“At 12:26p today, an alert was issued by the National Emergency Alert System and received on the mobile handsets of thousands of residents in New Jersey. Those affected, mostly in Monmouth and Ocean Counties, New Jersey, received the message via their mobile handsets and were instructed to “seek shelter immediately” due to the “extreme threat to life”. This alert was received by consumers across all major cellular carriers in the Monmouth County area. While no actual emergency appears to have occurred requiring residents to seek immediate shelter, residents of Monmouth and Ocean counties were left panic-stricken and in a state of shock and confusion. It has been reported that the majority of those receiving the alert are either Android or iPhone consumers.”

Hacker, false flag fear alert, or those pesky Romulans? Anyway, another good reason to use a throwaway cell phone.



  1. Dallas says:

    Another War of the Worlds?

    Hopefully panic won’t be as bad as say, Walmart running out of bacon.

  2. seetheblacksun says:

    Verizon apologized, adding that the alert was supposed to say “test message”. Oh yeah, “conditioning message” perhaps. Look forward to me of this crap.

    http://tinyurl.com/bvjrwdb

    • msbpodcast says:

      They probably laughed themselves crooked writing it and then some ass-hole pressed [Send].

      Verizon is equivalent to ComCast and to AT&T.

      They all blow and suck, at the same time.

  3. seetheblacksun says:

    …more of this crap…

  4. orchidcup says:

    My first response would be,

    “Why am I receiving an emergency alert over my cell phone? I am not aware of any emergency alert protocol that involves notification via cell carriers.”

    Then I would probably dial up local law enforcement and inquire about the alert, or turn on the radio and check for alerts.

    This event sounds like a hacker prank to me. Or possibly a psyops operation to test the response of the public.

    • The Watcher says:

      This is the sheep-herding system now in effect at many colleges and universities (i.e., victim disarmament zones) during active shooter situations.

      It worked quite well at Virginia Tech the other day, largely because the shooter apparently had no intention of shooting anybody but the Officer involved….

      Had Mr. Cho returned, we’d likely have a similar body count as the last time…. But at least everybody would know why their loved ones died….

      Idiots….

    • steveg says:

      Our town has an emergency alert system via cell phones. This is an opt-in service. Text messages are sent to all registered cell phones when a need arises.

      The last time there was a problem; the people who answered the phone at the police station didn’t yet have the information, which created some confusion.

  5. orchidcup says:

    “This test message was not clearly identified as a test,” the company said in a statement. “We apologize for any inconvenience or concern this message may have caused.”

    O.K. It was a psyops operation.

    Somebody “forgot” to label it as a test message.

    How about sending a notice first that alerts the user that the following message is only a test?

    I guess they did not think of that either. Bogus.

  6. An unreliable source says:

    You better watch out. You better not pout.
    You better not cry. I’m telling you why:

    That spaceship hiding behind Mercury is making its move.

    You’ve been warned folks!

    • deowll says:

      Yes, I suppose it would rather ruin things for the human race if intelligent life forms ever show up.

  7. Publius says:

    FEAR

    HAVE A TASTE

    GET USED TO IT

    MORE WHERE THAT CAME FROM

  8. pedro says:

    Android people would have questioned the message. Oy!phone sheep would have run in circles for hours.

  9. orchidcup says:

    I am curious to know what kind of real threat would be mitigated by simply seeking shelter somewhere? Acid rain?

    Seeking shelter would not be helpful in a poison gas attack, a dirty bomb, a biological attack, or anything carried by the atmosphere.

    A nuclear detonation would fry you before you receive the alert.

    Any ideas?

    • deowll says:

      There are people who have underground shelters with air filters, solar cells, on the roof and battery back ups.

      I’m not one of them but you can rig something using a role of tissue as the filter that would actually do a good job of removing radioactive particulates.

      • orchidcup says:

        If there are radioactive particulates in the air, breathing through a roll of tissue will only slightly delay the inevitable.

        Radioactive particulates in the air means you have already been exposed to more radiation than you can handle.

        The fallout shelters of the 50′s and 60′s were not well thought out. Assuming you could survive a few months in the shelter, you would be exposed to high levels of radiation as soon as you exit the shelter. It was a no-win situation.

        I guess the government figured that out eventually.

  10. orchidcup says:

    The last line of the “test” message says:

    Certainty: Observed (Determined to have occurred or is ongoing)

    “Determined to have occurred” eliminates a nuclear detonation unless they are concerned about fallout, in which case if you are close enough to the detonation to receive fallout, you should have heard or seen the detonation anyway. If you see heavy fallout in your area, you are fried.

    An ongoing poison gas, biological attack, or dirty bomb would be difficult to escape if you don’t know which direction it is coming from. Taking shelter would only help in a hermetically sealed building. Taking shelter in a vehicle would not be helpful because of leaky air vents and so forth.

    What am I missing here?

    • pedro says:

      Gotta love the expiration date

      • orchidcup says:

        Good eye, pedro. The messagw expires after one month.

        According to the header, the alert would have been for one hour. 58 minutes, to be exact.

        What kind of real threat would have a duration of only one hour?

        Maybe they figure everybody would be toast by then, so they can move in and remove the cadavers at some point.

        Or the message is simply psyops to determine the level of panic generated by the message.

  11. orchidcup says:

    I remember in elementary school we would have those “duck and cover” drills where you would crawl under your desk and curl up into a little ball and cover your head.

    This was designed to protect us from a nuclear detonation. Little did we know back then that the gamma burst from an observed detonation would fry us anyway. Then the shock wave and heat blast would incinerate what is left.

    Those were the good old days.

    • msbpodcast says:

      Then came the neutron bomb.

