfully sorted out the facts.

    We should applaud this fine American specimen for demonstrating what American citizenship means, turning in your neighbor!

    Sieg-heil comrade Napolitano. May your reign be long lived, un-scrutinized and forever protected from budget cuts.