      It would waste you but leave your valuables intact.

      The civil defense consisted of survivors stripping watches and any jewelry off of our corpses and moving into our real-estate.

      It made growing up in the ’60s fun, didn’t it?

      I still remember Neil Young and the rest of the Buffalo Springfield singing it on our old Electrohome TV.

      there’s something happenin’ here
      What it is ain’t exactly clear
      There’s a man with a gun over there
      tellin’ me I got to beware

      I think it’s time we stop, children
      What’s that sound
      Everybody look what’s goin’ down

      There’s battle lines being drawn
      Nobody’s right if everybody’s wrong
      Young people speakin’ there minds
      Getting so much resistance from behind

      It’s time we stop,
      hey what’s that sound
      Everybody look what’s goin’ down

      What a field day for the heat
      A thousand people in the street
      Singin’ songs and carryin’ signs
      Mostly say: ‘Hooray for our side’

      It’s time we stop,
      Hey what’s that sound
      Everybody look what’s goin’ down

      Paranoia strikes deep
      Into your life it will creep
      It starts when your always afraid
      Step out of line the man come and take you away

      You better stop
      Hey what’s that sound
      Everybody look what’s going down x4

      • msbpodcast says:

        The song was called “For What Its Worth“.

        • orchidcup says:

          How about this one:

          NOBODY TOLD ME
          John Lennon

          Everybody’s talking and on one says a word
          Everybody’s making love and no one really cares
          There’s Nazis in the bathroom just below the stairs

          Always something happening and nothin going on
          There’s always something cooking and nothing in the pot
          They’re starving back in China, so finish what you got

          Nobody told me there’d be days like these
          Nobody told me there’d be days like these
          Nobody told me there’d be days like these
          Strange days indeed, strange days indeed

          Everybody’s runnin and no one makes a move
          Well everybody’s a winner and nothing left to lose
          There’s a little yellow idol to the north of Katmandu

          Everybody’s flying and no one leaves the ground
          Well everybody’s crying and no one makes a sound
          There’s a place for us in movies, you just gotta stay around

          Nobody told me there’d be days like these
          Nobody told me there’d be days like these
          Nobody told me there’d be days like these
          Strange days indeed, most peculiar mama

          Everybody’s smoking and no one’s getting high
          Everybody’s flying and never touch the sky
          There’s UFO’s over in New York and I ain’t too surprised

          Nobody told me there’d be days like these
          Nobody told me there’d be days like these
          Nobody told me there’d be days like these
          Strange days indeed, most peculiar mama

  12. What?? says:

    Fear fear.

  13. AdmFubar says:

    this was just a “jersey shore” alert.. prolly another kardashian was about to get “annuled”

  14. ReadyKilowatt says:

    Oh, like you guys never fucked up at work.

    If you’re gonna make a mistake, make it big.

    • Animby says:

      I’m not allowed to.
      “Sorry Mr Tebow, I tried to lance that cyst bit accidentally removed your arm at the shoulder. Hey, everybody has a bad day!”

  15. orchidcup says:

    Here is an interesting blurb that appears at the end of the news story in the Star-Ledger:

    Today’s false alarm came just two days after scores of New Jersey residents felt their houses shake — an incident that has yet to be explained. Dozens of people reported that their floors shook, bottles rattled and bells jingled, and many thought they had experienced an earthquake similar to one that rattled the Garden State four months ago.

    A spokesman for the U.S. Geological Survey said none of the seismometers stationed around the state picked up even a hint of trembling Saturday. And there were no confirmed reports of thunderstorms at the time.

  16. Bert says:

    OK, so McDonald’s are ending their ‘curly fries’ promotion period. I don’t need a text for that.

  17. Hugh Farnham says:

    The absolute LAST people I’d be taking advice from in an emergency would be the government. Those putzes couldn’t manage a medium-sized yard sale. First off, they’d be too busy stealing from the cash box.

    I still remember those 911 emergency operator dolts advising the people in the World Trade Center to stay in their offices. That’s about typical for those “preparedness experts”. The 911 operator is nothing but a hand-holding service for nebbishes who don’t know how to DEAL with emergencies themselves.

    Emergency notification systems? Thanks anyway, I figure those towering mushroom clouds will probably be what they used to refer to at the academy as “a clue”, hein?

  18. Glenn E. says:

    For their next trick, Verizon will probably cook up some way to tip next year’s presidential vote, by texting some “test message” that keeps to wrong voters away from the polls. And then apologize that it was an “unintended mistake” (aren’t they always?), or the work of some hacker. Was this “alert message” Verizon’s way of earning some of those Civil Defense bucks, that went MIA when public schools and communities took down those lousy sirens? Is Verizon now getting some of DHS or DOD dollars, for providing a means of herding the cattle via their cellphones? Can customers opt out of ever receiving this crap?!

    • orchidcup says:

      You probably can’t opt out of an emergency alert message, but I would view any further emergency alerts with skepticism.

      The broadcast emergency alert system that was tested on radio and television recently was a total flop in most areas.

      I am at a loss to suggest how you would verify an emergency alert. The phones would probably be jammed at local law enforcement agencies.

      Maybe you should be in charge of taking care of yourself.

      What a concept.

  19. UncDon says:

    Standard weekly warning to everyone in New Jersey and those visiting the state for whatever reason. If you lived in Minnesota you would get no warning because Minnesota isn’t like New Jersey.

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  21. Rick says:

    We had sirens go off here around 2:30pm yesterday. Everybody looked outside….no tornadoes, no earthquake, and went back to their business. Makes you wonder if people really are afraid of Iran or North Korea, no attack yet.

    I saw a print retraction the next day, claiming programming error.